Gypsy & Will Fan Posted November 20, 2006 Report Posted November 20, 2006 Right I have a problem with my boyfriend, its my 20th birthday soon and I'm having a party, and of course I want him and his little boy there, but his mum won't let him as she thinks I'm a bad influence on him. Should I just except the fact my boyfriend and his son, who I am beginning to love like he was my own child, won't be coming or should I tell him that I am really upset and that I really want him to attend.
*belle* Posted November 20, 2006 Report Posted November 20, 2006 Thanks. Yeah you're helping. It's good to be able to talk it through with someone as none of our friends know so I can't talk to them about it. I'm glad I'm helping, that's why I'm here Well it sounds like his mother's hanging on to him, when she knows deep down it's time to let go. I suggest you sit down and talk to him, tell him how you feel, and maybe try and tackle the problem together. Like have a chat with his mum together and try and make her see that you really want to be with him, and his little boy, and you're not going to lead them astray or anything like that.
Jess Posted November 20, 2006 Report Posted November 20, 2006 Right I have a problem with my boyfriend, its my 20th birthday soon and I'm having a party, and of course I want him and his little boy there, but his mum won't let him as she thinks I'm a bad influence on him. Should I just except the fact my boyfriend and his son, who I am beginning to love like he was my own child, won't be coming or should I tell him that I am really upset and that I really want him to attend. Does your boyfriend still live with his parents? I presume he's over-18, and stuff, so why should his mother influence him? Surely he's old enough to do his own thing, especially as he has a child as well. Has your boyfriend spoken to his mother about this? And explained that he does actually want to go and him and his little boy will be perfectly fine, and seeing as you're dating, going to your 20th is actually a pretty natural thing to want to do? If he has, and she still won't let him, don't put pressure on him, as this will make it all worse, but do say that you'd really like him to attend, but would still like to keep things civil with his mother. As *belle* says, I think it's a mother-son thing, they are notoriously over-proctective, but he is going to have to make his own decisions soon! Try and present an united front to his mother.
flutterby Posted November 20, 2006 Report Posted November 20, 2006 I read it as being the little boys mum, or is it his Grandma who thinks you're a bad influence on her son or Grandson? Im confused! :S
Gypsy & Will Fan Posted November 20, 2006 Report Posted November 20, 2006 It's his mum, the little boys grandma. I've just phoned himup, she answered and she told me that she doesn't want her son going out with a disabled girl, as she wants him to go out with a normal girl, and wants her grandson to bbe able to be cared for properly. Well I probably shouldn't of done this but I told her in no uncertain terms what I thought of her. I said a huge **** you, and boy did it feel good! How dare she! I'm ****ing furious! What reason is that? I've put up with that from my dad for 19 years of my life, and I'm not going through it again. No way.
flutterby Posted November 20, 2006 Report Posted November 20, 2006 Good for you, not too sure about how you expressed it but well done, you shouldn't have to stand for any discrimination!
Gypsy & Will Fan Posted November 20, 2006 Report Posted November 20, 2006 I expressed it just like that, and a lot stronger too. People who chat to me on MSN, know what I'm like. I'm sorry but I can't help having a disablity, and I have it milder than others do. It just irratates me that she can't see pass a metal object. Yes I swear, yes I drink, but thats all I don't kill people, I'm friendly, I love children, football and all the other things "normal" people do.
Skykat Posted November 20, 2006 Report Posted November 20, 2006 Ok so I have a sort of problem. Last April this boy who I am friends with told me on MSN that he fancied me and I also fancied him. We went to Pizza Hut once but said that we shouldn't tell our other friends. This is because one of our other friends had started saying that we had got off at a party even though she knew we hadn't as I spent the whole time with her. My other friends thought the idea of us together was rediculous. He then never mentioned going out again which I was sort of pleased about because when we did go out it was awkward and I didn't know what to say. Now he wants to go to town and I don't know what to do because what if it's awkward again. If you like this boy, nothing your friends say or do should make a difference. If you want it to work you should make it work in spite of them. As for being awkward, that's to be expected, you're new to this and its like anything, the more you do the easier it gets so bite the bullet and go for it. If you like him, you'll regret it if you don't. Good luck.xx Penny, When I read your original post I was going to tell you to go round to hers and speak to her. Let her get to know you a bit better and try to win her over but since your latest post I've totally changed my opinion. There is no excuse for discrimination and good on you for telling her where to go. I doubt it will have done your relationship with her any favours but I don't blame you one bit for defending yourself. The important thing now is where Dom stands on this. Have you told him what she said? Because if he's not in your corner 100% on this then you need to ask some serious questions. As someone already mentioned the best thing to do here is present a united front and Dom needs to stand up to his Mum and tell her she's out of order. It's possible that you'll never win her over now and by the sounds of it thats not a bad thing. The important thing now is your relationship with Dom and Dwaine, you need to just keep doing what you're doing and eventually she'll come round. So as for your party, on not uncertain terms should Dom miss it and he needs to know exactly why his mum upset you so much because he's the only person who can do anything about it. Come over to messenger if you want to talk to me bout it.xxx
Gypsy & Will Fan Posted November 20, 2006 Report Posted November 20, 2006 Dom is supporting me and is going to tell her she was wrong to say that, but I know his mum will bring on the waterworks and everything! She's like Pauline Fowler from EE that woman is!
Skykat Posted November 20, 2006 Report Posted November 20, 2006 I'm afraid theres not much you can do then hun, just stand your ground and keep Dom close. At the end of the day, she's in the wrong and Dom knows it, she'll either come round or come to accept it. Either way don't you dare go changing anything about yourself for her benefit. She wants to try and split you up then let her try and work all the harder at proving her wrong.xx
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