Support Group

[Gypsy & Will Fan]

Tam, this may seem harsh but are you feeling OK?

You actually want to physically starve yourself after Kat's just told you about her own ordeals. Anerexia isn't something you can turn on and off like a switch its something that takes years and years to get over, in fact you never do.

Being thin isn't the be all or and all, I am not thin I am a size 14 and getting bigger by the day but I don't give a ****, I'm having fun for the first time for years, I'm going to watch my beloved Liverpool home and away, eating countless pies at the matches, I'm going out to dinner with my new boyfriend and eating and drinking him under the table. I am HAPPY and I'm putting on weight.

As my MSN friends know ( Dan, Di Frankie etc) I am always telling them I'm having a few Gin and Tonics and lots of chocolate.

Being thin isn't going to make you happy. I'm going to give you an example here, Posh Spice is thin and she always pouts, scowls and looks like she needs a good night out with Sky and me. She looks ill and unhealthy. Compare her to Coleen M (Wayne rooney's girl) who is a size 12 and looks happy radiant and a right laugh, I'd know who I'd rather be.

Another thing being thin isn't the most importnant thing in the world, being healthy happy and above all living is. Think about all the people in the world who have more important things to worry about then if there fat or not. Like the people who have lost loved ones in the wars, bombings and tsnamis.

And as for your family teasing you, well if that was me I would tell them where to go and it wouldn't be pretty, your a size 12 and their moaning. I'd like them to have to bring up me when I was younger, a girl in a wheelchair, who isn't particulary bright or the perfect child and all buy herself.

From what I gather you got great grades in school, your a size 12 which is a perfect size for a perfect height and if your parents can't exept that then thats their problem its not their problem and its not yours.

I'm sorry if I'm being harsh but it has to be said. Theres more important things in life than weight, charities, children, life, friends, family, helping others and above all having a good time. My philsophy on life is, its for living not worrying about how many ****ing calories are in a ****ing lettuce leave.

As I'm writting this I'm munching on a huge chocolate sundae and its bloody gorgeous and I don't feel the outest bit gulity.

[Pierced Musie]

I feel like a total failure at the moment im 5ft8 and a half nearly and weigh 12 and a half stone omg that is so fat and all my family think im overweight and big, im big boned plus me being so tall and fat as well, I look like a giant , my family was going to a wedding and i wanted to wear heels and omg my sister and mum was like *oh please dont wear those, your already tall and big enough it looks silly to be wearing heels with your height and weight, and now my friend she is a waif she is like between 5 and a half stone to 6 stones and she is 164cm, so she is very thin but im so jealous i wish i was like her! she was joking to me and saying i should give some of my fat to her because she wants to gain a stone, Im sick of being fat and cant stop my greedy mouth from eating and being so dam lazy i really sometimes wish i was anorexic so I could get thinnier more faster or maybe have a gastric implant, as thats the only available option

As the saying the thinner the winner!

This will probably paint me as a bitch but someone needs to say it. This is not the first time you have come out with these things. Take note of the two things in bold please.

1. You showed no consideration to members of this board. It has been discussed before and revealed that a few of the members have been through anorexia. Also you showed no consideration to any of the younger member here. From what you have written, you may end up influencing younger members into thinking your way. 12 stone & 7 pounds is nothing. Depending on your body frame, which you have said is big boned, then this is actually close to your correct weight.

2. The thinner the winner? Again you showed no consideration to the members of this board. This is also a key influence towards anorexia in slightly over weight teens. Pick up a newspaper and read that thinner is not a winner anymore. Women used to have curves and, thankfully, it is going back to that way of thinking. Didn't you see that one fashion designer BANNED skinny models a few months back?

As a 20 year old who is just over 16 stone (and has been close to 20 stone before), I disagree. The only reason I am on the GI diet is because of another part of my health. I'm actually happy now with my weight.

Just think about the influence your posts will have on others on the board, okay?

And just to take away the bitchiness, I am giving you some advice:

1. Next time your family wants to make such petty remarks, you stand up to them and tell them it is your body and you will do whatever the hell you want to do and wear what you want. Looks are not everything these days anyway.

2. Always eat breakfast, lunch and dinner. Never cut these three out and for a snack, eat fruit or a few squares of chocolate (dark chocolate is best).

3. In one of the books I have on GI, it says that 1 - 2 hours of window shopping is the equal to a full excerise. And yes, I have found this to actually be true. Also the doc I saw told me that you don't have to do a set routine of exercises. Pick a song or two that you love and go mad. Dance like a crazy person, jump around and have fun. This is about equal to 45 minutes of work out.

[MarMar]

Excellent post, Gypsy&Will Fan! and Muse (ETA)

[Pierced Musie]

Merc: Well done on taking a step towards help. I'll admit that therapy never suited me but then, the woman told me conflict in the family was good. I would really love to bitchslap her now, after the last few months . Personally I would try out talking to the priest. You may actually feel more relaxed with a priest.

Only you can decide which route to take. Perhaps trying them all out would be best?

Tam: Honey, there ain't nothing wrong with second helpings. When it comes to special occassions (Xmas), it is usually a race to the table for seconds. With Dad holding me back while he helps himself, muwah.

