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Advice on boys


Guest ~Angel~

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Right girls, I've got a dilema of my my own <_<:(

A while ago my best friends brother said he liked me and asked me out. I told my best friend all about it and she was not happy. She thought he was too much of a "player" for me :rolleyes: plus the age gap (I'm 14 he's 17). So, being the fool I am, I told him no. Now he is going out with someone else and I seem to be taking it out my friend and am very bitter towards her. How do I stop being so bitter? *sigh*

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So that means you like him. The age gap doesn't really matter, does it? I mean Martha's 19 and Jacks 22 or 23 I think. i guess your friend just didn't want you going out with her brother because it might seem weird to her. I was in the same situation a while ago. My friends brother told me he liked me and if I went out with him and my friend didn't want me to so I didn't and now I've got the perfect boyfriend :wub: Try looking out for other guys and see if you can get over the thought of your friends brother...

I don't think I made any sense...

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At the end of the day chick, if you really liked this guy nothing she said would have made a difference. The fact is that some of what she said must have rung true, you must have been worried about something otherwise you'd have ignored her advice. The fact that you didn't tells me that you had doubts yourself. I can understand you're taking it out on your mate but I don't think you're really mad with her, you're mad with yourself because at the end of the day it was YOUR decision not to accept his offer. You have to appreciate that your friend was only looking out for you, I assume you'd do the same for her and shes in a pretty good position to know what her own brother's like. I think you just need to accept that you and her brother weren't meant to be and that theres no point losing your best friend over it.

Does that make sense?

Angel A, maybe because I'm older but I disagree with you that age doesn't matter. Maturity wise theres very little difference between a 19 and a 22 year old but there is a tremendous difference between a 14 year old and a 17 year old. At 17 he can do things legally that a 14 year old cannot do; he can drive, smoke, have sex, soon he'll be able to drink. His social life is completely different to a 14 year olds, his friends are different, he thinks and acts different. Maybe it can work and you're right 4 years isn't a particulary big gap once you're both adults as Jack and Martha are but it is huge when you're a teenager and one is nearly an adult.

I hope I'm not patronising anybody, its merely my opinion.

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At the end of the day chick, if you really liked this guy nothing she said would have made a difference. The fact is that some of what she said must have rubg true, you must have been worried about something otherwise you'd have ignored her advice. The fact that you didn't tells me that you had doubts yourself. I can understand you're taking it out on your mate but I don't think you really mad with her, you're mad with yourself because at the end of the day it was YOUR decision not to accept his offer. You have to appreciate that your friend was only looking out for you, I assume you'd do the same for her and shes in a pretty good position to know what her own brother's like. I think you just need to accept that you and her brother weren't meant to be and that theres no point losing your best friend over it.

Does that make sense?

I'll deny ever saying this but you're probably right. And its not really her fault so I should stop taking it out on her.

Thanks both of you. I think I'll think it through next time :P

EDIT: Kat theres something differnet about your username ..... have you changed it or am I just going crazy?

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Don't beat yourself up...we all wonder what might have been, its only with hindsight (and age) that you come to realise that if it was meant to happen...it would have.

I asked Dan to get rid of the capitals. Been meaning to ask him for ages because I hated it, felt like I was announcing my presence all the time and I finally remembered to ask him last night on msn. I'm all lower case now...so much better!

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Don't beat yourself up...we all wonder what might have been, its only with hindsight (and age) that you come to realise that if it was meant to happen...it would have.

I asked Dan to get rid of the capitals. Been meaning to ask him for ages because I hated it, felt like I was announcing my presence all the time and I finally remembered to ask him last night on msn. I'm all lower case now...so much better!

Very true, I'll try to remember that.

I knew it was different! :lol: at "Announcing your presence" :P

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Jealousy's a natural instinct but to me it boils down to whether you trust him or not. If you trust him you have to believe that he's safe around other girls and try to remember you have nothing to be jealous of. If you don't trust him you shouldn't be with him. I know its hard sometimes but jealousy has destroyed relationships for me in the past, I actually think it can be as destructive as cheating. If you trust him, don't let yourself be jealous because you have no reason to be, he's with you at the end of the day.

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1. Kat, you sound so wise.

2. I instantly recognized the difference in your name.. it made me shocked! It's very cool now, but I always got the picture that you were quite loud with "SKYKAT".. now you seem more quiet and normal. lol.

3. I back what Kat said.

But, about the jealousy issue...that confuses me.

Boys are great. Having a boyfriend does have it's advantages, but it has it's disadvantages - and being jealous is one of them. I wouldn't want to go out with someone if I were jealous whenever they spoke to another girl. Not only would I look like the ugly green eyed monster, but I clearly wouldn't be happy, and he'd probably find out. And that's never good.

Trust, even at our age, is important. Not because you're planning on having babies with the boy, just because you don't want to look like an overpossessive, jealous girl. It'll only end in fall outs between other girls.

I have trust with my boyfriend. I think it's because we've been together for over a year (too long) and obviously after that long you definitely become good friends too. I do trust him, he can hug other girls and not one bit of me is filled with jealousy. But if it ever was, that'd be it... I'd seriously have to think of ending it. I really like him, and we get on really well, but I wouldn't want to risk looking like a jealous fool, or ruining a friendship underneath the relationship.

Just imagine if you actually show your jealousy. What's he going to think? I'd hate my boyfriend to think anything bad of me, fair enough if he "went off" me and just liked me as a friend, but I'd truly hate it if he thought of me in a bad way. I know when we had an argument, and I annoyed him. He told me. It wasn't nice for me, even though I was angry at him in the argument, I found myself being angry at me for making him annoyed at me. (That confused me too lol) So I'd really hate it if I was jealous and he remembered me like that.

I'm sure you like this boy a lot, and don't want him to end up thinking you're a jealous girl. So you've got two decisions... 1. Keep working at it, get it into your head that it's you he wants to be with. Or 2, End it gracefully.

Only choose 2 if you're FULLY sure. And it's got to be bad if you're going to choose option 2. Don't do it likely.

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