Safe Epilogue

[Ali_]

I didn't have time to do my final edit so I hope it makes sense!

Sexual Healing

“I think we should travel.”

Belle was multitasking glob-trotting thoughts with the difficult task of putting Lucas’s sealed dinner in the microwave.

Lucas looked at it with trepidation.

“I still reckon I should shout us dinner at the diner.”

Belle groaned.

“No I want us to have a nice home cooked dinner in front of the TV like normal couples have since you have got me hooked on the whole couples thing. It’s your fault.”

“I have no problem with that but heating up plastic food in the microwave is hardly home cooked.”

“Can you do any better?”

“Well no we are both hopeless in the kitchen that’s why I suggested someone else cook it for us.”

“That would be Irene and I don’t want to give her any unnecessary work, she deserves an early night.”

“Okay.”

“What are we going to do when we move in together?”

Lucas paused for a moment.

“Takeout.”

“You’ll regret that decision when I weigh 200 pounds.”

“Fine we’ll just get Irene to teach us how to cook some time.”

“Deal, but for now you are stuck with your plastic-fantastic roast lamb and vegetables.”

“If I have to.”

“So back to the travel thing.”

“Well I would love to travel with you but we are going to be tied down with work stuff for a while and I’ve only just come back from Europe and I’m kind of broke.”

“Come on let’s just jet off to Italy next week, I can pay for us I have seemingly unlimited finances!”

“You wont at this rate. I love the impulsiveness but you’re forgetting the whole family crisis.”

“Oh yeah sorry it totally slipped my mind, once Beth’s better we can take her and Tony with us and give them a well deserved holiday.”

Lucas smiled lovingly and hugged Belle from behind.

“You are so sweet, why can’t everyone see you like this?”

“Is that a trick question?”

“Never mind.”

**********************************

“Can you believe it?”

Henry was practically bouncing on his feet when he came around to Maddy’s the next day. Maddy was silent for a while before she answered.

“No I really can’t!”

“I know right! It’s so exciting.”

“You’re an idiot.”

She slammed the door in his face. He knocked on the door over and over until she reopened it up in frustration.

“What?”

“What is your problem? Why can’t you ever be happy for me? I’m getting married and moving to Spain! I can’t believe how selfish yo are.”

“Me? Me? Did you think for one minute about mum or how she is going to cope without your sorry ass? You are the most self-conceited person I’ve met and I can’t believe we are related.”

“That is harsh! Okay at first I was caught up in the moment and didn’t consider her but I did after and I wont be going for at least a few weeks so mum will at least be out of hospital by then and besides she has you and I’m rubbish at being supportive! She’ll be happy for me, it will give her something to look forward to and somewhere to visit after it’s all over so don’t you dare judge me. I still love mum as much as you.”

Maddy sighed, she knew she was overreacting but her mum wasn’t the only one who’d need Henry in the days to come.

“I just wish you’d stay in one place for a while, preferably somewhere not half way around the world from your family.”

“Cassie is my family too and if I didn’t go I’d lose her and that’s not an option.”

“Well I’m glad you are at least committing to something even if I will miss you.”

“My sorry ass? I can’t see how that’ll be possible. You get mum to yourself again.”

Henry winked and Maddy laughed.

“I can see the benefits, plus free accommodation if we are ever on your side of the planet.”

“Exactly, now you are thinking like me.”

“Now that the messy lecture is over I can help you pick out rings.”

*****************************************

The next week was one of the hardest of Maddy’s life and considering how much she had been through in her lifetime it was saying a lot.

She was around her mum any spare minute she had when Willow was at school, she neglected her courses and brought around movies, made lunch and anything else her mum didn’t define as fussing. She hated seeing her mother sick it was like seeing superman being affected by kryptonite she just wasn’t accustomed to it.

Henry was around like he said he would be, Maddy was glad to see that his moving to Europe and being engaged had given Beth a lift and made her look healthier rather than made her sad. She talked non-stop about all the fun he’d have and asked him all sorts of questions.

