Support Group

[allibaz91]

You don't need to keep saying thank you, really!

And I don't think you're whining at all - I think you have more problems than anybody should have to deal with, and the least I can do is try and make a small difference

[MarMar]

You make a huge difference.

The last couple of days have been hard, although I don't know why. Tomorrow is a new day. I'm hoping for some nice weather and I'll try to keep a more positive outlook

[Jess]

Well, the fact that the Uni. counsellor didn't work out and yet you're still willing to give therapy a go, means that you haven't taken the "rejection" (although not rejection in the classic sense of the word) as bad as perhaps you feared.

The fear of not being taken seriously, however, is not a silly one. But (yes, I'm quoting song lyrics here) "sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing are the same". Although taking the huge step to therapy is gonna be scary, there's a real possibility it'll really improve your life.

Sometimes we don't need people to give us an active "push" but to be there to stop us from doing bad things and T. is the prime example of this.

And Mar, our words aren't the things saving you. The fact that you've allowed your words to be heard is the thing saving you.

I really hope that things work out for you.

Edit: I just wanna agree with allibaz91. I know what it feels like to be alone and like no one cares about your problems, so I wanna make sure that no one else has to go through that.

[allibaz91]

That's the kind of spirit you need now - things can only get better once you decide to look at them from a new perspective.

You have a wonderful boyfriend, as far as I can tell

You have friends here, who do care about you

You know now you can't do it alone, and you're willing to seek help

and most importantly

You are a wonderful person. You're smart, no matter how you might feel about it sometimes. You're caring and nice, and nobody can ever take that away from you.

Keep up the positivity, Mar. It'll make the world of difference!

(And as for the weather! It's unpredictable, but if it does become bad weather, and rains or whatever, just think of it as a sign that the worst is passing when the rain stops )

[Eli]

I don't think you know how much your words mean to me. I don't see any amazing qualities in myself at all, but you guys seems to think there's some. And, of course I care, you're one of the people I've bonded the most with over the shortest period of time.

These words are a proof of what I just said about your replies being positive. You have this ability to make people (at least I think so) feel like they're actually helping, and giving a tiny little ego-boost by saying a few nice mords like that

Also, I was thinking about something after re-reading your post, and I was wondering if I could as you a question? It's related to your relationship with your mother and your mental health, but I completely understand if you don't like questions.

And accepting the question doesn't mean you have to answer it, it was just something I was thinking about... If you don't feel comfortable wit me asking here or in your LJ (if you're okay with me asking) I can do it over MSN instead.

[MarMar]

Sure, ask away

And about the weather being unpredictable... It snowed today! I cannot believe it! Last week we were having 16 degrees, walking around in t-shirts and driving with the roof down, and today it snows! I want my spring back!

[allibaz91]

Lol I like spring too - summer, too hot, winter too cold! Spring all the way

But unpredictable weather can be a good thing, too - it just shows that you can't plan for everything in life, but you can embrace it! Make the most of the snow, etc, and you'll feel better for it

[Eli]

Okay, here's what I was thinking (and AGAIN, I'm no expert, just someone who thinks way too much):

I went back to re-read because the part about your mother not knowing about your mental health.

Now I don't know what she's like, but I know that my mom is really worried about my future.

She will constantly remind me about how important it is to have a job, know what you wanna do with your life, etc, etc...

You also say you don't have a job, so I was thinking: if your mom is anything like mine, and reminding you that you don't have a job and that she thinks you should have one, wouldn't that just be another weight on your shoulders?

What I mean is that, if she does these things, then it might on some level make you feel like you're disappointing her, and then again assuming you're disappointing everyone. Maybe you don't even know it, it might be there on some level.

So maybe (and I know this is so easy for me to say, and sooooooo much harder to actually do) it would make it easier to tell her? I know it's a huge step, but maybe it might help a little?

From what I get (and I might be wrong) you don't get along with her very well, but still maybe it would be worth a shot?

Cause if she does these things it might be because she doesn't know how you feel. She might not have any idea that you're scared, not just not-willing to make an effort to get a job.

And if she on some level already knows about your mental health she probably wants to know more, and her not knowing might be one of the things causing tension.

I'm sorry if that's just a huge load of crap, it was just me thinking. Also it was very complicated to explain, so I understand if you didn't get a word of that, I spent a long time trying to find the right words

Again, I probably have no idea what I'm talking about, but I couldn't just hold it in, in case it on some level might help at least a little (even though I doubt it).

I realise now, that wasn't really a question... It was just a bunch of messy thoughts... sorry!

EDIT: about the weather; it was so weird going to the cabin! It was soooo cold up there, and there was a lot of snow! It was actually snowing. While here you already have days you can be outside wearing a t-shirt!

[MarMar]

It's not just messy!

I think, on some level, that she knows. I mean, come on, I've been faking sick since elementary school so that I wouldn't have to go to school. That aside, I was a sickly child. My immune system is nothing but crap. I have days where I just walk around in my bathrobe, hiding in the bedroom so that I don't have to face her.

Yeah, she's more or less constantly reminding me that I don't have a job and that she started working when she was 16. But, I just don't know how to tell her. I really suck at being intimate with people and I'm scared of any reaction she might have.

Thanks for caring, though

[allibaz91]

I think Eli makes a good point here. As you've said, you have trouble being close to people, and I know that makes it difficult to tell your mum the truth. But you're talking about going to therapy, and that's going to require you to open up to a total stranger about a lot of personal things. Sometimes that might be easier than doing it with somebody you know, but then again, they won't understand as well as somebody who knows you better.

Obviously it's completely up to you, but maybe it's worth considering talking to your mum, as Eli said. It might make it less of a shock when you get to the threapy stage.