Advice on boys

[alexx]

That's a tough one, I have kind of the same problem.

I have a friend, and he has got to be gay. Now he responds to it a bit differently than Jamie. He kind of make fun of people saying they are gay too, just like people does about him, but I'l almost 100% sure it's just a defence.

He doesn't have a lot of guy friends, because the school he went to... well, none of the guys wanted to hang out with him because he's not into the regular guy's stuff (sports, football and cars...) but after we all changed schools I think it has gotten a lot better for him.

Some of the guys are still laughing at him and stuff (I actually think it's worse the way they ignore him. I can't even remember seeing him speak to any of the jocks, even if they're in our class) but the guys from the school I went to are a lot different (some of them, not all) and most of them are okay with him. I really think they are amazing. Even though they aren't exactly best friends a lot of the guys from my school don't have any problems with him at all. I know it sounds like I expect guys to have a problems with gays, but I don't. I just mean that it seems like most guys my age has a problem with it. It's a shame, but it's the way it is.

I don't think I have an answer to your problem, it's more like a sub-problem. Because he's constantly trying to convince everyone he isn't gay it's gonna make it so much harder for him when he decides to come out (assuming that I'm not wrong)

I wish there was something I could to help him

Sorry about the long, meaningless post.

I'd say something about it. haha

But hey these guys your talking about might not even be gay - I dunno if its the same in other countries, but in Australia I reckon there’s loads dudes where other countries have seem to refer to as 'camp', but that doesn’t mean gay…because they are all just himbos ha. – Oh yeah, remember Heath Ledger? - People thought he way Gay because he was seen with his hand on his hip and a limp wrist – when the media all asked him about it he was like…’so what, it’s a hand movement, I never thought about it – I’ve always done it, ask my mum!’ lol! It’s pretty funny how it’s all just media and what in general 'society' deems, that every teenager goes with, they don’t question it.

We did allllll about this is Sociology and Psychology, that’s why I thought I’d share and apparently, people act how they are told they behave, as in if people tell them they are a certain 'thing' or whatever, they end up acting that way. So its the same as, if someone perceives someone as a geek and shy, even if they don’t see themselves that way, and aren’t that way at home, at school they will 'become' shy and geeky because that’s how everyone perceives them to be. It’s pretty interesting hey.

I forgot how harsh teenagers can be to each other. But I reckon, if he says he isn’t Gay – then don’t question it, imagine how annoying it would be if you were told you were something you weren’t constantly – and even teased about it, it would **** your mind up and you could even end up questioning yourself simply because people want you to be a certain way (by telling he/she what they think they are) – and is psychology it was reported to be really psychologically damaging.

On the flip side, if he is Gay and in denial, then he's obviously beating himself up about it - so he'll 'come out' when hes ready...it might not even be at school, so it wouldtn matter either way..

[~Angel~]

I really depends what you've fallen out over. Has your boyfriend done something to upset her or does she just not like him?

He's my boyfriend, obviously I fancy him but so does she and it's too complicated to explain. i didn't tell her to back off or anything we just kinda fell out over him...

[claire_louise]

I really depends what you've fallen out over. Has your boyfriend done something to upset her or does she just not like him?

He's my boyfriend, obviously I fancy him but so does she and it's too complicated to explain. i didn't tell her to back off or anything we just kinda fell out over him...

Talk to her. It's not worth losing your friendship over, but at the same time it would be nice to save your relationship if you can. It may still be possible to have the best of both worlds!

[~Angel~]

I've tried. I texted her, she didn't reply back. I called her, she hung up on me. I tried to talk to her face to face, she walked off on me...

[~Angel~]

This thread feels so lonely... I'll liven it up a little. Me and my boyfriend broke up a while ago but I'm over it

[Ashirr-Leigh]

How much does it suck to be in love with someone when they don't feel the same way back?

There's a topic that I'm sure will liven up this thread a bit!!

