atrus

"So I'd be a full-time artist?" Not how it works, Mali/writers! Or at least, not for 99.9% of artists, particularly new ones. Finding this very implausible to say the least after his minimal artistic exertions so far, which seem to have consisted as much of shouting at Kirby as they have of actually painting. Cash and the organ recipients is going more or less in the direction I expected it to. Justin and Claudia seem to be on a repeat cycle.

So, today's episode proved that the age-old Summer Bay cliche of "look me in the eye and say X" can be delivered with a slur and in a drunken stupor without losing one iota of its potency. So good work, Eden, for that. Considerably less good to hear a reprise of the Selective Amnesia Song. I think I may have just passed the engagement event horizon with the Justin and Claudia storyline. I spent much of those scenes wondering whether Claudia is the person to wear a sling for the longest period in H&A's entire history? Except perhaps if an actor had a real-life injury...

Maybe it does occasionally happen in real life, I don't know, but I'm struggling to believe that Bree got this bad this quickly. Were she and Felicity even that close? I know Dana is the resident sleuth and all, but surely it must be apparent to any/all of Bree's colleagues, and patients, that she's in a really unstable state? As for Leah and Justin: maybe I'm behind the times, but since when was celebrating the anniversary of your proposal a thing? What next: celebrating the anniversary of booking the venue?

Key observations: Tane was annoying. Harper was annoying. Bree was annoying. I liked the scene between Alf and Perri, and glad that the latter is observing the traditional proprieties ("Mr Stewart").

Overriding thought on today's episode is... has Claudia never heard of taxis? And buses? She's acting like having a personal chauffeur is an absolute necessity of her job, and I doubt that it is. I'm sure Justin would probably be happy to reimburse her for the taxi fares until she's recovered - far cheaper than her suing the garage I'd have thought.

Not a lot to add on this one. I think Dana would definitely be doing Bree a favour to speak up to a superior; in the role she's in, the obsessive stuff is surely going to end up costing a patient highly before too long. I don't think I got off starting base with the other storylines.

Good to get a bit more insight into Claudia today, and as far as predictions go I'm edging away from villain-playing-the-long-con territory (bearing in mind too that we only had Bronte relatively recently) and towards emotional affair territory with her and Justin. Regardless of his reasons and what a hard time Claudia might be having, lying to Leah and pandering to this woman behind her back is surely not going to end well. Or maybe there'll be a double twist in the tale and Claudia will be evil after all. Reasonably intrigued to find out. Zoned out in the Mali and Kirby scenes. Not that I can put my finger on specific examples, but I get the feeling that when we touch on organ donation territory in soaps the recipient usually comes out of the woodwork at some point and starts getting stalky/overinvolved with the next of kin or vice versa. So that could be a fun avenue for Cash. (I use the word fun loosely.)

Well, I'm nowhere near interested enough in Eden to be reading her texts. But if Abby's what they say, then I guess Abby is what it should be (though I'm less concerned about the subtitles' verdict on such matters given subtitles' general track record). Quite a dramatic volte-face from her on the question of whether she'd deign to live with Mackenzie. I'm guessing that's because she fancies Mali, but we'll see. I was surprised to hear he's only done one painting, given the perennial fuss over his artwork that we've been treated to in recent weeks. Cash is definitely more bearable for someone having pointed out that it costs him nothing to treat Eden like a human being; pity it required an intervention to get there. I still think it's a nuts reason to dump somebody but hey, if this turnaround means less of him hanging around the restaurant trying to look like he knows what he's doing then, surely a win for everyone.

Yep, Abi is really not helping herself trying to make an enemy of Mack when she's already apparently enemies with the only other people she could live with - she's behaving like a stroppy 15-year-old. I really don't know what she's trying to achieve, unless the subtext is that she wants to get kicked out so she can go back to the drugs? To be honest, some tough love from Mac who never minces her words is probably just what the doctor ordered for her, but it's whether they can cohabit long enough without ripping each other's heads off to get over the bedding-in period.

I do think there's a lot of sense in Xander buying half of the business. Cash may want to protect what Felicity's built but the best way to do that is by handing the reins to someone who worked with her, knew where she wanted in the business to go and intends on honouring that, as Xander said. Rather than Cash, who knows sod-all about hospitality, stocking the fridges from the front and generally stomping around the place like a bear with a sore head. I do think he's treating Eden abysmally, to the extent that he's very successfully making me sympathise with a character I never really had much time for, and a few weeks on from Flick's death, I don't think there's any excuse for it whatsoever. Clearly he's not intelligent enough to have thought about what would happen when the results of both his pigheaded positions collide: having to work at Salt with Eden. Well, I'm sorry but it serves him right. The way he's been behaving I fully expect he'll try to get her sacked on Monday, but we'll see. I could sympathise more with Abi over her smack addiction than I can over her maintaining a bizarre grudge from her childhood against Eden's friends, so I'm hoping there's a bit more to it than that which is yet to be revealed - maybe more involving Kirby than Remi, I don't know?

Ah, the farmhouse! Thanks - I think it's maybe that they have similar-ish layouts and Tane is another one whose scenes I haven't really been tuned in for up until recently. Oh well, slowly getting a grip on things again.

