Advice on boys

[Ashirr-Leigh]

Thanks Liz!

Think you were right .. the date went pretty well, had a second last night but with friends there too. I'm not going to get my hopes up too high but things are going really well so far!

[alexx]

^^ He may well not be, and I think in time I'll probably come to realise this. But, at the moment, I'm so angry with him, but I still want him so badly. I guess feelings like that don't just disappear in a matter of hours.

I know this is a girls room, but from a guys point of view, just leave him alone, he isn’t into ya, its better for you to just move on now – but why be pissed off with him about it? Doesn’t make sense - just because his feelings aren’t reciprocated!?

[~Lynd~]

^^ He may well not be, and I think in time I'll probably come to realise this. But, at the moment, I'm so angry with him, but I still want him so badly. I guess feelings like that don't just disappear in a matter of hours.

I know this is a girls room, but from a guys point of view, just leave him alone, he isn’t into ya, its better for you to just move on now – but why be pissed off with him about it? Doesn’t make sense - just because his feelings aren’t reciprocated!?

Why be pisssed of with him?Maybe becourse from what she's said and correct me if i'm wrong Jess,but the guy won't even talk to her about it!I'd be pretty pissed to especially if the guy was supposed to at least be a friend.If he's gonna be such a jerk he's not worth it,but i also know that it's easier said then done to get over someone.

[MarMar]

The way I see it: he was her friend, and gave her plenty of hints that he was interested in her, so when he mustered the courage to tell him, he didn't want to talk to her, and when he actually said he didn't feel the same he decided at the same time that he doesn't want to talk to her about anything. Some friend, huh?

[Ashirr-Leigh]

^Sounds like a jerk, totally not worth it.

[~Angel~]

It's my bf's birthday on Jan 19th and I don't know what to get him. Any suggestions?

[Jess]

^^ He may well not be, and I think in time I'll probably come to realise this. But, at the moment, I'm so angry with him, but I still want him so badly. I guess feelings like that don't just disappear in a matter of hours.

I know this is a girls room, but from a guys point of view, just leave him alone, he isn’t into ya, its better for you to just move on now – but why be pissed off with him about it? Doesn’t make sense - just because his feelings aren’t reciprocated!?

No, whether he likes me or not is beside the point...it's his decision and I respect it, doesn't mean I like it. I'm pissed off because he rambled about what a close friendship we have and how he can tell me anything (this was basically to pressure me into admitting my feelings, 'cos he's nosey) and then it takes my best friend (who has also known him forever) to text him to tell him that I'm the verge of a breakdown because he just ignored all my texts and all effort to get in touch with him. And then he has the nerve to ring up to ask if we can be friends again. That's why I was upset. And, to be honest, my self-esteem isn't the highest, but I've realised I'd rather be single then potentially be with someone who is capable of treating me like that. It made me seem him in a whole new light.

^^ He may well not be, and I think in time I'll probably come to realise this. But, at the moment, I'm so angry with him, but I still want him so badly. I guess feelings like that don't just disappear in a matter of hours.

I know this is a girls room, but from a guys point of view, just leave him alone, he isn’t into ya, its better for you to just move on now – but why be pissed off with him about it? Doesn’t make sense - just because his feelings aren’t reciprocated!?

Why be pisssed of with him?Maybe becourse from what she's said and correct me if i'm wrong Jess,but the guy won't even talk to her about it!I'd be pretty pissed to especially if the guy was supposed to at least be a friend.If he's gonna be such a jerk he's not worth it,but i also know that it's easier said then done to get over someone.

You're right, Lynd, it took my best friend to text him (several times) to tell him what state I was in because I felt like I was being totally ignored and that I had done something wrong, before he rang me. So, what, three weeks? They were the longest three weeks of my entire life and he didn't even have the courtesy to do it before Christmas...I just sat there miserable.

The way I see it: he was her friend, and gave her plenty of hints that he was interested in her, so when he mustered the courage to tell him, he didn't want to talk to her, and when he actually said he didn't feel the same he decided at the same time that he doesn't want to talk to her about anything. Some friend, huh?

Precisely, Merc. He likes this other girl apparently, but they're never gonna get anywhere if he can't act maturely about anything. Although, I keep having weird nightmares that the girl he likes is my best friend, 'cos I know they had a "thing" in the past.

^Sounds like a jerk, totally not worth it.

I know, but, and this sounds totally cliched, you can't help who you love. The totally stupid thing, is that I actually thought we had a future. But, I have a whole load of amazing friends who have been holding me up.

[Ashirr-Leigh]

^I understand .. glad your friends are helping you out though.