Tony hovered around in the worried way he did but Maddy sent him out on errands to keep him busy when he wasn’t working. Beth was incredibly grateful but Maddy could see she was scared and that was what affected her most. She didn’t want to lose her mum but the possibility was weighing down on them more than it had ever before. There were so many more risks and complications with a large surgery like Beth’s but no one spoke about them. The atmosphere of denial was keeping everyone going.

When she went into surgery that week everyone was at her bedside, it seemed half the way was there to wish her luck, it was weird seeing everyone at her bedside smiling as if they all wanted to at least wish her well now in case she didn’t come back out alive. Ric was holding Maddy’s hand the entire time and Willow’s naivety and generally funny comments kept Maddy’s spirits up. She felt nauseas and empty the entire eight hours Beth was in surgery but she refused to leave the hospital or Tony’s side who looked about as good as she felt. So everyone camped out in the hospital sharing stories and supporting each other, they were tender moments despite the circumstances.

“How are you doing Tony?”

Tony smiled but it didn’t suit his grim demeanour.

“I’m fine love how are you?”

“Yeah about the same, she should be out soon.”

Tony nodded.

“I want to say that’s true but I don’t want to jinx it. I’ve been around hospitals too much, first Lucas’ mum and Jack’s been through some tough scrapes and now Beth. I get the same feeling every time, like my insides are being twisted together and I can’t think straight.”

“It’s okay Jack survived everything and so will mum, you’ll be on a beach someone before you know it.”

Tony closed his eyes as if praying she was right.

“I just, I hope she knows how much she means to me.”

“Of course she does and you mean everything to her too, and to me. You don’t know how much being in our lives has made a difference, my mum deserves someone like you and I’ve never seen her so happy, even now. I love you for that.”

“I love you too, you are my daughter as far as I’m concerned which might make your past history with Lucas a little confusing but you get the idea.”

He finally gave her a genuine smile that seemed to make the situation less tense.

Finally an hour later she was wheeled back into her room from recovery, she was groggy and disorientated but she was alive and seeing her in the flesh and blood made all the difference.

************************

Belle was waiting dutifully outside the room playing with Willow while the older members of the family talked to the doctor and stayed with Beth.

“Are you and Lucas married?”

Belle laughed.

“No of course not, if that was true you would have been the first to know.”

Willow sighed.

“Are you and Lucas girlfriend and boyfriend?”

Belle wondered where such astute and probing questions were coming from, especially in the young girl.

“Well yes we are why?”

“No reason. The prince and princess always marry in the end though.”

Belle nodded pretending to understand her cryptic logic.

“So are you in enjoying kindegarten?”

“Yes it’s great but mum misses me too much.”

Belle smiled.

“Well she’s your mum it’s her job.”

“But she’s going to be a teacher and help people.”

“Well then she have to do both.”

That’s when Belle had her second brainwave but she kept it to herself for now.

Tony came out a few minutes later.

“Hey guys, Beth is doing fine but she’s a a bit groggy so we are going to leave and let her sleep the rest of the night and come back in the morning.”

“Can I see?”

Tony nodded to Willow and patted her on the head.

“You can quickly go and kiss grandma goodnight.”

“Thanks granddad.”

As far as Willow was concerned Alf and Tony were her granddad’s because she had never been around to meet Maddy’s real dad and until Willow was older Maddy was not going to encourage her otherwise as Tony was a great grandad and loved Willow as much as anyone.

“Belle do you want to go in?”

“No it’s okay thanks, I’m not really family.”

She stared at her shoes, she didn’t really have any real family left. Tony sat down next to her.

“You may not know our family very well or have been around very long but you are a good kid and you mean a lot to my son in fact I’m sure he loves you so as far as I’m concerned you are family. I don’t care about your history, anyone who makes my son happy is welcome like a daughter.”

Belle smiled genuinely.

“Thanks.”

“No worries, you’ll have to come around for a proper family dinner once Beth is on the mend, you haven’t become a Holden until you’ve tried Beth’s roast lamb.”

