You're Beautiful

[AngelRose]

Type of story: One shot song fic

Main Characters: Jack & Martha

BTTB rating: G

Does story include spoilers: No

Is story being proof read: Unknown

Any warnings: No

summary: Jack's feelings after J&M first met at Robbie and Tasha's housewarming party.

(From example 1)

YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL

You’re Beautiful

By James Blunt

My life is brilliant.

My love is pure.

I saw an angel.

Of that I'm sure.

She smiled at me on the subway.

She was with another man.

But I won't lose no sleep on that,

'Cause I've got a plan.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.

You're beautiful, it's true.

I saw you face in a crowded place,

And I don't know what to do,

'Cause I'll never be with you.

Yeah, she caught my eye,

As we walked on by.

She could see from my face that I was,

******* high,

And I don't think that I'll see her again,

But we shared a moment that will last till the end.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.

You're beautiful, it's true.

I saw you face in a crowded place,

And I don't know what to do,

'Cause I'll never be with you.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.

You're beautiful, it's true.

There must be an angel with a smile on her face,

When she thought up that I should be with you.

But it's time to face the truth,

I will never be with you.

WHY tonight? Why THIS call? Why THIS party? I forgot; I don’t think I’ve ever done that before. Not since the night at the store, not since Emily Chambers, not since the night I became a killer. Ok, maybe I’m not a murderer (Dad & Luc have FINALLY convinced me of that), but the fact remains – I am and always will be, a killer. I ended someone’s life.

And yet, for a minute back there I forgot. For a minute I was JUST Jack Holden again. My name had no stupid tabloid tag-line, no ‘Jack Holden – Killer Cop’. And why did I forget? A girl – ok a beautiful girl, but a girl who hates cops anyway, even normal ones, never mind what I am!

She was stunning though (surely I can allow myself just that thought?), and feisty too. She sure gave a piece of her mind! I suppose whoever rang us was being a bit of a stuffed-shirt, the music wasn’t THAT loud; though I guess it might seem it in a sleepy little place like this.

Snap yourself out of it Jack, remember why you came here; remember what you are. You came here to this ‘sleepy little place’ to buy a bit more time; maybe a few weeks, or if I’m lucky a couple of precious months of ‘normality’ for Dad and Luc (God knows, they deserve it) before Harry Chambers tracks us down again.

You KNOW you can't do this; you know you can't relax! Never let anyone in! That’s how Chambers tracks you, how he hunts you down.

Ok, so what if she was Supermodel gorgeous?! So what if she looked amazing in that dress?! It doesn’t matter. Even if you DID ever see her again or find somewhere to start over, romance is for Dad, and someday Luc, now; you took the chance of that from yourself the night you took everything from Emily.

God, I’m glad Corey’s driving. My head’s a mess! Corey seems ok, maybe he’d understand? After all, he a cop to. He was trained the way I was. But no, I can't drag it all up again; it’ll come out soon enough. For now I need a break from the looks, the whispers, the ‘you were only doing your job’ buts…

It would be great to see Luc make it through more than one term at the same school. It would do him so much good; stop the poor kid jumping at his own shadow. He’s caught that from me, I must be more careful about letting him see it.

As for Dad, well he’ll support me as always, and I love him for it but I just wish he didn’t have to. I mean how many guys my age wake up from nightmare screaming for their father?! I’ll tell you how many, 1, ME! How is he ever supposed to move on with me acting like a baby? Trouble is, the nightmares always become JUST bearable again, we’re moving on and the night terrors are worse than ever.

What I wouldn’t give for a night where I didn’t see a loop of the shootings in my head. A night of nothingness, a night with no ‘sick DVD recording’ replaying itself over and over would be wonderful. A dream, a normal dream would be bliss!

If I could choose a dream, just once, what would I choose? A dream of Mum perhaps? A rugby match with Dad & Luc? Just a place? The Supermodel? WOAH! Where the HELL did THAT thought come from?!

You saw one pretty girl (and a hostile one at that!) and now you’re dreaming of dreaming of her?! Pull yourself together Holden! Don’t go there! It’s not like you haven’t seen a pretty girl since… There’d been eye-catchers in the other towns if you’d been looking, but you weren’t; you can't now.

Still, I can't expect Dad and Luc to run forever; they’re tired, I see it in them, but I can't run alone. Can I risk staying? Is it time to face up to what I’ve done? I don’t know; all I DO know is as of half an hour ago staying or going has become a choice.

(With thanks to James Blunt for the inspiration)

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