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Eli

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  1. “You better not hurt my Mum!” In the glow of candlelight Jamie’s face contorted in terror as he picked up the knife and pointed the blade. The same knife, the same words his father had used all those years ago. That part was so intruiging! I want to know what happened, and the whole story behind that knife! When the thunder came, Dani screamed in terror. But there was no one to hear. I really like this part. How you get back to Dani and her feelings without really talking about it, but showing it through actions like that instead... It's just awesome! “Don’t you dare touch my son!” Kirsty pushed him back, eyes blazing with anger, standing in front of Jamie to shield him. She needed two hands to push him back, and she fell awkwardly on her ankle but she caught Scott off guard and the knife clattered to the floor. I love the way you describe Kirsty through her actions. The way she stands up to Scott and actually dares to argue with him makes her character so much stronger and better. So. In a moment it was decided. Which brother would pick up the knife. In that moment when Scott clutched the bag to his chest and stayed where he was and Kane ran inside. Oh my God, when I read that sentence all I could think was "is the chapter over already?! But I want to know more!!" I really want to know where this ends, this is such a good fic!
  2. Wow! These are just stunnylicious (MAN I love that word!!!) Especially the Sally one. And the Mattie one. And... who am I kidding? They're all great!
  3. Thanks I can definitely see what you mean. I didn't realise the last things you said until just now, but I worried about what you said about not balancing the text enough. I don't mind contructive criticism at all, it helps a lot! I was thinking a lot about the balancing, but I decided to do it this way, because if I had split it up over two chapters I would have needed yet another chapter before finishing it, and I don't want this fic to be too long. But I can see now that I should have balanced it more, the best way to do it would probably have been a longer chapters with just some short parts that weren't flashbacks. I should have known this chapter wasn't as good as the others, I've never planned as much as I did with this one About the last parts of this chapter being too brief and having too few details I agree. I even thought so when I wrote it, but I just couldn't seem to write anything about it that made sense. Thanks for the good review
  4. Thanks Is that true? If so, what happened? Another great chapter, btw. I didin't really happen on Home&Away, but we never got to hear that much about his past, so why not? An explanation of this will come in my new fic, but I can't tell too much...
  5. OH MY GOD! I'm getting way too into this fic, it's so good, and I really want to know what happens! I love the way you combine Kane&Scott's childhood with their lives now. I have to say I was a bit surprised when you actually proved Scott as "human" by talking about those pictures, but it made sense, and for a second there I almost felt sorry for him! “Don’t think for one second I’m afraid of you. Hurt us and you’ll have Kane to answer to,” Kirsty replied levelly. I can imagine Kirsty saying that, staying strong even in a difficult situation. “Gus sounds like a ******* cat!” Di said. “I prefer Richie.” I loved that part! Also the explanation was really good, especially the way you managed to drag Scott into it by saying that his full name was Scott Augustus Phillips. Again, great writing (I'm really just repeating myself when I'm writing these reviews) and I can't wait to see what happens!
  6. OH MY GOD!!! I read chapter 10 and 11 now, and you are getting me so into the story I actually find myself thinking what I want to happen (especially at the Dani/Melanie part) Maybe Kane wasn’t a bad person, but violence was bred in him from childhood. All it took was for him to start drinking like his father had done and he wouldn’t be able to help himself. If only Kirsty had listened. If only she’d seen that this way there would be no messy court case, no ill feelings. They’d never stop Jamie from seeing his Dad, there’d be regular supervised visits. It would all be so civilized. But Kirsty had looked at them like they hated her. So hurt, so bewildered. I really liked this part. I'm really glad that you brought up that Shelley and Rhys don't think Kane is evil, as they are still humans! The Pekinese looked totally unconvinced. The old lady’s heart flipped. The story sounded incredibly far-fetched, but she couldn’t believe anyone with such beautiful blue sparkling eyes was ever capable of lying. I could totally picture that scene! And the way you describe Kane's strong feelings for Kirsty, even when they were kids. This is so good!
  7. Thanks for the comments I don't think getting into that storyline in this fic would be a good idea as I haven't seen it yet, and hove absolutely no clue what it's about But if I like it, I will probably make something on it later. I love writing about Ric, he and Jade is like my favourite characters (not counting VJ and Pippa as their characters as I write them is completely made up) to write about.
  8. I installed eveything... Or at least I thought I did. I'll try fixing it tomorrow. I should go to bed now as I have to get up again and go to school and later work in less than 7 hours... ...But talking to people is so much more fun than sleeping...
  9. I'm sorry if this is the wrong place, but I thought I'd ask here instead of starting a new thread: I reinstalled Office (I use Windows XP) a month or so ago and for some reason the spelling check wasn't installed. I need Norwegian, and English spelling control and English Grammar control. How do I install this? I still have the Office CD, but I don't need to install everything, just those applications.
  10. I found out that by accident when I suddenly quoted a funny post from the Australian discussion at the beginning of one of my fanfic chapters
  11. Kirsty closed the mobile, frowning. Her heart was aching for Kane. She didn't know if she would ever bring herself to tell him of her family wanting to take Kirsty and Jamie away from him when they were all he had in the world. I feel so sorry for Kane! And for Melanie too, I really truly HATE Scott Phillips! Usually I try to see a postive side in everyone for example I liked Sarah Lewis and Angie Russell and felt sorry for them, but I'm sorry, there's NOTHING I like about him. He's pure evil! I'm so glad Melanie is leaving him, but I'm really worried about Kane Please update very soon, I'm dying to read more!