“An actual roast lamb that you don’t heat in the microwave would be really cool, thanks Mr. Holden.”

“Please call me Tony or you’ll make me feel older than I am.”

Belle nodded but grinned cheekily.

“Don’t worry you pratically look 21.”

“That’s what I like to here.”

He patted her back in a fatherly way and re entered the room.

*********************

By the time they Maddy and Ric got home Willow was already passed out in his arms so they softly put her in bed and went to their own room.

Maddy felt strange, she was relieved about her mum but also exhilarated despite her exhaustion. No one was going to die and she appreciated her own life so much more, she had so much to be thankful and the pit of her stomach seemed to swell with warmth.

“I need you Ric.”

She walked over to him as she took off her dress.

“What do you need? Coffee?”

Maddy smiled at his naivety, when they began dating she was the inexperienced one but now they were on equal footing. Hanging out with Belle had made he bold somehow.

“No I need something else.”

She began unbuckling his belt confidently despite the diminished light and he was kissing her before she had even undid his jeans. He pushed her up against the wall as he removed her top and was trailing kisses down her neck.

His jeans were down his legs and Maddy’s bra was off quickly. She smiled into him as she ran her hands down his body. She forgot how being with Ric like this made her forget everything, her mind was so clouded by desire that she let her body do the thinking for her. Ric was already sliding her knickers off before she realised and she finally stepped out of them. She was completely naked next to him but she didn’t feel embarrassed like she used to. Ric never made her feel stupid or exposed and she had learnt long ago that modesty was overrated.

Seconds later and he was just as bare as she was. She lifted her leg slightly and Ric instinctively grabbed it to his side as he began to thrust inside her. She grabbed at his hair and their moaning was louder than it should have been but Willow and discretion was everything else was an afterthought when they were so connected.

“Mummy?”

Willow’s voice was high and shaking and even through the fog of lust she could tell she was crying and her worry sobered her up.

“Coming sweetie!”

Ric stopped reluctantly and groaned into her neck but she called feel the hint of a smile at the bad timing.

“I’ll be back.”

“You better be.”

Maddy smiled as Ric released her and she grabbed her dressing gown.

“What is it Will?”

Willow was hugging her pillow and her face was streaked with tears.

“I had a nightmare and now I’m too scared to sleep, there was an evil clown chasing me.”

“Well it was just a dream, it wasn’t real. I don’t see any evil clowns running around do you?”

“No but it feels real.”

“Well I want you to think of that evil clown now in your mind and think of a funny story for him to be in now you have control of your imagination. That way he wont seem so scary because remember he’s your creation.”

Willow nodded but looked uncertain.

“Will you stay with me until I go to sleep.”

Maddy nodded.

“Of course.”

She lay down next to her daughter and stroked her hair as she turned over and tried to sleep. Ironically Maddy was snoring away next to her first.

Ric didn’t exactly fall asleep easily but he vowed to make Maddy ‘pay’ tomorrow morning in the shower.

************************

Belle and Lucas lay in bed together once they returned from the hospital.

“Your day is cool.”

“I wouldn’t say cool.”

“No he is.”

“You’re not going to talk about his shorts again are you?”

“No idiot I’m just saying you’re lucky.”

Lucas nodded as kissed the top of Belle’s head as she lay into him.

“I guess I am, I mean I know I am I just don’t think about it.”

“You never do until it’s too late which kind of sucks.”

Lucas went to say something but changed his mind, even in the dark Belle could tell.

“What?”

“What?”

“You wanted to ask me something.”

“No I didn’t.”

“You did, just ask.”

“Fine, I just wanted to know, it’s stupid.”

“Look ask me anything and I’ll tell you the truth.”

“Okay I want to know how many guys you have slept with.”

He blurted it out quickly and groaned to himself for asking almost automatically.

“I don’t know.”

“It’s okay.”

“I’m not dodging the question I actually don’t know.”

“How can you not know?”