It doesn't sound stupid that you thought you had a future, just be glad that you realised what he was like now before anything happened, if it ever was to, you know?

[Skykat]

Oh Jeh, Jeh I'm so sorry. I feel awful because I think it was me who first suggested you could tell him how you're feeling.

*See people this is why you should never listen to somebody who doesn't do relationships because they don't know anything.

I completely understand that you'll be gutted about losing his friendship but I have to agree that this reaction suggests he's maybe not as much of a friend as you think he is. A real friend would make every effort to save the friendship no matter what. The only thing I can think of is that maybe if he doesn't feel the same way, he now feels a bit embarrassed and guilty that he's given you the wrong signals so he's doing that classic guy manouver (the don't speak, don't phone just hide behind a brick wall) rather than face you. That's a cowardly way to handle things though and again suggests that he's probably not the guy you think he is.

I know its no consolation but it is better in a way that you found this out about him now rather than have him string you along any more. I am so sorry though and I'm glad you have lots of close friends to help you with this and you can always vent on here.

I think I heard on a soap it might have been Home and Away or Neighbours that no guy is worth your tears and the one who is won't make you cry. I really like that saying because it leaves hope that there are decent guys out there and right now I prefer it to my other favourite saying that theres plenty more **** in the Mersey.

Either way this guy, this so called friend has treated you appalingly and whatever his excuse and however much you miss him, I'd not want to be friends with him again unless he walked naked through town on a busy saturday wearing a billboard saying I am a complete ****head and even then I'd think seriously about it. I'm so sorry you got hurt though.

[Jess]

^I understand .. glad your friends are helping you out though.

It doesn't sound stupid that you thought you had a future, just be glad that you realised what he was like now before anything happened, if it ever was to, you know?

Yeah. I definately prefer it this way. At least he can just stay as a failed crush as opposed to an ex-boyfriend, which, considering I'll have to see him again quite a few times, is probably best for both of us.

Oh Jeh, Jeh I'm so sorry. I feel awful because I think it was me who first suggested you could tell him how you're feeling.

*See people this is why you should never listen to somebody who doesn't do relationships because they don't know anything.

I completely understand that you'll be gutted about losing his friendship but I have to agree that this reaction suggests he's maybe not as much of a friend as you think he is. A real friend would make every effort to save the friendship no matter what. The only thing I can think of is that maybe if he doesn't feel the same way, he now feels a bit embarrassed and guilty that he's given you the wrong signals so he's doing that classic guy manouver (the don't speak, don't phone just hide behind a brick wall) rather than face you. That's a cowardly way to handle things though and again suggests that he's probably not the guy you think he is.

I know its no consolation but it is better in a way that you found this out about him now rather than have him string you along any more. I am so sorry though and I'm glad you have lots of close friends to help you with this and you can always vent on here.

I think I heard on a soap it might have been Home and Away or Neighbours that no guy is worth your tears and the one who is won't make you cry. I really like that saying because it leaves hope that there are decent guys out there and right now I prefer it to my other favourite saying that theres plenty more **** in the Mersey.

Either way this guy, this so called friend has treated you appalingly and whatever his excuse and however much you miss him, I'd not want to be friends with him again unless he walked naked through town on a busy saturday wearing a billboard saying I am a complete ****head and even then I'd think seriously about it. I'm so sorry you got hurt though.

Kat, don't worry - I needed to know for my own sake, really, because it was driving me insane thinking that he had feelings for me.

Lol, I have to admit, this hasn't done much for my own sense of security and trust in my guy antennae! I always go for the wrong ones! But, I think mistakes are valuable learning curves - so 'tis not all bad.

I'm glad I found out this way, too, because I would've hated it if we'd gone out and then he'd bitched to my friends about whatever (which he would've done, 'cos we all know the same people). And, at least this way, I haven't had much time to form a strong romantic attachment.

I've heard that saying, too. My best friend (female) and I just joke that we're gonna go and live in a cave together and forget about guys. It actually seems a pretty attractive prospect right now (even if I wouldn't be able to use my GHDS! )

TBH, I don't know what's gonna happen to our friendship. Even if we had a blinding row, we'd still have to see each other for two weeks in August, and be civil, so I don't really wanna talk to him at all. I know I'll end up saying something I regret.

It's weird, I'm saying all this stuff, and it's true, but it just feels like I'm saying it more to reassure myself than anything else. It wasn't until all this happened that I realised how needy I must be, to fall apart like this.

But, yeah, thanks for being here and caring. I appreciate it more than you realise. x