Never Say Never

[nicky1990]

hahaha

[irish_angel]

Just wanted to say a massive THANK YOU.... I don't think i have laughed this much in ages, that was just the weirdest, but the funniest thing i have ever read. So again THANK YOU

[Tasha]

^^ agreed

that last chapter was funny. Who are the seven stuck in the hay though?? i can only think of Martha, Jack, Alf

[ILOVEASH]

^^ agreed

that last chapter was funny. Who are the seven stuck in the hay though?? i can only think of Martha, Jack, Alf

Thanks!

well first it was Martha and Ash, then Alf, and then Jack, and then Mattie, Macca and Kim fell in aswell(because of the wind from the cyclone, that blew through the window). I think that's all of them.

[Tasha]

lol wow, awesome. But Ash isnt anywhere near Martha is he?? Jack has to be with Martha, not bum head Ash

[ILOVEASH]

NEVER SAY NEVER: CHAPTER 9

Looking for her boyfriend in the cyclone, Belle made her way over to Sally's place. "Lucas!" she called as she walked to the front door. But as Belle walked inside, Mattie called to her. "He's gone back for Tony" she said as she tried to untangle her hair beneath the hay. Belle looked worried. "What if he's hurt? Who's going to be my boyfriend? I've already dated all the guys in the bay, what if he's been blown away?!" she said frantically as she walked further into the house. "Blown away?" replied Beth. "I don't believe this!"

Pete sat crouched on the couch looking down at an angry Dan's head which peered up at him from the ground. "I can't believe you would do this to me again Pete. You're supposed to be my brother" said Dan. But Peter didn't reply. "You can't just ignore me", said Dan, as he lay on his back with everything but his head under the couch. Peter still didn't reply and just sat there shivering. Dan continued to yell at detective Baker, but soon his yelling turned into a song. "Peeteer, you kissed my wife. Iii want to kill you with a knife.. Peeteer, you ruined my life..." Peter was getting mad as blocked his ears, trying to block out the sound of Dan's awful voice. But Dan continued. "Peeteer you block your ears, because it's my words your fear, they will bring you to tears.. they will make you cry, Pete, I wish you really diid die." This caused Peter to break. "That's enough!" Pete yelled at his brother, as he beant over and threw his hands around Dan's neck. Dan tried to fight him off, but with his body being under the couch, he only had the use of his mouth. Dan spat in Pete's face. "Ewe!" squealed Peter as he burst into tears, "you spat on me." Dan managed to slide safely back underneath the couch.

Still hanging from the ceiling, Fitzy witnessed the attack. "Pete, you're under arrest for attemped murder" she said. "Noo" cried Pete and he put his head in his lap and cried like a girl. Fitzy reached for Pete's hands, and he moved them over to her. "We need handcuffs" said Fitzy. "Anyone in here got any handcuffs?" But there was no response. "Here, use this" said Belle as she untied the piece of string around her neck and handed it over to fitzy. "Your string... are you sure?" Martha said as she head appeared out of the hay. "Yeh, don't worry" Belle replied. "I've got a red one at home." Fitzy tied the string around Pete's wrists, and an exhausted Pete dropped to the floor landing on Ash, causing the freak to fart. "What was that?" asked Belle. "The excessive farter" replied Fitzy.

TO BE CONTINUED...

[Tasha]

:lol:

That was hilarious. Poor Peter. I cant believe Belle gave up her string, thats horrible, not the string Lol, Martha appeared again. This fic is really funny, i love it. Wheres Jacky baby??

Please update soon

[ILOVEASH]

NEVER SAY NEVER CHAPTER 10:

It was in the middle of the night, and Ash's constant farting had caused everyone at Sally's place to pass out. Everyone except for Kim, who was on the phone to Rachel. "Are you coming to save me?" Kim asked his fiance. "I'm just a bit busy right now" Rachel replied. "What are you doing that could possibly be more important than saving the world's muscliest 19 year old?" Kim asked. "I'm adopting babies from the hospital" she told him. "How many do you want?" Kim begun to reply, telling his curly haired fiance that he didn't want any kids, but she interrupted him and told him she would be right over to show him the babies she had collected so far.

The smell of farts was slowly dissapearing, as Ash hadn't done one in a while. Macca, Mattie, Alf, Jack and Martha were now awake and hoping that someone would come to rescue them soon. Suddenly, one of Martha's cows came running in, holding a bottle of alcohol which Martha had requested for her drinking contest. Alf, Jack and Martha looked happy as they were happy they had something to take their minds of the situtation. But as the cow ran over to where Martha lay, Macca grabbed the bottle out of the cows mouth and swallowed it in one gulp. "I hate you!" Martha yelled yet again in a country style texas accent. "I never want to see you again Macca." Macca ignored his sister as he caught sight of Rachel running in jollily, holding a picnic basket. "You'll never guess what I've got she said."

Stood in the doorway of Sally's house, Belle felt cold, especially now that she had no string aound her neck. She decided to huddle up in the hay. "Nooooo" Drew called as he entered to find Belle falling in the hay. It was too late, now there were eight of them stuck in the hay. But could Drew be the one to save them? "What the flamin' ell are you doing here?" asked Alf. "I was on my way to Amanda's, when the cyclone hit. I came to shelter from the storm" explained Drew, who was wearing his only shirt.

Suprised to see Rachel, Kim lifted his head above the hay. "What have you got?" he asked. Rachel opened her picnic basket and picked up a tiny baby. "Isn't it cool?" Rachel shouted. Kim looked shocked, as Rachel started to remove more and more babies out of the basket. "This is my favourite" she said as he held one up to show Kim. Drew moved towards Rachel to admire the babies, but as he breathed in through his nose, he started to suck them up. With his extrodinaryly large nostrils creating a vacum, the babies qucikly dissapeared up Drew's nose. "No!" cried Rachel, as she collapsed into the hay.

Beth ran in from outside. Holding a note in her hands, she yelled. "I don't believe this!" Mattie heard her mum and yelled back. "Mum, you've read that note a million times! Doesn't it ever get less unbelievable?" "No, this is a different note" Beth replied as she handed the note over to Fitzy. Fitzy unfolded the note, which read TIC TOC....

TO BE CONTINUED

[Tasha]

nooooooo...dont bring back the stalker. I thought she was gone once and for all Funny chapter though. Poor Martha and Jack, Macca took their alcohol More more more

[nicky1990]