I think you've pretty much hit the nail on the head here.
We aren't saying Rachel is completely right in what she is doing , fair enough she has made a mistake in how she approached it but Tony is being just as unreasonable as she is.
Tony is being irrational, it isn't as though they are moving to somewhere they will have nothing. Rachel will have an amazing job, and he will find a job too! Not to mention his only LIVING son lives in the country, thats the son he should be more worried about being close to , to be honest.
I think they are both just too headstrong for their own good, and Tony , in particular just needs to get over it.