Girls Room

[claire_louise]

Nawww, good for you.

I can see you lurking, Dan!

[emzyflower]

I need some advice

I moved house alot when I was younger however I kept one real close friend throughout my childhood. We go to different universities, and this year she came to visit me and ended up going out with my boyfriends housemate. This guy seemed alright to me so I encouraged her to go with it as they have alot in common. Anyhow this guy cheated on her with another girl, and then told her the next day that she had come onto him and it was only one kiss (though a lot of people were at this party and said there was more going on all night). Nobody wanted to tell her that, but I did. She is one of the closest friends I have. She did listen to me and we were having the girly conversations about the whole situation. I questioned her decision on staying with this guy ( I dont agree that she should, considering she sees him more in the holidays than during term time, and hes a complete flirt that doesnt know when to stop, however I can see that she is totally besotted with him and he is only her second ever boyfriend) and she went completely mad at me. I told her that I didnt want to discuss it since we would end up arguing the same thing over and over and I didnt want to ruin our friendship. However she took it that I didnt care and didnt ever want her to speak of her boyfriend again and sent me a barrage of abuse about the past 13 years of my life and all the boyfriends I have been out with. Unfortunatly I was in a rage and sent mails back arguing her points. In hindsight I should have left her to calm down and then we would prob still be friends. To cut a long story short neither of us have been talking for 2 months and its killing me. She refused to turn up to any of my house parties and even my birthday party which Id invited her and although is online all the time never speaks to me. Im upset that 14years of friendship has come to falling out over men...something we always swore would never happen

ps I am sorry its a huge essay haha

[claire_louise]

Emzy, I can see why you're upset and it's good that you can acknowledge your part in the argument. However, I do think that it was quite stubborn and rude of her to refuse your invitations when you were obviously trying to make an effort, so if I was you I wouldn't get down on my hands and knees and beg for her friendship. How about writing her a letter or an email just telling her that you value her friendship and that you were only ever looking out for her best interests? Don't beg forgiveness or anything, just say that you're sorry if she took anything you said or did the wrong way, and leave it to her to respond. That's what I'd do anyway.

[Guest]

Me bored anyways I WANT TYRONE AND MAX!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Ashirr-Leigh]

Emzy, I think that's really good advice that Claire gave you.

You've already made the first step by inviting this girl to your parties and things, if she's not willing to take you up on those invitations then there's not much more that you can do. Just be prepared to be there for her if/when her relationship goes wrong!

I've got a bit of a problem with my friend Michelle. I'd consider her one of my best friends.. anyway! Earlier on this year, I fell out with a friend of mine over a boy. Stupid, I know, but I don't think we could have resolved it. I had a sort of bad break up with a guy I was seeing and two weeks later, she started dating him. She expected me to be ok with it all of a sudden and I couldn't do it, so we're no longer friends. It's sad but yeah, couldn't be helped I don't think. Anyway, the friend I was talking about at the beginning of this paragraph, Michelle, she only met the other girl through me and even at that, it was only a small number of times. Now I've found out that she still contacts her and talks to her and arranges to meet up with her and things. It's stupid because I have no right whatsoever to tell Michelle not to talk to this other girl but I just feel kinda hurt that she'd want to, you know? They weren't friends in the first place really..

I've not said anything to Michelle and I doubt I will do because it's not my business and I don't want to end up losing another friend but I just wanted to know, do you guys think I'm being unreasonable?

[claire_louise]

Here I am giving my two-pence worth again!

Ash, I really empathise with you as I've been in a similar situation myself and I know how much it sucks. But sadly, to everyone who doesn't know how it feels it will probably look like you're being a bit unreasonable. In my case, I found it really hard when a friend of mine got close to an ex-friend of mine (they met through me, as in your situation), as I couldn't understand why she'd want to be friends with this girl after all the horrible things she'd done to me. In the end I had to be honest about how I felt (I'm terrible at hiding my feelings), which resulted in a horrible fall-out between me and my friend, who quite rightly felt that I had no right to tell her who she could and couldn't be mates with. Eventually, though, she realised what this girl was really like and their friendship fizzled out. So the best advice I can give is just to try to accept it as much as you can, and hope that they eventually drift apart - which I'm sure they will if your ex-friend really isn't a nice person.

Hope that helps, even a little bit!

[Liz]

Personally, I don't think that you're being unreasonable, because I'm a big believer in the philosophy of, "If it matters to you, it matters". However, I think you'll probably find the general consensus to be a little less understanding. Certainly don't beat yourself up about feeling that way, please.

[Guest]

I know this guy Trent and he's my friend but we never use to talk to each other and now he says hi to me every day and well I sometimes say hi back

Are we just friends?

[Mez83]

Sounds like nothing more than friends to me.

[-Emily-]

Yeah;; - Boys say hi to me all the time, unless he`s flirting