Ailsa's intuition has very little to do with her gender, it's the nature of her character. As is in Alf's character to be very blindsided when it comes to some things, such as Roo. And if that's a little too "stereotypical" for you then all you have to do is look at the reversal of the situation with Alan, Barbara and Fisher. Fisher (THE MALE ) was in tune to Alan with his "gut instinct" where as Barbara was the opposite.
I don't think Ailsa's been "stroppy, rude, uncooperative, and generally nasty" at all. She could have stayed for the party and made a huge fuss but she didn't, she left while Alf practically demanded that she stay and do as he said. I've missed two episodes sometime last week but what I saw was her telling Alf what she thought more than fairly and then Brett riling up Alf. Telling him it was HIS house and he should able to make decisions about that solely. There is no denying Ailsa gets stuck right into Alf when they argue because she's headstrong, but are you going to ignore that he's exactly the same? I find it ridiculous that you suggest that they were wrong for getting married when they happen to "oppose" views on some things. They both need to learn to communicate much better in my opinion, rather than Ailsa just complying to what Alf thinks because he's her husband.
Roo is very much being fooled by the development and last time I checked she wasn't a guy.