Support Group

[Cal]

Jess, I'm in the same boat as you. Parents being mean. But most of the time nice. Does that make sense?

I don't really go out much, I don't like meeting people. It's just not my 'thing'. It's hard for a teen to grow up in the middle of nowhere. I think parents forget how teen life has changed since they were young. There is just so much pressure on us ones.

I have hidden inside the house since I was sick, and the 'rents don't like it. Yesterday, I made an effort to help out, I painted all 6 chairs outside - all Dad did was slag me off, saying stuff like "Oh my, he is getting hit by UV rays, shock!". I didn't find it fair.

I told Dad that he needed to stop doing this and he accepted that, so maybe you could tell your parents to do the same. Swearing often helps.

My social life was dandy up until we moved a few years ago. It was getting better and better as time went on. Then last summer, at peak rate, I got sick and I couldn't see anyone because I wasn't up to it. I had 3 friends, now on the brink of having just 1. The other 2 talk to me, but it just isn't the same as it used to be.

Oh well.

/rant over.

[MarMar]

but I know there are a lot of people on here who care about you, even if it doesn't feel that way to you right now.

Seems most have left. I don't really have anyone left, here nor on other sites. People go on with their lives.

[Cal]

Well, Mar, I don't have a life so I'll always be here if you need to chat.

[MarMar]

I'll just make an ass of myself. I don't care anymore.

[Jess]

Jess, I'm in the same boat as you. Parents being mean. But most of the time nice. Does that make sense?

I don't really go out much, I don't like meeting people. It's just not my 'thing'. It's hard for a teen to grow up in the middle of nowhere. I think parents forget how teen life has changed since they were young. There is just so much pressure on us ones.

I have hidden inside the house since I was sick, and the 'rents don't like it. Yesterday, I made an effort to help out, I painted all 6 chairs outside - all Dad did was slag me off, saying stuff like "Oh my, he is getting hit by UV rays, shock!". I didn't find it fair.

I told Dad that he needed to stop doing this and he accepted that, so maybe you could tell your parents to do the same. Swearing often helps.

My social life was dandy up until we moved a few years ago. It was getting better and better as time went on. Then last summer, at peak rate, I got sick and I couldn't see anyone because I wasn't up to it. I had 3 friends, now on the brink of having just 1. The other 2 talk to me, but it just isn't the same as it used to be.

Oh well.

/rant over.

Haha, are you sure that our parents aren't related? My Dad said a similar thing when I remarked how nice the weather is in Wales - he was like "It's like that here, too; if you bothered to get some fresh air." I actually have important exams after Easter, but, oh yeah, he doesn't really take much interest in my life so he wouldn't know.

I have two amazing friends who would do anything in the world for me, but they both live an hour away. The other three - well, they text me when they want something and we don't socialise outside of school. And, also, because of where I live (in the middle of nowhere) it's a military operation for me to get out into civilisation. Hopefully things'll improve once I've passed my driving test.

I'm just glad I'm not the only one out there who feels like this, Cal. Sometimes I just feel like the only person out there. The phrase "being alone in a crowded room" springs to mind.

[Jess]

I'll just make an ass of myself. I don't care anymore.

But we care. And there are people who care about you. I know it's hard to take support from people when you feel so bad in yourself, trust me - I've been there, but I know there are people here who care about you and want to see you happy.

[Traceve]

Thanks Jess, Emma, Kat and Mar.

Mar: There are a lot of people that do care about you. Just hang in there.

[MarMar]

I'm tempted to say "name 5 people", but it'd just be too depressing.

[allibaz91]

Shan - as I've already said, really glad your mum's not as ill as you thought

Jess, Cal - parents get like that sometimes. Mine are probably as bad, because not only do they look for an excuse to put me down, but they try to play me off against one another like some sort of weapon because they're too childish to actually talk about any of their own issues. I've learned just to ignore them. If they make snide comments about me, I make them right back. And if they try and punish me for it, I remind them how childish they were being in the first place. It isn't pretty, but at the end of the day, I'm sick of feeling like the responsible one. Who's the parent here?? So I tell them that, and they can't argue, because deep down they know its the truth.

Mar - I know you've been feeling really down lately, but you can't keep believing that there's nobody that cares about you! You do have a lot of friends here, and while I don't know about other forums so much, I can guarantee that on here there are way more than 5 people who want to see you get better and care for you.

And for the sake of not being depressing:

1. Me!

2. Jess

3. Cal

4. Di

5. Shannon

And that's just from the last 2 pages of this thread!! You have to realise that we do care, and you're not alone in this. And once you accept that, you'll begin to care more about yourself, too. Which is the most important thing here. You can do this, and you have friends here, Mar. Don't forget that.