I was seeing this guy for a couple of months, we were friends for a couple of months before that and we just became really close. He was great with my daughter and that whole situation and he honestly made me feel the happiest I had in a long, long time. We spent, like, everyday together in those couple of months and things went pretty fast. So yeah, I fell in love. But then I got a text from him saying that he doesn't think he can handle having a girlfriend right now but he wants us still to be friends. As much as I was gutted, I didn't want to lose him as a friend so we made it work. This was about a month and a half ago. I see him all the time because my best friend goes out with his brother. I'm up his house all the time and we're still close.. and it's just so hard! I'll go a few days without texting him or seeing him and I'll feel so much better, like maybe I can get over him but then he'll call me or we'll see each other and I just end up crying later that night. It's horrible! It'd be so much easier if he was being really mean or something, lol.

At the time we 'broke up' he said he doesn't know what will happen in the future so I've held onto the fact that something might still happen between us. We've spent the night together a few times since the 'break up' but we both knew what it was, just for fun or whatever. But yeah.. my best friend's mum says that she thinks he still likes me and that he's just scared to get into a relationship because he just got out of a really serious one. Uft, it's just difficult. If I keep on seeing him as a friend, it's going to be harder to get over him, I know that. But I don't want to lose him as a friend. He means alot to me and anyway, it'd be too difficult what with my best friend dating his brother. It wouldn't work, I'd still hear about him and it'd just be too hard.

Aargh!! Sorry about the huge rant.. just needed to vent it a bit somewhere. You think my feelings for him will go away? I don't particularly want them too, I'd just rather he felt the same but if that can't happen then.. I don't know. I need to do something about it!

[-Jade-]

Aww, sounds like a horrible and complicated situation.

The thing is with these situations is you never know... it's like, do you hold on or let go? It's such a hard decision, I'm sure you'll come to the right one in the end, but always remember that you're the most important person so take care of yourself first! Maybe a talk with him will help... it sounds like he's a great friend so he'll probably understand if you explain how you're feeling. Ask him where you stand so that you can move on either way.

[Nicom]

Yea, I agree with Jade. I think you should ask him just so you can get on with your life. He might feel the same way, and then he ought to get his act together and decide to stick with you, if not... then you'll know that you have to get over him.

Good luck.

[Skykat]

I already think I know the answer to this but I thought I'd get opinions on it anyway. Theres a guy I've been good friends with for years, he's about the nicest, sweetest, kindest guy you'd ever meet. He's been a great friend to me, he's really loyal and protective and also insanely shy. As far as we know he's never had a girlfriend.

Recently though I've been getting real hints from him that he likes me. It used to be an ongoing joke in our group that I should go out with him cause he needed a girlfriend to boost his confidence and I needed someone I could rely on until I put a stop to the joke because it was getting unfair. The thing is he's an amazing guy, he has a great body but he's not the best looking. I'm not so shallow that I'd not contemplate it because I don't find him good looking but theres just no spark there, no chemistry.

He's so shy and I'm pretty outgoing, he's scared of everything and I'm into dangerous stuff. I just can't see it working but everyone keeps telling me (all our mutual friends) how much he likes me and why don't I give it a go because I need a guy who isn't going to let me down. I'm just not convinced though.

I honestly don't think there's enough there to make it work and I'm pretty sure I'd end up hurting him or hurting me by trying not to hurt him, if that makes sense. I'm also not sure I even want a guy, I've been happily single for a while now and I was fine until my accident. Being stuck in though, I've been really jealous of both my sisters in having their boyfriends around and he has been there for me loads so I've started thinking maybe I wouldn't mind a boyfriend.

I think I'm being selfish though and if I was to go out with him it would be for the wrong reasons and I'd end up really hurting him and maybe losing a good friendship. He's not the type of guy to hold a grudge, nor does he fall out with people easily but he is sensitive and I'm not sure if things would ever be the same with him again. I've pretty much made my decoision but theres a tiny part of me that says, it could work and a lot of my friends saying the same thing. I'm just not sure it's worth the risk though.

[~Lynd~]

It sounds like you already know the answer.If you're sure it wouldn't work out it's not worth the risk of losing what sounds like a good friendship,IMO.It wouldn't help either of you.