  12. Thanks for all the nice reviews everyone ILM: Actually it was on purpose that I didn't put that line as the last line. Not only do I feel like I have had dramatic endings like that on very many chapters now, but also it was because that actually happened in an episode (the line shocked me when it first came, so I know what you mean!) so it really wouldn't be that breathtaking for the readers who have seen the episode and knew what was about to happen. And also I wanted to end with the conclusion that Flynn cared because I have used that as kind of a point I keep getting back to through the entire story. The paragraps (and this chapter and fic in general) focuses very much on Dalby trusting Flynn and wondering if he has given up, so I wanted it to end with Dalby realising he maybe hasn't given up yet. emmasi: It's not just a happy accident anymore, but it was. I can see that when I'm re-reading, because I started out like I usually do when I write fics like this: I have a storyline that really happened and then I change it while I'm digging deeper in to it along the way. The main difference you can see from where it wasn't planned and where I started focusing on his different feelings and how he acts around different people is which name I use. I hate myself for not thinking about it when I started to write this fic, because in the first chapters I refer to him as "Ric" no matter what situation (not in quotes from Owen, where I thankgod wrote "Eric") but in the later chapters you might have noticed that when it's what presently going on he's Ric, and when it's past he's either Eric or Dalby, like it originally was. I also hate myself for not being more careful with use of italics and paragraphs in all chapters, but I don't wanna go back and change all that now, that's just gonna mess up. At the moment I'm thinking one more chapter (but it could be two). As I have enjoyed writing this fic I'm thinking of writing more fics about this part of Ric's life, including one going deeper in to his life at home, so look out for oneshots and long fics about Ric and his life when this one is finished
  13. Since there are so many talented artists here I was wondering if anyone could make me a desktop of Ryan Kwanten? Here's a bunch of pics you can use: Thanks in advance!
  14. First of all, thanks Kirsty shook her head, looking round at her family through a mist of tears. "It's Kane's birthday today. I thought...I thought you'd got him a birthday present and that's why you called me here. But nothing's changed, has it? Nothing at all. You'll never believe Kane would never hurt us. You'll never forgive him for that one terrible thing he did." Loved this part, you really write in a way that could have happened on TV. The conversations are so good, and you don't change the things that never can change just to make it easier to write the story! The last glimpse of a family who would never understand. I really loved that sentence, it makes me angry how the Sutherlnads (and especially Jade) doesn't understand! I want more! I want more! Please update soon!
  15. Thanks you for all the nice comments, they are muchly appreciated! I will try to update either tonight or tomorrow.
  16. Thanks I actually "cheated" a bit with those flashbacks. I wanted the conversation to be as correct as possible, so I watched the episode...
  17. "Rather be out in the bush eating burnt sausages and drinking stewed tea out of a billy can," Tasha said honestly, in one of her usual disarming statements. Haha, I loved that sentence, I could hear Tasha saying it! "You said..." Jamie looked puzzled, then decided Mum must have changed her mind and realised he was right all along. The shout came from his stomach. His loudest effort yet. After all, Annietash was at the other side of the world. "SEEEE YAAAAA, ANNIETAAAAAAAASH!!!!!!" "J, I thought I explained to you..." "You're gonna make some teacher!" Kane teased, laughing. This too was really funny. You make it so much more interesting to read by adding these funny conversations. It makes it even more realistic! He closed his eyes and drifted into a wonderful dream of chocolate as his father tenderly carried him to his room and tucked him back in bed. Awww, that is just so sweet! Melanie was working hard at keeping Scott sweet. Is it wrong of me to actually like Melanie? I feel so sorry for her having to live with Scott! Another great update, and this is just getting better and better. I can't wait to see what happens, it seems like everyone is after Kane at the moment!
  18. I agree. Photoshop is easier, better and more advanced. I have used both programs, and I like Photoshop way better that PSP.
  19. Great chapter! I really don't like what Shelley and Rhys is planning, I hope they don't take Jamie away from Kirsty and Kane! "It's not Lily. Stay out of it, Jess." Kane spoke through clenched teeth. He couldn't bring himself to use their little girl as an excuse. Their loss was so raw, their hearts so empty. Great paragraph, I can't wait to read more!!
  20. Thank you both I'm really flattered, I actually made you cry?
  21. These are just stunnylicious
  22. Again a very good chapter, and I can't wait to see where this goes! "So it's a ******* beach. Life's a ******* beach." Scott guffawed loudly at his own wit. I liked this sentence, it's easy to picture how Scott Phillips is when I read your stories. The comment, and the way he's laughing at his own joke makes it really good. "Looks like you ate heaps too, matey," Kirsty said, shaking her head at the mess as she sat on the bed beside him Jamie's birthday gift to his Dad looked more like a death threat. Their childhood home probably still bore the mark from the squirty bottle on an upstairs ceiling and neither of them had touched Tabasco sauce since. These three sentences were great, they all made me smile. Really well written, especially the way you can write a sentence without giving away the point before you actually get to it. Dani squeezed Jade's arm. "Jade and I grew up together, Mrs Smart. We're sisters and we'll always be sisters." This sentence actually made me annyoyed, not because it's a bad sentence or anything, it's just that it's so close to a sentence I was thinking of using as an important part of my own fic, Sisters. But well written, and really paiting a picture of the strong relationship between Dani and Jade. All over very well written, and probably one of the best fics I have ever read. Please update soon!
  23. Thanks
  24. No problem
  25. How's this?
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