The Holdens Fan Fic: A Bond That Never Dies

[h&acouples]

Summary:The holdens are a close family that have been about trust and understanding and most of all love , but how will their bond break with the circumstances ahead of them?

Part 1

The Holdens are in the table sitting down eating italian food that Tony made , Jack and Tony are talking about the football match they watched in a cheerful and chirpy mood byut Lucas is in a quit mood and Tony notices Lucas's quit expression and says "Are you ok Luc" and Lucas nods and puts his face down but Tony says "Is there anything you want to get off your chest " but Lucas gets up and Tony asks him "where you are going " Lucas just says softly "I'm going to my room"Tony looks hurt and turns towards Jack and says"Don't worry dad we'll soon get through to him , you what Lucas is like ", Lucas is in his room lighting a candle and then Jack comes in the room and says "Hi do you mind if i come in " and Lucas turns towards him and nods and Jack says politley"Look whatever the problem is , please tell me and dad , we both love you and want to help you , we know you are upset but if you hide your feelings inside of you , you are gonna be more hurt , Lucas looks towards him and then Jack goes and stands by the door "if there is anything you need , please tell us", Jack leaves the room and then Lucas lies in his bed with a blanket on him wth tears in his eyes.Why Lucas is upset ?Why he is creating a distance between him and his lovely dad and brother?why is he hiding his emotions?why won't he open up?

[Jackieleanne]

Good start it looks like it will be good.

[h&acouples]

Part 2

Lucas is lighting two more candles on his tables and he has a thoughtful expression his face and opens his drawer and finds a bottle of vodka and opens irt up and takes a swig from it and then sit down on his bed and takes 10 more swig from it with tears in his eyes with pain and then 10 minuites later Tony comes in Lucas room and finds Lucas lying down on the bed with vodka on the bed and looks horrified and then Lucas wakes up and gets up looking blurry -eyed and Tony looks at him with a furious expression and Lucas says "my head hurts" and Tony gets the Vodka bottle and says "Where did you find this" with a an angry voice and Lucas says"I dont know and Tony asks him again with a furious voice but Lucas shrugs "

[Jackieleanne]

Short but good chapter, it might help though if you could use spag such as using full stops and comma's to break up the chapter rather than keep using and as it's a big long winded to read but other than that it is really good.

[h&acouples]

and Tony asks him again and says "If you don't tell me , you are grounded , this is not my son , my son Lucas is a mature and delightful guy , not someone who lies and i'm warning you ,Lucas says "Ok , Ok i stole it ftom the beer shop , i wanted to . Tony looks horrifie and says to Lucas with a furious expression "You think ber will help you numb the pain , Luc how im i supposed to help you if you don't tell me ? ok don't tell me if you don't want to but never do this stupid thing again otherwise you are grounded , when Tony storms out of the room , Lucas looks tearful nd hurt and gets the beer bottle and smashes it on the floor and sees blood in hands and gets the tissue and wipes it off leaving him in a verge of tears.

[MarMar]

I agree with Jackieleanne - the lack of punctuation and the short paragraphs makes it hard to keep the perspective on what you're writing. If you are unfamiliar with useing spag, you can get help from one of the proof readers.

[h&acouples]

PART 3

Tony comes out of Luca's room and goes to thr room where Jack is watching TV and sits down looking shocked. Jack sees him and asks him what i he is feeling down while Tony stares into space.

Jack(Looking Concerned)Dad what's wrong?

Tony(Tunrning towards Jack) - I just found Lucas drinking vodka from his room .

Jack - What?

Tony -Yes , even i can't believe it , my son who is so charming and a loving boy doing somthing i thought he would never do .

Jack - Who gave him the drink?

Tony-He stole it from the beer shop

Jack-This isn't like Lucas

Tony-Exactly , i really want to help him , i don't want him to feel like i'm pressurising him , i just concerned like any other parent would feel .I know he is quit by nature , but he talks to me and he opens up at times , but this time he is extra quit and he is acting strange at the same time.

Jack-Don't worry dad , Lucas will open up sonner or later , remember when i was a teenager i found it differcult to talk to you but you made me relise over the years that i can talk to you , Lucas would do the same dad , you don't worry(Lucas is in his room holding a white pillow in his hands wearing a white polo shirt holding a picture of his family in his hands and another of his family with the hunters , with tears in his eyes and begins to cry gently and another photo with his Dad and his beatiful blond/haired blue eyed mother and lies down and looks up at the wall with his peircing blue eyes in anguish .)

Why is Lucas so down and can't tell his loved ones he's feeling like this? .............

[-michelle-]

Please update soon

[Penie]

This is very good, can't wait to the next update. This fiction sounds familiar....

[h&acouples]

Part 4

Its morning and the Sunlight is glowing outside beatiful Summer Bay and Tony and Jack are making breakfast for Lucas as they have ate theirs half and hour before , Lucas comes in the kitchen and sits down with a weary expression on his face and Tony and Jack put food on his table(Ommlette and they made Coffee for him as well)

Tony -Good Morning Lucas!(Lucas doesn't reply)

Tony -Morning!

Lucas -Morning Dad

Tony(Sitting down the opposite table -I was wondering if you and me could go fishing together or catch the latest film in the cinema.

Lucas -I don't want to !

Tony -Come on Buddy it'll be fun just the two of us , i'm just asking you , you don't have to go .

Lucas(Aggressivly)-I said No !(and gets up and puches Tony and ,and he falls of the chair )

Jack-Dad!(Looking furious at Lucas and Lucas looks shocked and Jack gets Tony up and Lucas tries to Help Tony holds his hand indicating No and Lucas goes out with a shocked look)

Jack-I'll come back , i'll just go after him (going out of the door while Tony looks hurt)

In the Beach Lucas is watching the blue dep shore and Jack comes towards him and Lucas turns towards him and Jack has annoyed expression on his face)

Jack -Why are you acting like a jerk?dad loves both so uch and you are acting like you don't appreciate him .

Lucas-It's not like that?

Jack-Then what is it? i was so horrified when you punched dad , you usually respect dad so much but now you are acting really stupid , he was being freindly and we both want to help you because we love you very much ecspecially dad who cares about you to death but if you don't tell us the problem then we will have differculties.(jack walks away leaving Lucas in Tears and guilty expression on his face)