Belle paused, mentally trying to calculate it in her head.

“Fine, maybe twenty or more.”

“Twenty?”

Lucas tried not have a judgemental tone but twenty wasn’t exactly what he was expecting. It was his fault though, he shouldn’t have asked.

“Yes and I’m not going to explain or justify myself because it’s the past and I’d rather not relive most of it.”

Lucas nodded but said nothing. Belle hated feeling vulnerable, she would hate for him to think less of her but if she wasn’t truthful to herself he’d love an ideal or charade of who she really was. If he loved her he’d love all of her the good and the bad, at least she hoped.

“I can count all my sexual encounters on my hand.”

Belle smiled.

“Well that’s good because you always were rubbish at maths.”

Lucas laughed.

“I’m sorry for sounding shocked, it’s just a little intimidating living up to your expectations considering all the guys that you’ve been with.”

“What expectations?”

“I guess they are my own then, I just don’t want you to be disappointed, I’m just not that experienced.”

“You are so insecure but luckily for you I find that strangely attractive. Look, the truth is all the other guys put together don’t match up to you.”

Lucas grinned.

“I’m that good?”

“No it’s not about the sex itself which is fine by the way, it’s the fact I care about you which makes all the difference. I enjoy you as a person as much as in the sack and the two combined are unbeatable.”

Belle expected Lucas to laugh or kiss her but he looked at her indignantly.

“Fine? It’s fine? That’s not very reassuring. It’s like calling it nice.”

“And by it you mean sex?”

Lucas blushed, he couldn’t help still being slightly prudish.

“Well yeah.”

Belle laughed.

“Don’t worry practice makes all the difference.”

Lucas finally grinned.

“Well I think I should start right now.”

“Seriously?”

Lucas nodded.

“What can I say? I’m a perfectionist.”

Lucas was down under the covers before Belle could form a reply and Lucas passed his ‘practice’ with flying colours.

*******************

Bailey will make his entrance in the next chapter.

[Adia]

This is awesome! i can't wait for your next update!

[summer_bay_rules]

A really good chapter! Very well written, especially all the stuff with Beth.

Well done!

[Jackieleanne]

That was brilliant I loved it great writing. Loved all the stuff with Beth and the Matilda and Ric stuff.

[matty and luke forever]

Awww it's great! Poor Beth

[Ali_]

Sorry not an update! Just to let you know since exams are coming up I'll just post one large chapter every saturday so you guys don't have to keep checking back and now when it'll be up!

[matty and luke forever]

^Okai... saldy school comes first

[Ali_]

Sorry about the wait!

*********************

Growing up

Beth had been in hospital a few days and was being picked up by her entourage of loved ones in a few hours.

It was one of the first times she had had time to herself since the operation.

She was lucky.

She told herself she was a very blessed woman and to everyone around her she was recovering well.

Physically, her recovery was flawless - most of the pain was dulled with medication and there were no infections or other risks that usually presented by now.

Emotionally her healing was a lot slower. She hadn’t even looked let alone touched the area where her breasts used to be. She felt shallow and stupid for mourning such useless pieces of flesh. If she was in her twenties or thirties she could feel real sadness but not at her age, she wasn’t going to breastfeed again and at least she didn’t have cancer anymore.

But she did mourn them, she felt like part of her identity had been chopped off on the operating table. To the surgeons it was business as usual, they were simply removing a faulty part to an old car so it didn’t collapse down the road but Beth couldn’t remain so detached. It was her body that was mutilated and she for the first time felt truly old.

She knew it would be better once she was in her own home not the isolating hospital room and when she was wearing her clothes but it felt a long way away.

No matter the bad feelings she had at that moment though she also felt an undercurrent of pride, she had survived cancer and she faced it with the steely determination and hope she always had. She wasn’t ashamed of herself, without or with a flat chest.

***********************

“Good afternoon my beautiful wife.”

Tony came in with a grin on his face a few hours later.

“Hey, where are the cavalry?”

