Repercussions

[Nicom]

Chapter 10 Part 2 - The End.

“You begin…” Jack said, breaking the silence. Martha looked at him, then back out to the sea.

“Okay… You’re a jerk.” She stated.

“Maybe I should have gone first…” He sighed, looking to his feet. “I know this may sound stupid, but… why are you mad at me?” He asked. Martha laughed.

“Because you never buy me flowers.” She answered sarcastically. Jack gave her a stern look.

“Martha, as much as I’d love to avoid this conversation, it’s the one thing that’s stopping us from getting back together. We need to do this.” Jack insisted. Martha sighed.

“Fine… because… you’re a jerk.” She answered. Jack gave her the same repetitive stern look, scolding her. “Okay, okay…” She muttered, putting her hands up in defence. She sat, staring into the sea as she thought. “Because you surprised me.” She answered quietly. Jack looked confused.

“…Because I surprised you?” He repeated, half-laughing. Martha nodded.

“Having feelings for someone other than each other is something I never thought either of us would do. Ever since I realised I loved you I knew we’d be together forever, I knew that we were meant to be. Well, I thought we’d be together forever…” Jack looked down, sensing the current negative direction. “You falling for someone else was never part of my plan, it was never an option. I thought we only needed each other, I didn’t think you’d ever look at another woman twice. I know that sounds big headed… but I just assumed that we had that kind of love, that bond that couldn’t be broken or threatened.” She explained. “But now you’ve gone and done this and surprised me… I don’t know what else you are capable of.” She said honestly. Jack nodded understandingly.

“Right… I get you…” He confirmed. He looked down at his hands, watching as they nervously wrapped around each other. He hated himself for what he’d done, the repercussions of his idiotic actions had messed everything up, and it was clear by what Martha was saying that this conversation wasn’t going to end the way he’d hoped. He could understand what Martha said and what she felt; he’d have felt the same. He thought about Tasha and Robbie, his and Tasha’s suspected feelings had already ended one marriage, why couldn’t it end his?

Martha looked at his hands, watching as they fiercely entwined with each other, roughly grinding against the other. Martha could see the concentration and anger in Jack’s face as he did the action, the frustration that he was letting out. She was sure she could see his eyes watering. Martha watched as he took it out on his hands, breathing in and out heavily through his anger. She couldn’t sit and witness this; she was hurting to think what was going off in his head. She reached out and put her hand on his, holding one as she brought it away, preventing any further attack.

“I haven’t finished.” She said quietly. Jack stopped, quickly wiping the corner of his eye and turning to look at her. “I may be angry, I may be hurt… but I feel lucky.” She smiled.

“Okay, the nurses were right, you need to go to the Psych ward.” Jack said. “What are you on about Martha?” He asked confused. Martha sighed, rubbing her thumb against the back of his hand.

“Tasha’s a beautiful girl. Most men would kiss, sleep with her given the chance; and you were given the chance. In your position… you could have had an affair.” Martha said. Jack looked puzzled.

“So… you’re saying I should have had an affair?” Jack asked, confused. Martha laughed.

“Hell no! I’d have killed you by now!” She exclaimed. Jack laughed, jokingly shifting backwards. “The point is,” She began, pulling him back closer, “you had the perfect opportunity to go into intimacy with a beautiful woman, but you didn’t. You chose not to, you left yourself just thinking through your feelings, doing the most possible not hurt me.” Martha explained. Jack nodded.

“Martha, I don’t want anyone else. No one could be better looking, nicer, or friendlier than you! You’re like… the perfect woman. Well, nearly – Colleen’s damn perfect…” He smiled. Martha hit him playfully.

“Nice. You can have her anytime.” Martha offered.

“Bleurgh. Please, don’t create the mental images.” Jack pleaded, rubbing his forehead. Martha laughed. She looked down at their hands, they were now holding both of their hands together, and Jack’s thumb was gently grazing over the top of her knuckles. She squeezed on tighter to his hands, securing the grasp. Martha was always amazed at how well they fit, how they seemed to be born to just exist together. She continued to stare at them until her smile drifted away.

“Even though you didn’t act upon your feelings, you still thought you had them. You let yourself think you had them feelings, when I thought you’d never let yourself do that. As I said, you surprised me Jack, what if you surprise me again?” She asked quietly, looking up at him with tears in her eyes. Jack sat in silence, taken aback by her question. He wasn’t taken back because it was hard and difficult to answer, but because of its simplicity. Why hadn’t he answered it sooner? It seemed so obvious now; he should have assured her of his reasons behind the feelings before it had got this far. Jack smiled, pulling up her hand and gently kissing it.

“Let me explain.” He said. Martha nodded gently.

“No bull Jack.” She affirmed. Jack nodded.

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” He smiled.

“Right…” He began, taking a deep breath. “When I got told about the chopper not arriving to the city and being caught up in a storm, my heart stopped beating. I can’t forget that feeling… I can’t forget that moment… Rachel stood at the door, telling us the news. Sure, everyone was acting positive, telling me things I wanted to hear, but it was no use. I feared the worst straight away.” He told her. Martha listened on, intrigued. “But there was a shred of hope that kept me through, knowing that we were meant to be together just kept me going, it kept me believing that it was all going to be okay. Then… the crash recording made the thread of hope even more fragile. That’s when I started to break down.” He said. “Just hearing your scream… hearing your plea for help… broke my heart. I can still hear it, ringing around in my head. Everyone was staying positive, but when you’re that close to someone involved, that close to losing someone, you can’t help but fear the worst. Days and days went by, nothing was heard. The search was scaled back to a body search, confirming my suspicions from the start. In my eyes, you were gone. Everyone tried to comfort me, Dad especially, but I thought that no one knew what I was going through. No one knew how much I was hurting. Apart from Tasha.” Jack explained. Martha looked down at her hands, unsure whether she was ready to hear about the way they fell for each other.

