The Rainbow Room

[TabbyCool]

Good points from both sides of the argument really. Yes, gay/bi people are human just like straight people, we all have the same basic needs and urges, only some people do it with members of their own sex rather than the opposite sex.

On the other hand, as Mar pointed out, gay people are discriminated against for being gay. Many religions see homosexuality as a sin, in some countries homosexuality is illegal, whereas none of this prejudice works the other way since being straight is seen as being "normal" since most people are heterosexual. Anyone in a minority group of any kind probably feels the need to be accepted for who they are. Not just gay people, but people of different races, religions or different backgrounds. Even people of different genders in some circumstances, as in certain countries and religions, women are treat as second class citizens.

So yeah, we are all basically the same, but we have our differences and sometimes it's nice to talk to people in similar situations.

[MarMar]

You said it better than me.. Was tired this morning. Thanks.

[Ryan]

There was a straight thread, made by TheMaster. However this was turned into the Blokes Thread which allows gays.

I'm in the most discriminated group, the majority in everything, who get a second hand deal to appease the minorities.

If me and woman and two gays went to adopt the baby, then the baby would probably go to the two gays otherwise they'll be called homophobic.

If I go against a woman for a job, they need to employ enough woman otherwise they are sexist.

Same with racism etc etc.

Yes, woe betide me. Anyway, I'm going to quickly get out of this thread as I don't belong here.

[Si-Co]

There was a straight thread, made by TheMaster. However this was turned into the Blokes Thread which allows gays.

In fairness, The Girls Room always allowed guys, and the 'Rainbow Room' was never exclusively for non-heterosexuals (best word I can think of rather than writing a list as long as my arm!)

I'm in the most discriminated group, the majority in everything, who get a second hand deal to appease the minorities.

If me and woman and two gays went to adopt the baby, then the baby would probably go to the two gays otherwise they'll be called homophobic.

If I go against a woman for a job, they need to employ enough woman otherwise they are sexist.

Same with racism etc etc.

I do see the point you are making Ryan. People should get a job, etc on their merits. Their sex/ sexuality/colour etc should not be a factor. Personally, it annoys me that some companies have a 'quota' system for employees (ie. at least 20% must be non-Caucasian, etc). I guess it's to ensure equal rights, but is it really necessary?

Anyway, I'm going to quickly get out of this thread as I don't belong here.

Come to the dark side, baby! *wink*

[Attismum]

I don't for a second think there should be a straight thread, it seems just as daft. There are plenty things in my life that make me different from the supposed norm. It doesn't mean I feel I have to band together with others like me, everyone's like me.

We're all in more than one defined group already race/sex/religion/age/nationality/class. Those can then be nit-picked into a million smaller groups. If we really do want to all be accepted for who we are then we need to accept that sorting ourselves into niches only divides us further. My sex is not me, anything resulting from my sex is not me. I like just being part of the melting pot (mushy I know but I'm not new age, just fed up with the old age).

We come together because of a shared interest, someone further up suggested that talking about being gay was like sharing an interest in knitting. That, to me, sounds practically phobic. My sexuality is not an interest or a lifestyle, it's just the way my brain is wired. It's no more an interest than my colour.

Some of the following are my interests, some is personal information. You are free to judge me on my beliefs and my interests but not on anything my body decided on before I was even born.

I'm female - white (well blue, see nationality) - Scottish (Australian/Irish/English in small percentages) - 26 - slim (eat loads of cakes) - red/blonde - blue eyes - have extremely rare disability which leaves me in a lot of pain and very limited, but it's not outwardly visible so I get no special attention - straight

I'm a complete atheist but argue the right of faith - married to a guy I've been with since I was 15 - believe in aliens but not that they've visited - have 1 daughter - I was bullied to the point of severe depression

I love Star Trek, Buffy, 24, Lost (too long a list to continue) - horror and sci-fi movies - Dean Koontz, Roald Dahl, James Herbert - I design jewellery for a living - I listen to Paul Simon, Queen, Bruce Springsteen (loads more, another long one)

I believe all our problems could be solved when we discover intelligent life on another planet and redefine ourselves as 'the humans'. Then we can be biggoted about green skins.

Do these points define me? Would my conversations about TV soaps be altered because you know this about me? Ask me anything you want about them, if it makes you think more or less of me.......?

[MarMar]

We come together because of a shared interest, someone further up suggested that talking about being gay was like sharing an interest in knitting. That, to me, sounds practically phobic. My sexuality is not an interest or a lifestyle, it's just the way my brain is wired. It's no more an interest than my colour.

You did not read that post at all, and this remark show that you did not think about what I said, and could not be more from the truth if you even tried.

What I was trying to say was: Gay people often come together to support eachother, at least they do where I live. Here we have groups for teens who are gay, parents of teens and adult who are gay, and other gay organizations.

But, as I was trying to say, it seems to me that this sexuality/lifestyle of being gay/bi/whatever is something some of those who are take an interest in. They want to be a place they know they will be accepted. Some tend to live "very gayly", like their sexuality is very iomporant and infiltrates every aspect of their life, just like my boyfriend's grandmother's Chistianity is in every aspect of her life.

Maybe your sexuality is not that big a part of your life, but it is for some, and that is something you need to accept. This thread was started because someone felt like it, and maybe felt they needed a place to talk about problems or joys by being gay. Taking up how it was to come out was tried, but it seemes like not many wanted to discuss that. Fine, but you can't blame someone for taking an interest and trying.

[Attismum]

their sexuality as well as ohter "interests"

I didn't misread, I maybe didn't take the meaning you wanted to convey but you can't say I didn't read it. "as well as other" states that the first item (sexuality) compares well with the second item (knitting). I don't believe that's true so I said so, you've said that's not what you meant and that's fine, I'm sure you can understand why I made the conclusion I did.

I still believe that saying people come together because sexuality is a shared interest is wrong. I do agree that people do come together to discuss the problems they may face from being gay and the the things they enjoy about being gay. I do however think that in order to teach the idiots out there that cause the sometimes very serious problems for gay people to think in a different way, we have to start banding together as people and not as labels. Why can't we discuss together what it's like to be gay? If we want to make a change we need to do it together, gay people aren't the ones causing the problem. Let's make the small minded idiots the ones who have to search for each other on small threads in larger forums.

I don't have a problem with this thread, I just question it's purpose if we're ever going to move forward. A black centred thread, a what it's like to live with green eyes thread, a gay thread. They all distinguish the contributers as people who want to seperate themselves into a small group and talk about how no one else knows what it's like. Well no one else will no if they only talk amongst themselves. It's the people that don't know, they're the ones who need to find out.

I am basing this is on actual experiences, not just of the gay issue but race discrimination, class discrimination, sex discrimination, disability discrimination. If we're going to discuss other peoples attitudes let it be to minorities as a whole. If even half the people who can call themselves a minority got together, we'd be the majority.

[MarMar]

Thank you for a very good post, you do most certainly have a point.

This thread was never exclusive for gay/bi people. I am attracted to other women myself, yet I do not call myself a bisexual. Straight people, to my better knowledge, has posted here, so you could say that the posters are here to talk together about being gay, even if they're not. What has not been big on this board, is calm and "intelectual" talk. I am not saying it does not exists, but it has been known to fade away for the more common chat about which movie you last saw etc.

But, by all means, talk about the problems gay/bi people are faced with. I am sure some of the other members with contribute.

[Si-Co]

Just bumping this thread for the benefit of non-BB housemates who wish to discuss or ask advice about sexuality issues.

[MarMar]

The rainbow-room is back.

I also encourage LJers to post a comment to my latest sexuality-post, if they feel like it.