Support Group

[~Lynd~]

Ok,so i'm a bit stuck and any opinions would be appreciated .

I had this friend who i first met when i was about 15 at a party and we got along well.A year or so later we ended up in hospital across the hall from each other,we chatted and what not getting on well there to.

Then when i moved out of home she become one of my neighbours though i didn't know it before i moved obviously.

This i where the problem begins.We got really close spending a LOT of time together until one day she didn't want to talk to me.She hadn't called for a few days which was unusual so i called her and she hung up saying she didn't want to talk to me.I asked her why and she said something nasty which i don't remember.This ended up in me stupidly wheeling to her house and yelling at her that i didn't deserve this treatment.We made up a few days later and it happpened once or twice after that.

Ok,so here's where i get to the point.This latest episode has lasted a year,she just stopped talking to me for no reason,though this time i didn't give her the satisfaction of calling or anything.We've talked once or twice at the club in the last year.She texted me today and i don't know if i should reply or if i do what do i say?I should also mention that we think she has mental health issues she refuses to admit to.I'm not entirely sure she's aware of how badly she can treat people which is why i've put up with the treatment.

I'm not usually a pushover who lets people treat me badly but like i said we think she has health issues and i don't want to judge her on that and i think i get off lightly compared to others.I'm not the only one she treats like this.

We're no longer neighbours but still were pretty close after she moved.

So that's my ramble over.Sorry if it sounds dumb but if you can make sence of any of it any advice/opinions would be appreciated .

[carmelle]

It's tough...but if I were in your situation I would reply and see what happens.

If she keeps in touch then at least you would know replying to her was worth it, but if she doesn't then you would know that it wasn't your fault. By replying you will be doing the most that you can do and then leaving the ball in her court.

As for how she is going to react, you can't really predict by the sounds of it, so there's only one way to find out...

And you said she's no longer your neighbour, so if she reacts how you don't want her to react, then it's not like you're going to have to see her everyday so it won't be that akward.

You have nothing to loose by texting her...so go for it and see what happens.

I hope my ramblings made some sort of sense...and helped!!!

[Eli]

It's more of a situation than a problem, but I don't know where else to post it...

(copy-and-pasted from my LJ)

It's common knowledge that you can't say anything in High School without it being twisted, but...

HOW OBSESSIVE AND JEALOUS IS IT POSSIBLE TO BE?!!

Some of you might remember my post about the guy I am over, and his new girlfriend.

She must seriously be the most annoying human being I have ever met. I have noticed that she has been pretty nosy and obsessive when it comes to him, but OH MY GOD, today I was shocked. Why I was shocked? Well, to me it seems like she thinks I'm so kind of threat to their relationship.

A few weeks ago, before they got together but were fooling around she suddenly started digging into details about my relationship with him by asking me really personal questions that were non of her business. Today it started again.

Him and I, we're not exactly friends, but we hang out every now and then because we have mutual friends. None of us (as far as I understand his signals) wants anything to change between us, and that is pretty clear.

I have noticed that she is pretty obsessive, and really controling when it comes to him being around other girls, but around me she's even worse than ever.

I spent some time with him today because we were both snowboarding, while she didn't do anything, and then afterwards she was asking him about what he had been doing. I didn't think much of it, but then she started picking at me. He was just mocking around and snowboarding around the bonfire, and I made this joka about how good entertainment it would be if he snowboarded INTO the fire. It was a completely innocent joke, and everyone found it kind of funny, but she almost bit my neck off, telling me that if that happened it would be SAD, not funny!

I got kind of mad, because this was just one of many things she said, although the other cases were smaller and less important.

Then on the bus home I got an opportunity to test her if it was just me (I feel kind of like I'm being self-centered, I don't mean to sound like that!) or if she acts like I'm threatening their relationship.

I was looking for a battery for my MP3-player, and he said he thought he had one. He started looking and I said "If you can give me a battery, [her name] might get competition!"

People laughed, he pretended he hadn't heard it (I know him and he wouldn't have done that if it weren't for her) and she looked at me like I had just confessed sleeping with him!

Then, when he gave me the battery, she turns to him (not even bothering to lower her high-pitched, annoying voice) exclaiming: "She said WHAT?!"

And he replied honestly (she heard me the first time) with a small laughter "She said you'd get competition if I gave her a battery"

She just STARED at me for almost a minute, looking like she wanted to kick my ass.

It might be that I'm wrong, but I thought that was another completely innocent joke, and an overreaction from her side, so I pretended I didn't see the glaring.

