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The other big news is that I got a desperate call from Uncle Bevan who is very eager for me to return. Of course since he rescued me all those years ago from that awful drug den and from his dastardly evil twin brother Doctor Dev I could hardly refuse. So I said I would return if Sam and Christie came along too. He couldn't say no, though he did make me promise not to tell them I was getting paid five times more then them. So Kirsty, Kane and Eduardo will drive Back to Summer Bay and will hopefully blow Jack and Martha of the map. Irene is getting the spare room ready, Colleen is baking a cake, and Alf is practicing his "strike me roan it's Kirsty and Kane." They have cleared out and redecorated my old dressing room and emptied out two extra rooms ready for all the expected fan mail for Kirsty and Kane and rented three large warehouses for all of mine.
I will also be very glad to be back in Australia as I have been stalked by that Lindsay Lohan person who seems to be oddly insatiable. She pounces on me every time she seems me. It really is embarrassing. Being irresistible is quite a burden you know. I am quite used to screaming fans surrounding the Winnebago, but Lindsay is something else. We are thinking about a restraining order as the poor dear obviously needs to go into therapy.
My adoring fans might also like to know that Bec and Lleyton are allowing me to use their Palm Beach pad as a base, so they will be able to get autographs and pictures during filming breaks; and I will be attending Christie's wedding in February. I was going to be Christie's best man/ male bridesmaid, but we decided it would take too much attention away from the bride and groom if I was, and the press would go nuts. It is their day after all. I do have a very nice new Armani suit for the occasion and I sure it will look fantastic in the photos. We will all start work on Uncle Bev's fantastic scripts as soon as Christie comes back from her honeymoon.
I hope you like the snaps. Nic, Brad, JJ, Chris, Chris, and Sharni all send their love from LA. JJ is on the look out for a new cameraman, as one of the current lot went barmy and shot the sound man, the grip, and the makeup artist, so I am putting in a good word for you Dan.
Ciao ,
Your good friend,
Eduardo Bearo
Superstar.
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Recent Features
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Warning: Within contains Majors Spoilers
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