MarMar Posted July 10, 2006 Report Posted July 10, 2006 I've been living with depression and suicidal thoughts since I was 8. I function. I talk to my boyfriend about it, and he supports me whatever I choose to do. Problem is, I'm so used to being like this that I'm afraid of change.
buffygirl Posted July 10, 2006 Report Posted July 10, 2006 Thanks for all good advice, but it seems that some (not necessarily the people who have posted here tonight) think that when someone says they're depressed,, they're nothing more but a little bummed out. When I say depressed I mean depressed, as in not getting up in the morning, suicidal thoughts etc. A lot of people say they are often feeling depressed, when it accutal fact there are just low in mood or stressed. Depression as to what Mar said is there it's when you can't get out of bed, have negative thoughts, live's not gonna get better hence suicidal thoughts.
Maaike Posted July 10, 2006 Report Posted July 10, 2006 Maybe the most important thing is that you always got through it in a positive way. But I can understand you see that as crap now, because maybe you just don't want to be ok, although I still believe that's the main thing. I totally understand that you live your life normal with these periods of depression, it's not because you have a lot of periods of emotional instability (may I call it that way?) that you can't function. But maybe you have to ask yourself WHY this is coming back. Are there circumstances or other things that are related to this emotions that make you feel this way? And off course you are scared of change if this has been such a huge part of you life so far. But change can be positive as well. If it goes on like this, it might end up badly one day. On the other hand, like I said, you always got through it. So why wouldn't you this time? If you have accepted that it's a part of your life, maybe you can live with it like you've done so far. I just think the negative feelings shouldn't get the overhand. Pff, I don't think this is helping you. Like I said, I don't have experience with it, and maybe I'm just making things worse. I just hope that you're going to be ok.
MarMar Posted July 10, 2006 Report Posted July 10, 2006 Exactly, but the constant mis-use of the word is why people don't recognize that I, and other members, are actually depressed and not depressed which annoys me more than a little bit as I am not taken "serioualy" when I talk about it.
buffygirl Posted July 10, 2006 Report Posted July 10, 2006 Introduction We all feel fed up, miserable or sad at times. These feelings don't usually last longer than a week or two, and they don't interfere too much with our lives. Sometimes there's a reason, sometimes they just come out of the blue. We usually cope with them ourselves. We may have a chat with a friend but don't otherwise need any help. Someone is said to be significantly depressed, or suffering from depression, when: * their feelings of depression don't go away quickly and * they are so bad that they interfere with their everyday life. What does it feel like to be depressed? The feeling of depression is much more powerful and unpleasant than the short episodes of unhappiness that we all experience from time to time. It goes on for much longer. It can last for months rather than days or weeks. Most people with depression will not have all the symptoms listed here, but most will have at least five or six. You: What does it feel like to be depressed? * feel unhappy most of the time (but may feel a little better in the evenings) * lose interest in life and can't enjoy anything * find it harder to make decisions * can't cope with things that you used to * feel utterly tired * feel restless and agitated * lose appetite and weight (some people find they do the reverse and put on weight) * take 1-2 hours to get off to sleep, and then wake up earlier than usual * lose interest in sex * lose your self-confidence * feel useless, inadequate and hopeless * avoid other people * feel irritable * feel worse at a particular time each day, usually in the morning * think of suicide. We may not realise how depressed we are, because it has come on so gradually. We may be determined to struggle on and can blame ourselves for being lazy or feeble. Other people may need to persuade us that it is not a sign of weakness to seek help. We may try to cope with our feelings of depression by being very busy. This can make us even more stressed and exhausted. We will often notice physical pains, constant headaches or sleeplessness. Sometimes these physical symptoms can be the first sign of a depression. [Top of page] Why does it happen? As in the everyday depression that we all experience from time to time, there will sometimes be an obvious reason for becoming depressed, sometimes not. There is usually more than one reason, and these are different for different people. The reason may seem obvious. It can be a disappointment, frustration, losing something or someone important. Sometimes it isn't clear why we feel depressed. We're just 'in a mood', 'have got the hump', 'feel blue,' 'got out of bed the wrong side'. We really don't know why. Either way, these feelings can become so bad that we need help. Things that happen in our lives It is normal to feel depressed after a distressing event, such as bereavement, a divorce or losing a job. We may spend time over the next few weeks or months thinking and