Not all food is sinful. Meat is protein so seconds of that is a bonus. Second helpings of veg is also a good thing to do because it is healthy.

[MarMar]

Merc: Well done on taking a step towards help. I'll admit that therapy never suited me but then, the woman told me conflict in the family was good. I would really love to bitchslap her now, after the last few months . Personally I would try out talking to the priest. You may actually feel more relaxed with a priest.

Only you can decide which route to take. Perhaps trying them all out would be best?

Talking to a priest is out of question, as he most probably will tell me to turn to God for help. A God I don't believe in.

I'm thinking that I want to go to the group-sessions, but maybe also to the psychologist, as I want a diagnosis. A friend suggested I might have bipolar disorder after we've talked a lot lately. The symptoms all check out and I did this test psychologists and psychiatrists use which indicates I've got it.

[Skykat]

Excellent posts Penny and Tainted Muse.

Tam at the risk of sounding like I'm getting to you I really think you need to speak to somebody. Either you do have a serious problem with your weight and body image via your obsession with being thin in which case you need to speak to somebody before it gets out of hand. Or you have a problem in that you want to shock people around you into reacting with your posts, ie you want their attention and that too can have serious implications if you don't speak to somebody.

I have to admit your original post really offended me and I was even more offended that you thanked me for the advice but then basically ignored everything I'd said.

It seems to me that you don't actually want our advice you want us all to feel sorry for you. Sorry if that's harsh but you've really made me feel like crap just now and I feel like responding. Petty but what the hell, go ahead, ban me...

Merc I think you should do both. You'll get an awful lot from both options.

[Di]

It seems to me that you don't actually want our advice you want us all to feel sorry for you. Sorry if that's harsh but you've really made me feel like crap just now and I feel like responding. Petty but what the hell, go ahead, ban me...

I'm Deff, on you side Kat!! Tam! you need to bloody grow up. Really think what you write before you post.

[Pierced Musie]

I'm going to admit something that I haven't admitted to anyone. On my journal I wrote about how I woke up Friday morning feeling different. It was like something clicked in my brain and had left me feeling... normal. I felt confident and like a human being. A feeling that I hadn't felt in years.

Thursday night was actually a different story. I was a wreck and my thoughts were not nice. I was actually beginning to come around to the idea of making myself sick. The thought in my mind was I could just do it for a couple of months, just to look a little bit more weight. Then the thoughts went to cutting myself until finally, I looked in the mirror and felt so tempted to pick up a knife and end it.

Not even Shane & Casey, who I know a few on here think they are just an online joke but aren't, could stop the thoughts.

Yet I woke up feeling different. And Friday morning turned out to be the best morning of my life.

Tam, trust me on this. Thinner does not mean confidence.

As a side note, I booked an appointment with my doc to discuss one last thing. I plan on explaining about Shane & Casey (voices only) because I just need to know if it means more. This is one thing I know I should have told her about two years ago but never had the courage to say it...

[MarMar]

It seems to me that you don't actually want our advice you want us all to feel sorry for you. Sorry if that's harsh but you've really made me feel like crap just now and I feel like responding. Petty but what the hell, go ahead, ban me...

I'm Deff, on you side Kat!! Tam! you need to bloody grow up. Really think what you write before you post.

It's not that she needs to grow up, but get help if she's got this attention need... It can really get out of hand. She entitled to post here for help and other people's thoughts, just as anyone else. What's not ok is to say thanks for advice and not take it at all, but stomp on it - IMO.

[Nicom]

Excellent posts Penny and Tainted Muse.

Tam at the risk of sounding like I'm getting to you I really think you need to speak to somebody. Either you do have a serious problem with your weight and body image via your obsession with being thin in which case you need to speak to somebody before it gets out of hand. Or you have a problem in that you want to shock people around you into reacting with your posts, ie you want their attention and that too can have serious implications if you don't speak to somebody.

I have to admit your original post really offended me and I was even more offended that you thanked me for the advice but then basically ignored everything I'd said.

It seems to me that you don't actually want our advice you want us all to feel sorry for you. Sorry if that's harsh but you've really made me feel like crap just now and I feel like responding. Petty but what the hell, go ahead, ban me...

I have to say I agree.

Apart from the banning Kat part, which you just aren't allowed to do. We need our number 1 librarian. lol.

What you said in your first post was wrong and a bit scary. But, you can't take that back, so I won't moan about that. What I am going to moan about is the fact that you ignored Kat when she expressed the fact that you were soo wrong! You just continued going on about how Anorexia would solve your problems, when you had someone who clearly felt passionate and had some history in the issue giving you advice. Kat may aswell have said complete ramble for all the difference it made. You should have understood by the response me and Kat gave that you clearly weren't handling this great... but you didn't.

Now, as Kat said, that either means you've got problems that you need to get help on, or you're just going on for the sake of it. I know that if I said something that offended someone or clearly hit a nerve, I'd shut up, whether I still felt the same way or not.

I don't know what's going on... and I know this is harsh, but the way you went on after Kat's post, I don't think I care anymore. I am deeply sorry if you genuinely feel this way, and the truth is I don't know all about this illness, but I know it's not a thing to wish upon yourself.