“You know Jack, maybe I don’t want to know about your details with her…” She said, looking away uncomfortably. Jack gave her hands a comforting squeeze, grabbing her attention.

“You need to know.” He told her. “Trust me.” Martha took a deep breath, then smiled, gesturing for him to continue. “Tasha had lost Robbie, her husband. Since both of us had lost our spouses, there was a blank space; a blank space we could fill with each other.”

“So you did replace me.” Martha interrupted. Jack shook his head.

“No. It was nothing as nice as that… it was almost like we were using each other. Not for intimacy, but for the friendship and support part of a marriage. We both knew a massive part of our lives had gone, so why not just pair up and help each other out? We hung around together, the friendship bond tightened, obviously.”

“So… what are you actually trying to say? Because right now… you’re just telling me about stuff I’m not too keen on knowing.” Martha said honestly.

“I’m trying to say… any feelings we developed just branched from the loss of you and Robbie. You had gone out of our lives and we needed support. We made a bond because of our heartbreak, not because of attraction or love. We didn’t like each other anymore than we ever have, our feelings never changed, they just grew.” Jack explained.

“So why did you get so confused about it? You seem pretty certain about it all now.” Martha asked.

“I guess it was withdrawal symptoms.” He chuckled. Martha raised an eyebrow, indicating to her confusion. “Right… say your granddad moved away and you couldn’t talk to him, you’d feel weird, right?” Jack asked. Martha nodded.

“Yea.. but he’s my granddad. I see him like everyday…”

“Exactly! For a fortnight I’d seen Tasha for most of the day, everyday. So to suddenly stop that routine felt weird. Then, feeling weird felt weird. Do you understand?” Jack asked.

“Surprisingly yes.” She answered.

“We both read a bit too far in it, fearing that we’d actually developed feelings towards one another. I just wish I’d have known this then.” Jack said. “But… I didn’t. Which lands us here.” Jack finished. Martha looked into the sea, thoughts puzzling her mind. Jack stared at her, curious to what her reaction was. “What are you thinking?” He asked.

“I don’t know.” She said, “Honestly? I have no idea.” She sighed.

***************

Jack looked at his watch; it now read 12:15. They’d been in silence for a record breaking half an hour. He looked over at Martha; she had let go of his hands and faced the sea as she thought. He was nervous and petrified of the outcome. He desperately wanted to find out, but he didn’t want to disturb her in case he encouraged the wrong conclusion. He watched her, searching the side of her face for any suggestions that she’d finished deciding, and that hopefully it was a happy conclusion. Suddenly, Martha began quietly laughing and shaking her head. Jack looked on bewildered.

“…Are you okay?” He asked quietly. Martha smiled, turning around to him.

“You know what I just realised?” She asked. Jack shrugged. “I’ve been sat here, knowing too well that the explanation you just gave was completely valid and probably worthy of saving the relationship – and trying to come up with another reason to why we shouldn’t be together. But there isn’t.”

“And you’re laughing because of that?” Jack asked, confused.

“Well… I’m just an idiot. It’s my stupid anger and stubbornness, not what I want. I want to forgive you; I want to take in what you said and make everything better, but my stubbornness… I just want to keep pretending I don’t care!” She laughed. “But then… that’s not what I want. Because I want to be with you like I know I should be, I want to listen to ME instead of… stupid me! I know you did nothing wrong now, there’s nothing to be mad at you for - so why am I being so…grrr!?!” She exclaimed angrily. “I’m rambling and getting confused…” She muttered. “My head hurts.” She groaned, holding her head. Jack stared at her, a smile creeping onto his face.

“This is why I love you.” He smiled. “You’re a loon.” Martha laughed, pretending to be offended. She turned around and knelt up, leaning closer to him.

“This is why I love you.” She whispered. She neared closer and kissed him, taking Jack by surprise. Of course, he wasn’t so surprised to reject the kiss; he welcomed that eagerly. It was the best surprise he’d had in over a week! Slowly, she drew away, allowing Jack to take back his breath. Jack smiled.

“Would I be right in assuming we’re back together?” He asked. Martha shrugged.

“Not necessarily. I kiss lots of guys.” She joked.

“I guess I can deal with that. As long as you can deal with sharing me with Colleen.” Jack bargained. “Bleurgh. Mental picture, mental picture!!” He exclaimed, hitting his head. Martha laughed.

“I understand about you and Tasha. Thanks for explaining. And sorry for over-reacting.” She said. Jack shook his head, taking Martha’s hand.

“You didn’t over-react Martha. You acted pretty damn normal in the situation.” He told her. “And you aren’t just saying it are you, you do understand what happened?” Jack ensured. Martha nodded.

“Yes.” She confirmed. Jack smiled.

“Good. I don’t want you to ever think that I’d develop feelings for anyone, like you’re not enough. Because believe me, you’re more than enough. I can’t possibly imagine loving anyone else.” He said. Martha tilted her head.

“Apart from Collee-”

“Mental image!!” Jack exclaimed, pushing her over onto the sand in a fit of giggles. Jack sat up straight, watching her laid down beside him. “So… we’re going to get past this Mrs Holden?” He asked, linking his fingers with hers. Martha nodded.

“I think we just might.” She smiled. Jack grinned as he slowly leant down, kissing her once more.

I finished!! It's out the way! Now I have nothing to do... great. lol.

Hope you all enjoyed!

Link to comments thread