Loz Posted March 11, 2006 Report Posted March 11, 2006 It's a pity that - particularly in certain cultures - society and individuals are so quick to 'label' what they are doing, feeling or witnessing. We are individuals. not labels. However, equally so, there's no reason we shouldn't categorise ourselves within a certain 'label' or identity if we feel comfortable with that - and I think there is sometimes a danger of being too 'right on' or 'politically correct'. That's exactly what I think. I have this ongoing minor argument with my mother about how I categorise people's sexualities. She thinks people are either gay or straight. She accepts the term bisexual for people who swing both ways, but clearly thinks they just haven't made their minds up. So she'll ask me the sexuality of a particular friend and I'll sum it up however seems the most appropriate... 'He's mostly gay', 'She's almost entirely straight', 'She's only been with guys but fancies some women too'. And it drives my mother nuts. She calls me gay if it comes up in conversation, because I'm in a same-sex relationship at the moment. And if I'm ever in a relationship with a guy again (which is unlikely 'cause this one's for keeps) she'll call me straight. I find it hilarious. Oh and Si-Co, I think I did know that about you before. I think you've made jokey references, and I always take jokey references as basically true.
Si-Co Posted March 11, 2006 Report Posted March 11, 2006 I definitely see your point, but it's still why I don't label myself as bisexual/lesbian - I have never been in a relationship with a person of the same sex, and I am happy to be classified as "heterosexual" if that's how people conceive me, because I'm in a heterosexual relationship. But, at the same time, if I were to label myself as bi, I think I would feel obliged to "prove" it, if you understand what I'm trying to say? Yes, I take your point, although personally I see sexuality as being as much about your feelings (or fantasies, if you like) than about what you actually do. Sexuality, in a lot of ways, is more of a spectrum than about being 'straight', 'gay', '50/50 bisexual'. Although if someone is attracted to their own sex (whether very occasionally or quite often) but is quite happy and contented having only heterosexual experiences, then I see no harm in them defining themselves as 'straight'. There are people who believe that same-sex experiences and/or feelings are very common, and are just part of being an individual who is comfortable with their sexuality, or sexuality in general. However, the average bloke down the pub isn't going to admit he is 'sort of' attracted to Brad Pitt or really enjoyed some mutual j/o sessions with his mate when he was 15. Society doesn't generally see that as acceptable, or would be too quick to throw a 'label' at him. I guess it's the same for women, although perhaps it is seen as more acceptable, eg. many blokes love the idea of 'straight girls lezzing up' with each other because it turns them on.
MarMar Posted March 11, 2006 Report Posted March 11, 2006 It's definitely more acceptable for women. Just take this example; It's perfectly OK (I think. Have heard of cases where this is true), that men can sit and watch a pr0n-movie together in which two or more women are at it, but it's not acceptable for women to do the same, the other way around. Women are still not expected to watch "those kind of movies", although it happens. Very often so. I only found out about a month ago that another girl I know online gets turned on by gay-sex the same way as I do, and we have shared some conversations about this - but it would much likely not happen in real life, although I know other girls who fancy that as well. We don't talk about it the same way I have done with the girl online. Guess the whole "hiding behind a screen" certainly helps.
Si-Co Posted March 11, 2006 Report Posted March 11, 2006 Oh and Si-Co, I think I did know that about you before. I think you've made jokey references, and I always take jokey references as basically true. Well, they were in my case! I have a male friend who I'm convinced is gay/bi/bi-curious - to use those old labels again - partly because of jokes he makes, but there are other factors. However, he's in a long-term relationship with a girl. Will be interesting to see how things pan out though!
Si-Co Posted March 15, 2006 Report Posted March 15, 2006 Hey, this thread is falling by the wayside!!
MarMar Posted March 15, 2006 Report Posted March 15, 2006 Yes. I scared everyone away with my fatasies.
Pierced Musie Posted March 15, 2006 Report Posted March 15, 2006 I'm too afraid to come in here and talk. I prefer the girls room at the moment
Si-Co Posted March 15, 2006 Report Posted March 15, 2006 Yes. I scared everyone away with my fatasies. If I'd mentioned my fantasies, not only the thread but the forum would have been closed.. permanently!
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