Support Group

[Tamxxx]

My Dad is a doctor and he recently bought home one of those BMI Calculators home. And I thought that for a bit of fun I would put in my details. Turns out I'm underweight, but the thing is I don't feel underweight. The healthy range is between 18.4 to 26 or so and I am currently 16.5. I didn't tell my dad because I'm self conscious about how I look. I didn't think the it was right so did it again, but the same result came up.

I am 13 and 14 in a few months, I have a normal body of a teenager except, I'm not as developed as most of my friends. I don't feel too skinny because like most girls my thighs are big and I have a pudgy stomach. And I am self conscious about wearing bikinis without a sun shirt.

A few of my friends they're not overweight they are just a bit pudgy. And if I make comments around them like it's not fair that it's so hard to lose weight in comparison to gaining it they look at me all weird and say "Not like you would no". And this offends me but I am very emotional so it might just be me.

I get really mixed emotions because I do ballet and a few weeks ago my ballet teacher said to me "Megan have you gained weight?" being the emotional girl I am I cried. And my teacher immediately started apologizing.

I'm really confused :S And don't know what to do.

I think you are very lucky to be underweight I want to be skinny so just be happy that you are my friend when she was 15 she weighed something like 34kg( 5.5 stones) and she was was 5'5 or something she was like soooooooo skinny, and she said no matter what she ate she couldnt gain she wanted to gain weight and got a bit upset when people accused her of being anorexic etc

But i was like Omg if your skinny your lucky! be happy girl i am 16 years old and weigh a friggen 80kg( 12 and a half stone) at 5'8 and i would do anything to be your weight especially if i was naturally skinny i would be so happy

[Cerise]

Tam: It isnt great to be underweight! cant you get that into your head?

And Megan(I hope its okay to call you that): Your not too Underweight. My advice is Talk to your Dad about it. Just try and increase your Weight a Bit, but do talk about it.

[MarMar]

I don't really see much of a problem being "underweight" when you're still at an age where your body develops - especially not when you eat enough and claim to not be as developed as other kids your age. I don't trust that BMI - it doesn't take all matters into consideration.

However, there is a limit as to how "underweight" you can be for it to not be problematic. if your dad is a doctor and hasn't been concerned with your weight, I doubt there's anything wrong with you.

[MarMar]

Just had T help me write another e-mail to the uni-psychologist. I couldn't do it myself.

It makes me so angry that they're "offering" help to students with problems, but can't even be bothered to e-mail these students back. I mean - here we are, students with psychological problems, I know, for me, asking for help is a huge and very hard step, so I guess it is for others as well. Not only do I have to admit to myself that I do have a problem, but I suddenly have to do the same with another human being - a human being that is not someone I've ever talked to, someone I've never met, someone who could easily judge me and think less of me, even though he's never met me. It's awfully humiliating - asking, pleading for help, and not even getting a response to know that the e-mail has been read.

[Cal]

Tamxxx: I was underweight back in September, and I can tell you, I didn't consider myself "Lucky". I was brought into hospital because of it (and because of other stomach problems). They put a tube up my nose to feed me, that's how underweight I was. I weighed just 8 stone, being 5'9 and male, that's not so good. I weighed 9.5 stone just a month before that.

Being "skinny" wasn't fun. Just be happy with who are, not what you look like.

Mar: I hope you get a reply soon, as I can understand how frustrating that could be. You took a huge step (and one that you should be very proud of!), the least they could do is reply! I hope everything works out well for you.

[Skykat]

Ms.Megan. Your BMI says you're underweight. Mar's right, different people develop at different stages, people have different metabolisms. If you eat normally, the equivilent or more than three meals a day then I feel you have nothing to worry about.

Tam, you and I are not going to bet into your body issues. You know what I think.

Mar, its a difficult time you're going through, asking for help is a huge thing and I appreciate how frustrating is is for you that you've not heard anything. I'm glad T is helping you with stuff and I really hope for your sake you hear something soon. Not sure what else to say but I'm on MSN, you know where I am if you want to sound off bout anything.xx

[Skykat]

What classes as an acoholic?

