Support Group

[Di]

Aww, gosh Frankie. I have not had anyone close to me die before. So I can't imagine what your going through. Thinking of you though hun.

Tom has sorted his funeral out, I made him do it, as I want him to have what he want's and not what I asumme he'd want. It not a nice thing to do but, I reccomend we all should think about what we want.

[Skykat]

Frankie, I am so sorry. That sounds like such a shallow thing to say when you've lost somebody close to you but it's all I can think of to say and I mean it. Your friend sounds like a great person and you sound like you're dealing with things really well. Anything I think of to say sounds like a cliche so I'm going to refrain from saying too much except that you're being really brave about things and I'm thinking of you.

Mortality is a funny thing. I grew up as a strong Catholic in a family of devout Catholics but when I was fourteen one of my best friends died of sudden heart failure and she was the fifth girl in her family to die like that. Her Mum was one of the most amazing, strongest women I have ever met in my life. Five daughters lost in sudden circumstances from heart failure, I'd never have coped but she believed it was God's will. There and then I stopped believing in God because I couldn't comprehend that any God could inflict so much pain on one family. Now, doing all the extreme sports that I do and no longer going to church or doing anything I was bought up to do I feel sometimes like I'm challenging my mortality, tempting fate almost and it scares me but not to the point where I'd stop doing it.

I think I'm rambling as per usual, your post just got me thinking though. How much of life do we waste not doing the things we want to be doing? Life's too short is such a cliche but it's so true. I think I'm going to have to look up this Helen House and try and put things into perspective. So thanks for your post and I am truely sorry about your friend.

[Ashirr-Leigh]

Frankie, I'm really sorry for your loss.

I think I sort of know what you mean though .. I used to think of death as like the worst possible thing but I don't really think it is anymore. I don't exactly believe in God, but I believe that's there's something, a way that things are supposed to go. So I know it sounds horrible to say that your friend was supposed to die now but that's the only way things can make sense sometimes.

A few months ago I went to my friend's mum's funeral and it had been her wish that no one wear black or anything and although it was sad it was just soo .. enlightening. That probably sounds really cheesy or something but it was just such an eye opener.

Death doesn't always have to be a sad thing..

[carmelle]

Frankie im sorry for your loss.

Death is probably one of the only things in life that is certain for everyone. For some they know when it gets closer and for others they probably will never see it comming. You can't really know when you're time will come, but you just know that it will.

You never know how long you've got, so you should just make the most of each day.

I also agree with Di when she said that we should all think about what we want in terms of our own funerals. After all it's our lives, and no one will know it better than us.

Im not saying that we should all be getting morbid thinking about what ends we're going to meet.

Yes funerals are sad occassions, cause you've just lost someone, but it should also be a celebration of that person's life. It's your life, so why not celebrate it your way?

I think i may have lost the point of what i was trying to say when i started this post, but the main thing was that i dont think funerals have to be all black and gloom, unless you want it that way. The most imporant thing is that the person deserves the send of they deserve and would want. Everyone deserves some kind of a dignified ending and if it's what they wanted, all the better. That's my opinion

Hope i made sense.

[Skykat]

Just wanted to put a quick note in here to say that my Mum had her first set of test results back today and they're pretty certain they managed to remove most of the tumour and the operation was a success. So far the steroids seem to be keeping any hormonal changes in place and while her sight hasn't improved it hasn't deteriorated either. She'll have to have another check in three months, probably an overnight stay when they'll stop the steroids to see if there is any hormonal imbalance and there's also a risk that in doing that they might trigger any of the tumour the Surgeon missed so theres still more waiting. For now though, things are pretty positive. Also my Dad is back in work and seems to be holding down his job okay so fingers crossed he'll stick with it and start covering the bills again so I can start rebuilding my travelling account back up. Thanks for everyones support and good wishes over the past few difficult months.

[Marieh]

^That's so great I'm sure it will be all right

[Skykat]

Thanks Marieh, its a huge relief...means I can start planning my escape again!

[Traceve]

Frankie, I am so sorry for your loss Hun *hugs*

Skykat, that is great news!

I know in this thread (or should I say forum) that members respect one anonther and do not judge, and please tell my by saying that I didnt jinx it

I am beginging to ..how you ay fancy, someone that I have known for about a year but have only begun to think of them as more then a friend. I know its wrong and I shouldnt because she is way older then me. Is it normal to think these kind of thoughts?

[Marieh]

Of course it is How much older do you mean? And yeah, there's many poeple I've known whos been friends for years then get together, some of them is still together and some of them is ver very good friends

[~Lynd~]

Yes i'd say so,everyone's been in that position i think.At the moment i think about someone in a way i know i shouldn't but you can't help how you feel.

I don't know what else too say,maybe tell them or wait a while and see iif you still feel the same..feelings change.