As the UK goes to the polls today, we launch the latest in our results as we labour our way through the characters, with a liberal sprinkling of bad puns and a look at some of their best stories. As an independent fan site, some of the characters will be green with envy that we can launch this.
(Political neutrality and everything - but you try working Plaid Cymru into a normal sentence!)
79=. Jack Wilson (2 points)
If I was to say Jack only got two points many new fans will have thought his popularity has dropped pretty dramatically, but there was a pretty forgettable character in the mid 90's who burnt down Fisher's house, before leaving in what were truly heart-breaking scenes as he tried in vain to hold onto Michael. Came back in 2000 for Sally's wedding with some new accent. Maybe I could compare them to Sinn Fein in bad boys come good.
79=. Hugh Sullivan (2 points)
Back in mid-2007, as Rachel's marriage to Kim fell apart around her, Hugh came back to cast complication to an already complicated situation involving pregnant Kit's, mumps, bowls and a fellow doctor who was trying to whisk her away to Africa.
79=. Adam Cameron (2 points)
Adam, and his partner in slliness, Matt Wilson, spent three years or so in the early years of the show doing nothing much apart from being a slightly iffy replacement for Lance and Martin. After Matt disappeared, Adam got newer, slightly younger partners in silliness before towards the end he got to get himself some darker storylines such as killing Bobby, depression and then Sam burning his house down and he was in everyone's good books again. So, he killed one of the shows favourites, rescued an annoying dweeb like Sam.
79=. Kit Hunter (2 points)
Kit once rode high in the top ten, so to find her amongst the also rans so soon shows a slightly flaky support, but also the fact that she turned from the good old ex-alcoholic battler with a rough streak to a bit bleh, who stole peoples husbands.
79=. Jai Fernandez (2 points)
Home and Away hits back at those PC do-gooders by placing a token minority character in the show and then the fans are shown up for the racists that they are by only giving him two points and we all support the BNP. Or so sensationalist headlines would have you believe. Jai was another of these characters that stayed around for a few years and generally didn't have those massive stories.
79=. Gina Austin (2 points)
If I'm honest, like a Gordon Brown speech, this bunch of characters is pretty uninspring. Gina is the parent to the equally interesting Austin siblings. Actually, I think she's as dull as dishwater.
79=. Freya Duric (2 points)
Freya's inclusion here surprised me, because she more than anyone else was the direction of much ire in the first half of 2009, perhaps the embodiment of everything that was wrong with the show. However she's poppled up in someone's votes, and perhaps it will allow me to show this picture of her kissing Nicole for some titilating excitment.
And that's it with the tiresome UK General Auctions from your returning officer.