“Oh well I thought you’d appreciate some one on one time with your ruggedly handsome husband so I told them to come and see you at home tomorrow.”

Beth couldn’t help but be a tiny bit disappointed but she was more relieved than anything else.

“Thanks. Well I’m ready, shall we go?”

On the way out Beth said a friendly goodbye to nurses she knew by first name already.

“Got yourself a bit of a fan club while you were here!”

“Ah well apparently having your boobs surgically removed makes you some sort of feminist hero. All the women nurses were very supportive though. I got brought cookies by Sandra which was lovely.”

Tony laughed.

“You never cease to impress me.”

Beth smiled. She felt slightly better already.

“I also have some awesome news for you.”

“Oh?”

“But I’ll let them tell you themselves.”

“Okay now I’m intrigued.”

The drive home was peaceful but just walking at any sort of reasonable pace was hard because her chest ached despite the painkillers.

When she entered the dark room she turned on the lights and put down her bags.

“SURPRISE!”

In her living room were half the bay and an assortment of food on the table.

“Welcome home!”

“I couldn’t stop them throwing you a welcome home party they literally invaded the house.”

Beth laughed.

“Thank you everyone it’s great to be back.”

She wondered if anyone was staring at her chest trying to tell the difference, but she tried not to worry about it.

Maddy ran up and hugged her.

“It’s good to see you out of a hospital bed.”

“It’s good to be out.”

Jack and Martha came up to her holding hands.

“Good to see you Beth.”

“Thanks Martha, how are you both?”

Martha couldn’t stop grinning.

“We have something to tell you.”

“What is it?”

“We are pregnant!”

“That’s wonderful! Congratulations.”

Martha and Jake kissed each us passionately as if their was no one around smiling into each other and reminding Beth what there was to live for. Love like that could give hope to anyone.

The music began to play and Matilda and Ric joined Martha and Jack who were dancing together by the couch.

*******************

“How you feeling?”

Henry rubbed his mother’s arm.

“You are the fourth person to ask me that in the hour I’ve been sitting here and I’m still fine.”

“Well that’s good, people are just concerned.”

“They don’t need to be, I wouldn’t be discharged from hospital if I wasn’t up for it.”

Truthfully, Beth hadn’t moved for an hour because her chest ached and the painkillers were making her nauseas but she didn’t want to ruin the mood and the party by absenting herself. She knew the quicker she got back to life as normal the easiest it would be to cope.

Tony came and sat down next to her.

“How are you really feeling? I told them the party probably wasn’t the best plan.”

“It’s okay really, we should be celebrating and I love seeing people happy. I feel like I’ve been hit in the chest with a sledge hammer but my spirits are up and as long as they stay that way I can’t lose.”

“Do you want to rest? The doctor said you shouldn’t push yourself.”

Beth wanted to complain that she wasn’t an invalid but the look of worry etched into his feature made her resist. He had already lost one wife it wasn’t surprising he wanted to keep Beth wrapped in cotton wool.

“I’ll have a lie down soon I promise.”

“Okay I’ll make you a tea.”

*************************

Bailey waited outside Irene’s house with his bags finishing off a cigarette when she arrived with Belle after her.

“Sorry we didn’t get here earlier but we were at a party.”

Bailey scoffed.

“I didn’t think people here had parties.”

Belle laughed.

“Yeah well they are not the kind I’m used to I mean what fun is it going to a party if you can’t slam back vodka shots and snog other people’s boyfriends.”

She was being semi-sarcastic, it’s what she used to be like until Luke but she had undergone a transformation into homebody girlfriend since then but she knew guys like Bailey she had dated enough of them so she knew how to connect. Sure enough Bailey gave her an enigmatic smile.

“Finally someone that has flexible morals, there aren’t enough of us around anymore.”

Irene looked from one of them to the other with unsure concern but opened the door and let them in.

“Your room is upstairs and to the left Bailey.”

“Where does Belle sleep?”

“Downstairs.”

“I don’t mind sharing.”