My Dad has always drank, my whole life. he drinks every night. There's been times when he has given it up for whatever reason but it has been a physical challenge but I've never thought he had a problem till now. two years ago he started getting depressed and his drinking increased, about a year ago he was diagnosed with clinical depression. I accepted his drinking as his way of coping, as part of his life. As his way of coping with my Mum having a brain tumor. she had her operation in December and was given the all clear. Since then he's been so happy, almost like he's born again. he's actually drinking more now than he did before, a lot more but it seems different because he's so happy as a drunk now where before he was so miserable. Tonight he invited his friend from uni round for dinner but by three he was steaming drunk but refused to come home. by the time the guests arrived at 7 he was annialated, made such a show of himself and went to bed. I cancelled my plans for a night out to stay in and support my Mum who was sobbing her heart out. I'm now seriously worried that he has a drinking problem. Because he's a happy drunk, does that mean he's not a drunk? I'd appreciate any advice.

[ms.megan]

Thanks everyone I have spoken to my dad and he said I have nothing to worry about because I am basically a copy of him but I'm a girl. And this happened to him as well.

As for you Tam I think you need some help, if you are so unhappy about your weight, do something about it! Don't go telling people you want to be anorexic, it offends everyone, and telling me I'm lucky to be underweight you have no right to. I think that if someone has posted a topic about them being underweight you should just steer clear of the thread for a little while. Or maybe even not go into this thread, so then you don't offend people with your opinions of weight. You have offended meand many other people.

[Marieh]

Tam: You know there is actually people who's insecure about them being to skinny/overweight and you pointing out that you want to look like that etc etc makes people sick. Lately I've only seen posts from you about weight, and I'm getting pretty sick of it too.

Skykat: I don't know how to explain it, but you can't really say he's an alcoholic, she's not etc etc.. You can have one who's only for a period of time (meaning he can drink for 3 months non stop, then don't drink, then start drinking again on a regular basic and going back to old habits over and over again) and then you have those who can't even have a sip before they go off the rails.

Does your dad drink 24/7, is he at home drinking instead of work (if he has one) do you think he's whole life is about drinking?. And about your mother getting sick etc. People deal with things differently and many use alcohol instead of fasing the truth.

As for me, I'd say my parents drink to much, they're not alcoholics, but I do think they have a problem when they drink atleast two beers a day (after 10:00 pm though, and more in the weekends/partys) but them drinking alcohol does not affect me. They don't yell/hit me when they're drunk, and I kinda find it easyer to talk to them after they've had a beer or two. But what did effect me was when I was 13 and drank a beer (I didn't even drink the whole thing) my dad gave me this HUGe lecture while he was drinking a beer, then he sendt me up to my room, took my computer/tv/mobile etc etc, whent downstairs refused to talk to me and continued with another beer after he was done with the yelling and calling my mum who was in Tromsø. I'll always remember him doing that, and I'll never do that to my child if *he does it because it sends out mixed signals.

Hope you get what I'm trying to say

[Skykat]

Yeah I do thanks Marieh. For a start things are exaggerated in my house because my Mum can't drink. On the few occasions she has drunk she's collapsed and had a fit so she avoids alcohol altogether. My Dad has always drunk, he finishes work goes the pub, has a few then goes to bed bout 8.00. Recently tho he's been drinking all the time, by that I mean drinking till the pubs throw him out and on weekends drinking from pub opening at 11.00. He's still in work but I think he knows if he quits work now, having just had six months off with depression he'll quite possibly lose his job. I don't think he's at the point where he'd pick alcohol over his livlihood but he is at the point of picking alcohol over his wife, his friends and family. Bear in mind this is the same wife whose brain tumour caused him to have a nervous breakdown. He's so in love with her, they're almost like newlyweds most of the time but he still picks alcohol over her. Thats what worries me.