Support Group

[MarMar]

1 1/2 day without picking. I've caught myself reaching for my back so many times. T went upstairs after I went to bed last night to put the left-overs in the fridge, during the 3 minutes or so it took, I reached for my back at least 3 times. That's how bad it is when I'm exhausted/down/anxious. Even today I've caught myself starting to do it so many times, while showering, during lecture, on my way home, on the toilet etc etc. I really wanna stop doing this, but I'm not sure I'll be able to. It's like my back itches and wants me to do it, and I feel like I'm going insane. I'm kinda scared trying to stop this will lead to other outlets for anxiety and depression, like it did on Saturday.

[Jess]

^^ It's great that you've gone for more than a day without picking. I know it's hard, and I don't claim to fully understand what you're going through, but you really do just have to take one day at a time and try not to worry too much about what will happen tomorrow. As for having other outlets, have you taken any more pictures recently? Maybe that could be an outlet, although not necessarily a replacement (so to speak), for the picking? You're amazingly artistic and I know that you can put it to good use. Hang in there, hun. I'm thinking of and praying for you.

[MarMar]

Thanks! Haven't been all that many pictures lately, it's suffered under this extreme down-period I've had for the past two weeks. But you're right, I'll start bringing my camera with me and take a picture every time I feel the need to pick

[allibaz91]

It's great to hear you've gone over 24 hours without picking, Mar! I'm really very proud of you - it's good to see you're trying to stop yourself and getting somewhere with it.

I think what Jess said makes a lot of sense - you need to find some other way to channel your emotion and your energy, and photography seems to be the perfect way for you. Hopefully it'll help you beat this thing eventually.

I don't think trying to stop will lead to something more drastic - when you do feel the need to pick, you're stopping yourself because you know it isn't good. In the same vein, if you went for something more drastic, hopefully this new attitude would kick in again and stop you, because deep down you know it's not something you want, and you're starting to realise that on a much more conscious level.

Hang in there, Mar - you're doing great!

[MarMar]

I actually started picking again on Wednesday, got upset with myself for being that weak and did something which might be even worse as I way to let out my anger and frustrations.

But, back on "the wagon" now - going on 3 days and I've taken up knitting again to keep myself busy. You know what they say about idle hands...

[allibaz91]

Well everyone slips up now and again, but in future if you feel it coming on then reach for the knitting needles! I think it sounds like a good idea to try and keep your hands busy and distract yourself - and anything that does come up, feel free to vent in here

Aside from that, 3 days is great! You ought to be proud

[Adia]

This is my first time in here sooo... I'm a bit nervous...

I wish I had some useful advice to give out though...

I'm not usually a moaner as I keep all my problems bottled up inside...

But I need to vent so here I am...

I'm 22 years old and I have to act like the parent with my mother and my sisters. Mostly financially. Don't get me wrong I love her to bits but she keeps doing incredibly stupid things like gambling all her money away. Since I was 15 I've been helping her pay her bills, as she has got into massive debt. In the last month or so I've paid over $2000 of her bills. My Dad (they're separated and he lives in another town with his new wife...) tells me I'm crazy to hang around and help her, and my sister is telling me I have to stay because my mum won't be able to live without me. On top of that... that sister asks me for money to fix her car (three times), pay off the cot she's bought for her baby, pay her fines so she doesn't get into trouble... yet when I'm short of cash she couldn't even buy me a bottle of coke... because she's "saving"...and my other sister is a thief and a liar who has about five court cases pending against her (and she's only 17...)

Am I being dramatic about the whole thing? It's obvious they're taking advantage of me right? I'm the only one in my family who actually completed high school, I'm studying at uni and working 55 hours a week. It just doesn't seem fair.... I've never actually told anyone that I do all that for my family, but I'm beginning to wonder if they'll ever learn...

On the upside I have two adorable little five year old twin brothers who keep me sane, and most importantly they absolutely love me because they actually tell me whenever they see me.

*rant over* but be honest... I just want to know if i'm being a drama queen...

[Cerise]

The problem seems to be, judging from your Post, that your Family needs someone to rely on, and you at 15 probably did want to help and if thats the case your Mum must have grown used to it... It's not fair, and no your not a drama queen. I think the best way to sort it out would be to talk to them. Not the best advice, I wish I had comforting words but my mind cant think of any. Just talk everything over, from the Finance, to your Mums Gambling and over your Sisters Court Cases. Maybe if they know how you feel they'll back down...

[Adia]

Thanks! You words were very comforting.

I've tried to talk to them, but its at the point now where they just scream at me and say "I don't want to talk about it..." and stuff like "you don't know what it's like..." But I've decided I'm definetly not lending them any more money and I might just keep to myself from now on... if they need anything they will have to actually try and find me first... hopefully they get the hint...

[Pierced Musie]

Tell them the cash is tied up somewhere else. They have no right taking your hard earned cash from you and you shouldn't have to be the 'adult' of the family.