[MarMar]

Thanks. I'm really sucky with real names on here, sorry.

Anyone here have LiveJournal? I'd love to have some more people on my list.

If anyone's bored, here's a post I wrote earlier, as a sort of explanation of my situation.

I'm a 21 year old girl from Norway. I live with my boyfriend and mother in Stavanger, the oil-capital of Norway. The Boyfriend is a gamer-geek and makes his money from working franchise for TNT (not the explosives. Not the band, but the express transportation firm). My mom is unemployed and has been in and out of jobs after being made redundant after working with Shell for many years while I was still in elementary school. She lost her last job during a financial down-period around 3 years ago. That's why I'm still living at home at such an old age, and why The Boyfriend lives with us. I help out financially as well as helping with the house and keeping her company. Living in a well-spaced house at the outskirts of town, space and privacy is not too much of an issue.

My father. Well, that's a post all to it self. Let's just say that I don't remember much of my childhood except for all the fights and arguments. He physically and psychologically abused both my mom and my sister. I guess I got brain ****ed as well. He moved out when I was 16 after being diagnosed with ALS. We didn't have any contact during his final years even though my sister urged me to get a proper good bye. It's not talked about, mostly because I was virtually living with The Boyfriends parents at the time to get away from it all, but I think she nursed him during his final months. He died the summer before I turned 19, right in my final exam week of the Norwegian equivalent of HS, where I 'majored' in art. I don't like talking about him.

Now, as for some more heavy ****.

I'm undiagnosed, but I might be suffering from bipolar disorder/depression/something else equally sucky. My self-confidence sucks and I'm too scared to get a job. I generally don't function well. I mean, I've been aa paper girl and worked a few shifts as a cleaner, but after a major breakdown and well, failed half-hearted suicide attempt last fall, I don't dare to try again. I don't have any real life friends. I don't open up and I'm generally mistrusting and manipulating.

My mom "doesn't know" about my mental health issues. I don't think she knows. We don't talk about it. I have days where I hide in my bedroom so that I don't have to face her. There are days where I have all the confidence in the world and others where I can't go to the store alone.

I'm in my second year of uni. I'm enrolled in a Bachelor's program in English, but I'm currently taking sociology. Basically because I didn't want to take history or religion or anything else 'set' for the English Bachelor's program. I'm hoping to have sociology accepted as my second year. If I do finish my degree I'm thinking of studying towards a masters in English literacy studies. I'm afraid, thought, that I'm not as smart as people think I am. My mom once said that although I didn't exell to the same degree as my sister in Jr HS and HS, she thinks I'm smarter. I disagree. I feel there's so much out there that I just don't know about. I'm not saying I'm dumb, I just think a lot were ruined due to a psychotic/psychopathic teacher I had from I was 6 till I was 9. She, apparently, ****ed up a lot of the kids in my class. I don't like to blame anyone for my problems but ****ty teachers along with the general stress of my childhood hasn't helped me very much. I was one of the best kids in maths during elementary school. Now I'm scared of numbers. I can't even do simple problems that you face every day, say... like in a store. I don't know how much I'll end up paying before I'm at the register. Numbers scare me. They make me feel stupid.

I guess I've always been a bit of a control freak. My mom made a comment today of how I, before we drove to kindergarten, would stand in the hallway and tell her all she needed to remember o bring with her before leaving for work. As a 4 year old.

As for health issues... I was diagnosed with migraines when I was 10 after getting it really bad in school one day, with aura and vomiting and everything. Red lemonade's never been the same since. I haven't really had any real attacks in years, but I get headaches a lot. A normal day consists of me having some sort of headache. I don't really respond to the pain anymore.

I'm having some issues with my sexuality as well. Not sure why, but it's bound to be psychological. Sex hurts for me, for most parts. We don't really have a lot of sex cuz I'll end up in pain after just a few minutes.

I guess that was a little bit TMI for most of you.

As for religion or spirituality... I'm a raised atheist. My parents were always fighting the State Church, and later, the school system after it became compulsory with Christianity in school. Me, I count myself as a Pagan. However, I don't practice and it's not really a part of my day to day life. It's still something I think about from time to time. It's always there, not just always on a conscious level.

I pick my skin. I'm trying to stop. Not sure if it's just an OCD or self-harm as well. It's a way for me to cope with bad stuff. I do it when I'm stressed, down or upset. But it's also something I do sometimes without even thinking about it.

I got into photography last fall. I'm no good at it, but it keeps me happy at times and leaves me endlessly frustrated at other.

Not really sure what else there is to say, but at least this is a beginning. More open than I've ever been in a long time.