Colour me confused at Tane and Perri moving into... the house I thought they already lived in. Honestly, all the sets are so bland and beige (I'm trying this new thing where I don't say that about the characters) that I can't really tell them apart at all. But I swear they were in the one with the pool. Anyway, I then spent about 20 minutes skipping back through the episode on My5 (falling into numerous ad-traps along the way) to try and work out what the heck was going on, and realised there were numerous scenes, especially involving Mali, which I hadn't even noticed. And turns out Tane did used to live there, but maybe hasn't for a while. Harper was definitely coming across a lot better today, and far from expecting Tane to bail on Perri's day in court, she actually offered to rearrange her appointment which was welcome. Yes, she could have just stopped yelling for five seconds in the first place to allow him establish this but then equally, Tane could have yelled back with the pertinent information, so... oh, well, it's sorted now. I don't blame Mackenzie for being fed up of Cash sniffing around Salt. Of course he has a right to be involved if he owns the place but he isn't going about it in the right way - they need to arrange a meeting on a day she's off work to sit down and talk things through, look at the books etc, sometime and somewhere that isn't the restaurant in the middle of the lunch rush. I find Levi so intrinsically difficult to tune into that while I was half-enjoying Mackenzie tearing strips off him, I've come away still not being sure what it's about. Getting back on this wagon is going to be harder than I thought.

Harper continues to be quite insufferable, not even letting Tane get a word in edgeways to explain why next Tuesday (or was it Thursday) was a bit tricky; it seems she's interpreted "I'll be there for you" as "you say jump, I'll ask how high" and no take-backsies. Hopefully if she had allowed him to speak she'd have been more sympathetic to the explanation, but I'm not particularly convinced of that given her recent behaviour. Isn't she meant to be a social worker, and didn't she help cook up this whole scheme that brought Perri into Tane's life in the first place? I'm not going to be impressed if she starts giving him ultimatums about who's more important. Not that Tane was without fault: he could have persevered and explained but he chose to do the ridiculous soapy thing of being needlessly vague and ploughing on with the double-booking, apparently deciding it can be a bridge he'll cross when he comes to it. Which was spineless and just playing into Harper's fantasies about being his new OTP. Ultimately while it might be nice for Tane to be at the scan, I don't think it's anything like as pressing as Perri's court appearance. It's not as if the foetus will be feeling neglected, and Harper would get over it - or could book an alternative date. Leah is going on a bit (OK, a lot), but somehow I can't help thinking that the show is likely to vindicate her in her dislike of Claudia even though she may not yet have enough evidence for that position - and I am starting to think Justin is getting over-involved in a way that's liable to backfire. Nothing of real interest going on with Mali and Kirby. I nearly fell off my chair at the Colleen Smart mention! Surprised 7 weren't worried that it would lead to its 'shiny new' Insta-loving audience turning off in their droves in sheer outrage at the mention of a character last seen more than three years ago! (Maybe since the River Boys would remember her it's okay.) But... sarcasm aside, it is actually welcome.

All new doctors. In fact, all doctors. Yes and it's a fundamentally silly question. If they were too young to be a doctor, they wouldn't be doctoring!

I do have some sympathy with Claudia, although I'd like to think I'd be slightly more gracious in her shoes - even if not with Justin and Theo, who she does have good reason to be peeved at, then certainly with Bree. OK, I understand that we the viewers are getting all the signs that Bree is going overboard with her precautionary tests in the wake of losing Felicity, but Claudia isn't to know that. Precautionary tests happen all the time in medicine, and I'm fairly sure that if I were in her shoes, I'd be grateful that the doctor thought to double-check and relieved that nothing more serious was wrong, rather than whinging that I'd had to come in because nothing untoward was found. And as for Theo, I guess I'd retort to her anger that he'd only been qualified a couple of months with, "Well, everyone's only qualified for a couple of months at some point" - except that it'd probably lead to an even lengthier rant. She is justified in feeling angry and frustrated with them, but I can't help wondering if there's more to it and if she's laying it on a bit thick to keep them creeping around her. Her injuries may be genuine but it doesn't mean she isn't going to use them to milk things beyond their worth, potentially. My soapie sixth sense is also twitching at the possibility that she's being prickly for another reason: because Justin's charm is going to wear her down and she's going to end up making a play for him. Elsewhere, Marilyn continues to circle the pregnant lady like a vulture, and John gets involved for want of any meaningful storylines of his own.

And furthermore, if Kirsty and Jade had actually been twins then they would clearly be fraternal rather than identical twins (i.e. from separate eggs), which means that even if psychic twins was a genetic phenomenon, they couldn't have it. (But Kirsty and Laura, being identical twins, might. As might Carly and Samantha.) I don't think canon records whether identical twin cousins have psychic powers, so I'm not sure whether Angie and Josie even come into this.

