Jump to content

Support Group


Dan F

Recommended Posts

  • Replies 3.8k
  • Created
  • Last Reply
Posted

I am so sick of being lied to. I'm now 100% comvinced my Dad has an alcohol problem, he can't go a single day without getting pastered, he's even stopped coming home to get changed now he just does straight the pub and on weekends hes there from near enough opening time or thereabouts.

Tonight he came in drunk again and Mum sent him to bed but he came down an hour later shouting the odds because she won't make him cheese on toast. Then he sat Mum and down and promised he was going to stop drinking. Thing is though I've heard it all before and I just don't believe him anymore.

I've got my round the world trip planned down to the minutest detail but I still haven't booked anything, even though I have the money. How can I in all honesty leave my Mum to deal with him alone? She's still having hormone treatment from the brain tumour and her moods are up and down enough. Most of the time I'm the one who brings my Dad home and gets him to bed. How can I really contemplate going away and leaving her to it?

I'm not really looking for advice, kind of just needed to get this off my chest. I've become a practical recluse because I'm putting every penny I earn away but I've not been going into work because I'm so tired. I'm binge eating crap rather than cook, I never go out and never see my friends. Partly because I need to save money but also because I don't trust my parents to look after themselves when I'm not there. I'm just so sick of being my parent's parent. When the hell do I get a life?

Posted

:(

I have no advice. I suck at advice, there is not much point in me being here. All that's happened is that I feel sorry for you, I've spammed the board with a useless post, and I fancy cheese on toast. Damn it.

You've got to do what you feel comfortable with. Me saying "Go get a life! It's not your job!" probably wouldn't have any effect on you, as you'd not feel right in leaving your parents. Fair-do's, that's a lovely, kind thing to do. What you're doing sounds very nice, and very selfless. But, you have to have time for yourself. Isn't there anyone else you could share looking after your parents with? Siblings, family, family friends? Just until it gets a little easier, then maybe you would feel happier leaving them whilst you go on your trip.

I don't know... I told you I was crap at this... But all I can say is I hope it gets better for you.

Posted

I freak out when I get near the end of my prescription. I have to pay for mine and I seriously go insane if I forget and have no money.

Luckily Ma helps out.

The financial aspect is quite worrying. Mum and Dad pay for my prescription every month. My tablets are a life-long prescription, which sucks because it costs €90 every month for the damn tablets. :(

Posted

Thanks for replying though Nicole and Mar on MSN. Like I say I wasn't really wanting advice, just to vent and now I'm going to vent again.

Dad was sent home from work yesterday for being drunk and now faces a disciplinary. We had a huge blazing row and this morning he rings me sobbing, swearing he's going to get help but I'm beyond believing him.

I've now handed in my notice at work and taken on a lesser paid job but one that guarantees money every month (my current job was commision based) just in case he loses his job, someone in the family can still pay the mortgage.

My boss was lovely about it which makes me feel so much worse. I've postponed my trip plans and emailed the travel agent about the possibility of switching my planned route around so I can go next March instead but I'm still feeling pretty gutted about it.

Both my nans are not well, one is in and out of hospital with a problem to her nervous system and the other has just been diagnosed diabetic and is struggling to adjust. My youngest sister is doing her A-Levels and my other two sisters live away, one in Ormskirk, she comes home when she can but she's a children's nurse so works insane hours and the other is in Leeds but she's adopted and having some issues with her birth parents at the moment so this is the last thing she needs to deal with.

I've also had an email yesterday about a double malfunction fatality at Bridlington Parachute Centre in Yorkshire where I've been a fair few times and even though I only knew the guy by sight it still really eats you when you read something like that. I always get the worst nerves going back up after hearing about skydiving accidents, its the only sport where you have to consiously save your own life every time and put your life in the hands of some equipment. I accept the risks otherwise I wouldn't do it but it still makes you think when something goes wrong. I wonder if I'm being selfish taking such huge risks with my life when I know full well my family couldn't cope without me but my sports really are the only escape I get. Theres something about doing something you're scared of that makes you feel so good about yourself and the feeling when you save your own life and then sit under a parachute 4,000 feet up is undescribable. I'm not sure I can ever give that up, still I know I'll be terrified on the next descent I make because fatalities weigh in your mind whether you want them to or not.

I feel better for ranting all that, probably not the right thread but seems more suited to in here somehow.

Posted

I think it's good you posted in here, Skykat, where people are willing to listen and help :)

I only wish I was better at giving advice!! It's certainly not your fault that your dad has this problem, but I think it's really great of you to give up your job and take the other one to try and help your family, it just shows them what a caring person you are and how lucky they are to have you :) I'm really sorry about the possibility of not getting your trip, I've read all about how you're looking forward to it ... But maybe if you do postpone it, by the time you do get to go then you'll be able to enjoy it more, feeling better about what you're leaving behind?

As for your sports, i don't think it's selfish at all - from what I can tell you already do so much for your family, taking on more than is really your responsibility, and you have every right to enjoy yourself. Your family are lucky to have you around, and I'm sure they don't think you're being selfish by using your sports as a way to let go soemtimes. It sounds like you maybe need it as an escape, and I'm sure they appreciate that. I hope your confidence isn't too knocked by what you read, although I do understand why you're shaken up. You just have to remember that the chances of getting hurt aren't that big if you take all the necessary safety precautions, and if you really enjoy it, then I would encourage you to keep going, as it seems like it's something you find really relaxing, and with so much going on, you deserve a little time out!

I hope this helps at least a little, and feel free to talk to me at any time :)

Posted

This is just a rant....

When I was getting dressed in the bathroom after having a shower, I heard my parents talking about me in the Kitchen.

They were talking about my social life and how it's going to affect me in the future. Apparently, I don't see my friends. This ticked me off because I see them 5 days a week when we are in school and we talk constantly. And in the Summer holidays which was from June - September, I went out with them everyday to the beach and lunch etc. The only reason why I don't see them at the weekends is because, A)We are sick of the sight of eachother because we are in school together, and B)The weather is constantly crap, like wind and rain, so we can't do anything.

Mum and Dad started to argue about this, Dad said that he will say it to me in the morning. Then Mum said something to Dad which was a complete lie! It was about a conversation Mum and I had last night, and she turned it around, making it look like I said something terrible.

I don't see why they can't understand this. Why can't they see that I went out everyday in the Summer. I was Hardly at home for 3 months!

Sorry for the rant, but I'm so pissed it's not even funny! :angry:

Posted

I don't know if this will make you feel any better at all Cal, but I know how you feel.

My sister is four years younger than me, but still she is way more socially active than I am.

She will have friends over all the time and go out all the time. But I agree with you; I see my friends a lot in school so there's no point in being together ALL THE TIME.

I sometimes hang out with my friendsa after school, but I would just get mad at them if we hung out all the time. But then again people easily annoy me, and I end up fighting with everyone (except two of my friends) if I have to share a room with them for more than three days :P

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.