It's one thing that she's annoying because she refuses to admit she's wrong, she talks contantly in her annnnnooooyyyyiiiinnnnggg voice and is nosy and rude, but when she starts acting like that it gets me annoyed! I would never do anything to hurt their relationship (even though, and I'd never thought I'd say this: he deserves better) and to avoid that the best thing to do would be to back off and never talk to him again, but I don't want to sacrifice a "friend" (in lack of a better word) and several mutual friends just because of her obsession.

A part of me just wants to keep pushing her by making innocent (maybe not to her, but to everyone else) jokes like that just to drive her over the edge and make her realise how obsessive she is, but I guess that's kind of mean.

Any suggestions on what I should do? Or am I the one who is crazy here?

[MarMar]

I've done something I feel I have reason to be proud of: I've taken something I'm very shameful over and published a picture of it in my blog.

Scary and weird, but also liberating.

[MarMar]

Some say that you're not an artist before you dare to bare your soul, open up for your innermost feelings and fears and let others see them. Some also say that art should provoke some kind of reaction, be it disgust, fear, shock or happiness. I was told, today, that one of the people who has seen my photos of my back sat staring at them for 10 minutes. To me, that was a huge compliment.

I know people can be cruel, that I can be hurt and that I can get some nasty comments, but I want to post the latest picture on DevArt. I want to, but I'm also holding back because even though I know that some people on there post nasty comments over less, and I like to think that I'm prepared, maybe I'm not.

[Pierced Musie]

I have a small problem.

I have a friend, who I've met through Connexions. She is 19, funny but is very different to me. She is, as a way I can only describe her, very common and loud. But I like her because she helps with my confidence.

But this is where the problem lies. I feel that instead of me being a good influence on her, like our tutor wants, she may be a bad influence on me. When we walk around town and wait for the bus, she is loud and will insult people loudly. She plays rude songs really loudly on the bus and it causes others to look at both of us in disgust.

The worst part is to come. Last week she wasn't very happy and I found out it was because she was about to see her boyfriend, who is younger, go down. Today I find out that he has been sent to prison for 4 months and she will probably see another of her friends sent to prison this week.

When I told me 'rents this, my Dad said a comment. It kind of hurt but I think it is because I have realized maybe my friend can't be trusted.

Other things learnt about her today is that she has major anger issues and is also kind of racist. We did groupwork on the barge this afternoon, which consisted of 5 of us plus tutor, and we got onto a topic about people coming from other countries to work. As I participated in this debate, with only me seeing the point of view of the tutor, I felt too grown up to be there.

I was the oldest out of us training and it kind of made me realize the differences, ya know? And also made me realize that my friend is beginning to change me, and not in a good way.

So now I have a problem. Do I carry on as normal and pray that I don't change or do I try and distance myself?

[Emmadolly]

Some say that you're not an artist before you dare to bare your soul, open up for your innermost feelings and fears and let others see them. Some also say that art should provoke some kind of reaction, be it disgust, fear, shock or happiness. I was told, today, that one of the people who has seen my photos of my back sat staring at them for 10 minutes. To me, that was a huge compliment.

I know people can be cruel, that I can be hurt and that I can get some nasty comments, but I want to post the latest picture on DevArt. I want to, but I'm also holding back because even though I know that some people on there post nasty comments over less, and I like to think that I'm prepared, maybe I'm not.

What is your blog,,,,

[loobieloo]

Ok, well I'm not sure weather this is the right place to put this....

I have this friend, and she's having a really hard time at home at the minute.

And no one in school knows, so whenever she feels down about it they're just not bothered.

For years now, my friend has been raped my her uncle and has done nothing. she can't tell her mum or dad, because her uncle is really close to her dad and they wouldn't believe her anyway.

Recently, she has began to say enoughs enough to him (not that she didn't try to stop it before) and it stopped happening. but recently her uncle has been blackmailing her to do things because he says that if she doesn't he will tell everone what she has done and she can't let him do that because she doesn't want everyone to hate her.

She feels like she is going to be stuck forever, and there is no way out for her to get away from him, he has even gone as far as to break into her house to rape her.

What advice would you give her?

And sorry if this isn't the right place for this..

[Ashirr-Leigh]

She has to tell someone, that's the only advice there is to give.

Her uncle can't be allowed to get away with what he's doing to her and she shouldn't have to deal with this on her own. If she doesn't tell someone, then you should.

Jess, do you like this girl? Like, would you consider her a friend, a good friend? Cause if so, I don't see why you should have to stop hanging around with her. You know your views, she has hers.. doesn't mean they have to be the same, you know?

Mar, I think that it's often the things we feel scared about doing that are the right things to do. I hope that made sense, I'm not sure though.

[MarMar]

I feel really trapped in a set of pattern now - I pick, and pick and pick. I want to stop, but I can't. I can't sleep on my back anymore because it hurts too much. It hurts just doing nothing as well. I can't be touched.