Does Dana have a crush on Bree or something? She seemed to be acting like she does today, but maybe that's something that's been building for while or a running joke and I haven't been paying attention? (Likely.) Anyway, I initially thought that something Bree had seen had made her think Claudia was a scammer, but it seems not only that she thinks her injuries are genuine but that they might be more serious than originally thought, which wasn't the direction I was expecting. I'm still not particularly trusting of Claudia, though, being a guest character; and I was confused as to why she accepted the courtesy car despite having just explained that she couldn't drive. The Abigail cold turkey scenes were pretty well done. Is Bree expecting Levi to account for/explain all those meds further down the line, or is she literally just letting him steal them? Also wondering whether Dana is going to fall under suspicion from other hospital staff once it's discovered that they're missing, given her history.

I did think the same at the time. But having ruminated on this a bit over the years, since 'twin telepathy' is BS anyway, I guess it might as easily be explained by environmental factors (growing up together in close proximity) as biological ones?

Really not ideal to have Theo missing in the second consecutive episode that's heavily concerned with his responsibility for a car crash - we haven't even had a reaction from him yet. Still, I guess there was plenty of other drama going on. Good to see Eden and Levi collaborating to rescue and then support Abi, I suppose, given that the last time I paid attention to their relationship she was punching him in the face. at Marilyn's antennae twitching at Tane and Harper's baby news. #SwiperNoSwiping

Oh heck, I have been bad. Thanks, this is useful information: I've had every episode on, genuinely, but it really has been a background activity for me for quite some time now, so I could give you broad plot beats of the last few months but little more. That's partly why I'm here again, to force myself into making more of an effort in the hope that I can rekindle some interest, because it's either that or giving up watching.

I was a little surprised/disappointed at Leah having to spell out to Justin that the customer might be wrong about the cause of the accident while he was preparing to throw Theo to the lions - even Justin's not normally that impetuous. And even now the inspection of the car has reinforced the case against Theo, I'm sort of suspecting that the customer is a villain and that they've swapped out the nice working components for dodgy/damaged ones in order to get a payout. But I suppose we'll see when Theo's next rostered on in an episode and can give his side of the story. Ooh, since when did Kirby work at the board shop? (Rhetorical question - I know the answer is "while I wasn't paying attention"!) Is Mali/Kirby the latest stop on the romance merry-go-round? Worse things happen at sea, I suppose. Not fully engaged with Levi and Abigail yet, but I guess if he can display a few heroics over this then it might begin to redeem him for the dreadful way he was introduced into the show. Ah, I see what you mean now. Well, yes, I do think she will be moving on with someone! But it wasn't intended as a comment on Eden's character or her relationship history - it was more a comment on "these are the rules of soap". She may not have had many relationships before Cash, and since being in the show she's been romantically preoccupied with him for most of the time, so has hardly had a chance to dally with anyone else. But now she's single, convention dictates that just when Cash is ready to come crawling back, she'll be hooking up with someone new. We saw this with Remi and Bree not so long ago and I'll be surprised if we aren't treated to the same 'twist' here.

Not in real life, obviously! But I am familiar. Not sure what point you are making, I've acknowledged I felt sorry for her and that Cash has been awful - while also acknowledging that i don't care a great deal either way what the outcome is.

Ready for a break from all the Felicity misery now, and especially from Cash and his strops; but I welcomed Gary promising he would stick around, as I like him as a character and am happy that we'll be seeing more of him. Likewise I welcomed Tane making it clear that he wants Perri to stick around too; having someone to care for has given him a bit of a fresh lease of life as a character, and hopefully that will continue when the baby arrives as well, if Harper doesn't scare Tane off by making a play for him every five seconds. But both Gary and Perri are still in the guest cast which probably means that, despite their keenness to stay in the Bay, the moratorium on permanent teen characters and/or anyone over 40 will continue unabated. Anyway: finally a bit of a change in focus tomorrow by the look of things, even if the new focus doesn't exactly look upbeat either.

Ugh, Cash was cold as ice to Eden today. OK, everyone grieves in their own way but I'd say this kind of behaviour is unusual to say the least. I didn't really agree with Gary's take that Eden should fight for him. She shouldn't be the one to keep coming grovelling; plus, reverse psychology is best in these situations. I'm sure he'll be crawling back to her within a matter of weeks, but of course by that point she'll probably have leapt on the next horse on the endless relationships merry-go-round. Money's on Xander. Oh no, he's taken. Mali? Are he and Rose on or off at the moment? I lose track. Theo and Perri bonding over their respective deadbeat dads was nice enough; but Harper continued to be rather cringe. "Alf is calling us a couple." Oh, well, best throw it on the table as an option, then. Not that Tane helped much, repeatedly ignoring the question and in a way that seemed sure to get her hopes up, whether or not it was intended that way. Very much a sidenote, but My5 was pushing a kids' show in the breaks today called 'Roo and Harper's Wonder World', and I very briefly wondered if it was an ill-advised H&A spin-off.

Back to business as usual today with lots of tedious navel-gazing from Eden and Harper, while John sticking his nose into both storylines just demonstrates how little of his own he has to do. Still, the fact that Cash's behaviour was so utterly ludicrous did help me to summon up a little sympathy for Eden. I really hope she doesn't take him back the moment he comes grovelling, as I assume he will. More of the same tomorrow, judging by the trailer.