MarMar Posted September 27, 2006 Report Posted September 27, 2006 Isn't frienship a good way of starting a relationship. Current relationship has lasted over 3 years and when we're both really run down, tired and sick of it all, it's that we're friends that keeps us working through it. You can't be lovers/in a relationship if you're not friends. But, I see what you mean - what will happen if you break up etc? Gah.... Tought break.
Jess Posted September 27, 2006 Report Posted September 27, 2006 Yeah, it's the break up or the fear of him not feeling the same way - then things would be way weird, and as well as a potential boyfriend, I would've lost a really good friend.
MarMar Posted September 27, 2006 Report Posted September 27, 2006 Hmmm... do you have any reason to indicate that he is indeed interested... or not interested?
Loz Posted September 27, 2006 Report Posted September 27, 2006 Okay...do you girlies think that romantic relationships can work if you're already really, really good friends with the person? I'm so confused! Yes, they *can*. I'm not saying they *will*, but I think it's a definite possibility. I fell in love with my best friend, and our relationship is great despite about a million different pressures. I agree with Mercury Girl that the friendship can actually help, but what I would add is that if you're getting into a relationship with a friend, you should make sure to maintain your other friendships. What I find is that when things are difficult with my partner, I get this urge to turn to my best friend for support... and oops, they're the same person. Good in some ways, but on the other hand it would be better to have a second best friend to offload to in times of trauma! The other weird thing is going from friends to lovers in the first place. You want to get it on with each other, but then on the other hand.... oh my god... you're going to see a good friend totally naked. I have to confess I found alcohol helped.
Jess Posted September 27, 2006 Report Posted September 27, 2006 I have both. Okay....he's an incredibly shy guy and has never had a proper girlfriend, so I'm thinking that even if he likes me, he might be too afraid to take it further, if you get what I mean. Over the summer he admitted to one of my friends that he liked me - but I don't think he ever expected me to like him back in *that* way, we're so incredibly close as friends. Hence, there's a lot of flirting between us, but I never know with him if it's just a case of being friendly, or whether he's trying to tell me something. He tells me he loves me, he misses me, I'm pretty, etc. But I never know if he's being romantic, and I'm scared of "getting the wrong end of the stick" so to speak, in case it f**ks everything up. Loz: Yeah...I have a lot of other friends too, although I admit they'd probably be pretty gobsmacked if they found out we were romantically linked - I guess I'd just have to cross that bridge when I come to it. Lol, the thought of the transition - I guess it would be pretty awkward at first, but I'm sure I'd soon get used to it. I guess I'm just petrified of the whole thing going horribly wrong.
MarMar Posted September 27, 2006 Report Posted September 27, 2006 Okay...do you girlies think that romantic relationships can work if you're already really, really good friends with the person? I'm so confused! Yes, they *can*. I'm not saying they *will*, but I think it's a definite possibility. I fell in love with my best friend, and our relationship is great despite about a million different pressures. I agree with Mercury Girl that the friendship can actually help, but what I would add is that if you're getting into a relationship with a friend, you should make sure to maintain your other friendships. What I find is that when things are difficult with my partner, I get this urge to turn to my best friend for support... and oops, they're the same person. Good in some ways, but on the other hand it would be better to have a second best friend to offload to in times of trauma! The other weird thing is going from friends to lovers in the first place. You want to get it on with each other, but then on the other hand.... oh my god... you're going to see a good friend totally naked. I have to confess I found alcohol helped. I totally get you!
Loz Posted September 27, 2006 Report Posted September 27, 2006 Loz: Yeah...I have a lot of other friends too, although I admit they'd probably be pretty gobsmacked if they found out we were romantically linked - I guess I'd just have to cross that bridge when I come to it. Lol, the thought of the transition - I guess it would be pretty awkward at first, but I'm sure I'd soon get used to it. Lol, I guess you would. If you're sure you like him in *that* way, go for it!! I think if you have a shot at finding 'the one' (or one of the 'ones'!) you should take it. Besides, if it doesn't work out, you said yourself... you have a lot of other friends.
Loz Posted September 27, 2006 Report Posted September 27, 2006 I totally get you! Difficult, isn't it?! You want the support your best friend would give, but being completely open with them causes your *partner* pain... Or you're arguing with your partner, so they're not always ready to snap into 'best friend' mode. It's so hard. I think eventually you have to draw a line and decide there's some 'best friend' territory that strains your relationship as lovers too far. But I haven't quite come to terms with that yet.
Jackieleanne Posted September 27, 2006 Report Posted September 27, 2006 You know how I feel about this Jess, its a tough choice I know you fear about what happens if you break up would it spoil the friendship you once had but all I can say is if it is tearing you up so badly then just follow your heart especially as you have the indication that he likes you as more than just a friend. Let things happen naturally take things slowly but I do think you should find the courage if its what your heart is telling you to do. If I hadn't of done the same I wouldn't be with Aaron now.
katya Posted September 27, 2006 Report Posted September 27, 2006 Aaron from this site? If you don't mind me asking
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