Belle scoffed.

“I think my boyfriend would have a few comments to make about that.”

Bailey’s shoulders slumped back in obvious disappointment so Belle put an arm around him.

“Don’t worry dude I’ll make us a drink and if it makes you feel better you can always perve on me in the shower.”

Bailey perked up but Irene interjected.

“There will be no perving of any kind under my roof, despite Belle’s exaggerated behaviour I run a tight ship and she’s just as normal and moralistic as the rest of us as I am sure you are.”

“Do you think I’d have been busted for drugs, stealing and truancy if I was?”

Irene rolled her eyes.

“A police record isn’t a one way ticket to hell Bailey, people here will give you a second chance just ask Belle.”

“Belle?”

“Oh yeah they definitely will but you’ll have to undergo their judgement first. So sort of like hell.”

Irene shot Belle a dangerous look and walked upstairs to make Bailey’s bed.

“So you seriously have a boyfriend or was it just a nice let down?”

“Yeah I do, believe me if you had been here a week ago and a year or so older you would have totally been my type and got lucky but as it happens I’m on a one way street to becoming a stepford wife unfortunately.”

“Damn.”

“But despite my teasing this is a pretty good place to start afresh, I’ve done the whole teenage rebellion and had the resentment to authority attitude too but picture yourself a decade or so from now and it isn’t so exciting to be a delinquent and when I say delinquent I mean it in the best sense of the term.”

“Whatever your just like Irene with a stick up her -”

“Hey don’t you dare mouth a bad word about Irene to me if you don’t want to loose any teeth. She deserves your respect for giving you a place to stay and she is the nicest person you’ll probably encounter okay?”

Bailey looked slightly taken aback.

“But I thought you weren’t related?”

“Well we aren’t by blood but family is a lot more than that and she’s happy to make you a part of it if you want.”

Irene had been standing at the top of the stair’s listening proudly. Belle really had turned into a mature young woman.

Bailey suddenly looked unsure of himself.

“The whole drugs thing was for college.”

He looked at his feet.

“What do you mean?”

“Mum can’t afford for me to go and my step dad is a selfish asshole so I started dealing to make money for it. It’s ironic that my drug dealing was to get into college and it ended getting me kicked out of school so college is out of the window.”

He wondered why he had bothered to announce that to Belle but she seemed understanding.

“Don’t worry just go to Summer Bay for a while and complete the courses and you’ll be in uni at no time.”

“What’s the point? If I can’t afford to go anyway.”

“Well if I see you really pull your act together I’ll give you the money.”

“What?”

“I have the resources to be able to fund your education on the proviso that you work your ass off. I don’t want to see you without a text book in your hand for the next three years you get it?”

Belle had sneaked a look at his grade transcripts that Irene got off Sally and before he was kicked out he still got firm As even if he only attended school some of the time which was impressive.

“But, why would you do that? You don’t even know me!”

“You remind me of myself, I lived on the streets and uni was the last thing I wanted but I went to school and could have potentially gone to uni but I didn’t I went to the USA with my mum and got off track. Anyway, the point is you shouldn’t regret anything or pass up your opportunities like I did.”

Bailey smiled shyly, so maybe Belle wasn’t so bad after all.

“Okay well thanks I’ll try my best.”

“I’m sure that you will and if not I’ll kick your ass so that will be good motivation.”

Bailey laughed.

“You can go anywhere near my ass you want sweetheart.”

Belle rolled her eyes and swatted Bailey over the head before leaving.

“Oh and by the way, I want you to be the perfect guest for Irene while I’m not there to hang out with you okay?”

“Okay, bye.”

For the first time in years Bailey grinned to himself, he saw his future stretching out before him in a way he had never felt before. He always felt so trapped and hopeless that he didn’t see the point of doing the right thing but now it was different and he planned to be different too.

************************

Reviews are wonderful!

[matty and luke forever]

Awww Ali it's great!!! I can'yt wait for more

[Jackieleanne]

That was great I loved it.