talking about it. After a while we seem to come to terms with what's happened. But some of us get stuck in a depressed mood, which doesn't seem to lift. Circumstances If we are alone, have no friends around, are stressed, have other worries or are physically run down, we are more likely to become depressed. Physical Illness Depression often strikes when we are physically ill. This is true for life-threatening illnesses such as cancer and heart disease, but also for illnesses that are long and uncomfortable or painful, like arthritis or bronchitis. Younger people may become depressed after viral infections, like ‘flu' or glandular fever. Personality Anyone can become depressed, but some of us seem to be more likely to than others. This may be because of the particular make-up of our body, because of experiences early in our life, or both. Alcohol Many people who drink too much alcohol become depressed. It often isn't clear as to which came first – the drinking or the depression. We know that people who drink too much are more likely to kill themselves than other people. Gender Women seem to get depressed more than men do. This is possibly because men are less likely to admit their feelings, bottle them up or express them in aggression or through drinking heavily. Women may be more likely to have the double stress of having to work and, at the same time, look after children. Genes Depression can run in families. If you have one parent who has become severely depressed, then you are about eight times more likely to become depressed yourself. What about manic depression? What about manic depression? About 1 in 10 people who suffer from serious depression will also have periods when they are elated and overactive. This used to be called Manic Depression, but is now often called Bipolar Affective Disorder. It affects the same number of men and women and tends to run in families. See Help is at Hand leaflet on Manic Depression). Isn't depression just a form of weakness? It can seem to other people that a person with depression has just 'given in', as if they have a choice in the matter. The fact is, there comes a point at which depression is much more like an illness than anything else. It can happen to the most determined of people, and calls for help, not criticism. It is not a sign of weakness – even powerful personalities can experience deep depression. Winston Churchill called it his ‘black dog'. When should I seek help * When your feelings of depression are worse than usual, and don't seem to get any better. * When your feelings of depression affect your work, interests and feelings towards your family and friends. * If you find yourself feeling that life is not worth living, or that other people would be better off without you. It may be enough to talk things over with a relative or friend, who may be able to help you through a bad patch in your life. If this doesn't seem to help, you probably need to talk it over with your family doctor. You may find that your friends and family notice a difference in you and are worried about you. " Thought i'd post this so we all get a better understanding of what depression is, "it's a mental illness
MarMar Posted July 10, 2006 Report Posted July 10, 2006 You are indeed making sense. I don't really know what triggers it, it just does. Today it was a comment that was completely uncalled for at another forum, but at the same time something which is not worth the energy it takes to dwell on it.
Maaike Posted July 10, 2006 Report Posted July 10, 2006 I don't understand completely what you are trying to say, MG.
Maaike Posted July 10, 2006 Report Posted July 10, 2006 Forget what I said about not understanding it, I can see it now.
MarMar Posted July 10, 2006 Report Posted July 10, 2006 My symptoms in bold. * feel unhappy most of the time (but may feel a little better in the evenings) * lose interest in life and can't enjoy anything * find it harder to make decisions * can't cope with things that you used to * feel utterly tired * feel restless and agitated * lose appetite and weight (some people find they do the reverse and put on weight) * take 1-2 hours to get off to sleep, and then wake up earlier than usual * lose interest in sex * lose your self-confidence * feel useless, inadequate and hopeless * avoid other people * feel irritable * feel worse at a particular time each day, usually in the morning * think of suicide. Lately I have stopped eating. I have had a bout with some kind of eating disorder (not too serious, but still enough to get people to notice it) before. I also have almost completely stopped sleeping at night. I'm up to 2am and wake up at 4am.. Am awake for an hour or three and then sleep the day away.
Maaike Posted July 10, 2006 Report Posted July 10, 2006 You are indeed making sense. I don't really know what triggers it, it just does. Today it was a comment that was completely uncalled for at another forum, but at the same time something which is not worth the energy it takes to dwell on it. Maybe it was just that comment that put you over the hedge. It's not just the comment, but a lot of other things that have been already going on in your mind, and something that someone might say or do, just causes an outburst of negativity. As for the symptoms: shouldn't you look for professional help? Or do you feel like that's not going to work at all?
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