Support Group

[Jess]

Hmm...yeah. Couldn't you arrange to go over when your mum's not there? Although your grandma's ill and you obviously don't wanna stress her, it's still important to talk to them about. I'm the same, though - I hate awkward silences. I do anything to avoid them. And I know it's hard, but it'll be so much easier when it's out in the open with them and you know their feelings on the matter. And I'm sure they won't want to make things any harder for you, so they'll understand if you don't want your mum there.

It just seems like your mum is using anything to get to you. Maybe you could arrange to have a chat with her, but with an impartial persona around, too, in case things get too heated. Maybe then she'll see that you are, in fact, old enough to make your own decisions and it's not your dad who's controlling you. Once she knows the truth, there's only so long that she can carry on denying it for.

I agree with what Alli was saying in her earlier post - it's way out of order that she's coming round banging the door and threatening you and you shouldn't feel guilty for calling the police on her. Just hang in there and stay strong and make sure you keep your relationship with your dad open, 'cos you can definately support each other. And you know we're here if you need us.

[Pierced Musie]

Lilone, I'm sorry to hear about your mother issues. It must be very hard for you and I can't imagine the pain you must feel.

But you have to consider the facts. Your Dad has taken on you and your sisters on his own, which is a very beautiful thing to do. Seeing how much he has coped with that task has probably made your Mum very jealous.

But your Mum has scared you, hasn't she? The fact that she has threatened you and made you scared is enough to contact the police.

If she shows up and threatens you again, and if you become terrified, then all you can do is see if they can get a restraining order on your mother.

It will hurt but it is your safety and the safety of others around you that are top priority. So yes, you did do the right thing by calling the police.

As for what your Mum has said, please don't listen to her. It is obvious that she will say anything to hurt you and knows exactly how to do it.

*hugs*

[Lilone]

Thanks tainted muse, Ali and Jess

[Ashirr-Leigh]

It's kinda hard to post about this without actually saying what it is but I'll give it a try for a while..

I have this secret that my twin sister and my stepmum are the only living people who know. Thing is, I've been feeling lately like I want to tell my dad. I'm really, really close to my dad. I can tell him anything and everything.. except this. It'd break his heart to know that I kept it from him and that he couldn't help me with it at the time.

I don't really know where this urge to tell him has come from.. but it's been bothering me of late and I want to talk to him about it, I just don't know what to do.

I know this probably doesn't make much sense, but any help that anyone could offer will be greatly appreciated.

Thanks.

x

[Kade Kempson]

It's kinda hard to post about this without actually saying what it is but I'll give it a try for a while..

I have this secret that my twin sister and my stepmum are the only living people who know. Thing is, I've been feeling lately like I want to tell my dad. I'm really, really close to my dad. I can tell him anything and everything.. except this. It'd break his heart to know that I kept it from him and that he couldn't help me with it at the time.

I don't really know where this urge to tell him has come from.. but it's been bothering me of late and I want to talk to him about it, I just don't know what to do.

I know this probably doesn't make much sense, but any help that anyone could offer will be greatly appreciated.

Thanks.

x

Well obviously it depends on the situation but I'm sooooo glad that you decided to share the problem/issue on BTTB. So first of all, smile and secondly, a problem shared is a problem halved . So don't regret sharing it with us.

Ok, what I want to know is why do you want to tell your dad all of a sudden? Something must have wanted you to tell him. Is it just that, you've suddenly become closer to him and you want to share this situation of what happened with him? It's ok if you cant find the answer to this question. Just be relaxed.

Secondly, have you talked about this with your stepmum and twin sister? Do they think it's a good idea that you tell your dad?

Just think carefully. And think of the long term. If the issue is still getting you down then go to your local health centre and they should refer you to a counseller who can help you talk it through....... really help you finally close the door on what happened which will enable you to lead your life happily and peacefully.

It wont be awkward; I mean when a problem arises you think that you're the only person thats going through it but thats not the case! Loads of people have problems and it's ok to be down but its not ok to stay down!

And You know, it really helps talking to someone such as a counseller. It doesnt mean your weak and it doesnt make you any less of a person AND IT DOES NOT MEAN YOU'RE CRAZY! You know, everyone is beautiful inside and people need to realise that.

And just because you posted once doesn't mean you cant post again. Keep us updated with how things are are/developing and we'll try to help you along the way.

I hope I helped. PM if you want. And that goes for anyone. If you want to talk then I'll lend you my ear.

[Marieh]

It's kinda hard to post about this without actually saying what it is but I'll give it a try for a while..

I have this secret that my twin sister and my stepmum are the only living people who know. Thing is, I've been feeling lately like I want to tell my dad. I'm really, really close to my dad. I can tell him anything and everything.. except this. It'd break his heart to know that I kept it from him and that he couldn't help me with it at the time.

I don't really know where this urge to tell him has come from.. but it's been bothering me of late and I want to talk to him about it, I just don't know what to do.

I know this probably doesn't make much sense, but any help that anyone could offer will be greatly appreciated.

Thanks.

x

Like Kade Kempson said, it must be something since you suddently want to tell him. I can understand that you think it's hard telling your dad what you're thinking about because the father/daughter relationship is always the special one.

I think you should tell him, whatever it is. Just try to explain him the situation and maybe have your step mum or sister with you to help you. He may not understand or he will but it's better to tell him if it's something he can find out.

If you want to talk I can always listen, no matter what it is

[MarMar]

I'm not in here to really post about something I need help with, but I'm constantly looking for acceptance. Whenever I post on my blog, I'm yearning for comments. Not on every post, but big ones. I know this is completely unfair to my f-list - they've got their own lives, and what I find important and worth writing about might not be something they even care about, e.g the knitting and the bags I'm making.

[flutterby]

^ I get you Mar, I have been feeling a little bit that way too lately, I doubt in the same proportions but I just long for someone to think of me first, to want to phone me and chat or to just recognise I'm here. I think because I'm sarcastic and always making jokes etc people don't realise I have feelings, I just feel a bit lonely. Recently I have been working up some friendships in my youth group and feeling really wanted and accepted, then this one girl (who don't get me wrong I really like) comes back from uni and another comes along after being awol for a while and I'm back at square one feeling completely inadequate and just pointless really. It's a struggle cos I really like them but they seem to findcertain people dispensable which makes me really angry, for instance my sister was the person who brought them both in the first place and now they often act like she doesn't exist (she's a bit of a doormat) and they just don't have any awareness of the cliques they make and the people who feel included when they aren't there who they push out when they are. I don't know I just feel a bit gutted.

Sorry Mar I did start this post with the intention of helping you and I've just moaned about trivial things in my life instead

[Ashirr-Leigh]

Mar, I think I know what you mean.

It's nice to get even a wee comment from people to let you know that people have read what you've written and are interested in it.

I know it probably sounds like a load of rubbish but I bet alot more people read your blog than actually post about it. I know that sometimes when I'm reading posts on here, I have perfectly good replies but laziness stops me from posting them. Either that, or I'm not sure on how to word it so I don't bother. It sounds harsh but I bet there's more people than me who do that.

Kade & Marieh, thanks for replying. I was worried that it would make no sense at all so no one would answer it, lol.

I think the reason why I feel like all of a sudden I want to tell my dad is because it's started to bother me again. I mean, this secret.. it's something that's always there but lately, it's just there alot more. I know how much sense this doesn't make, sorry. It's not that I've suddenly become closer to my dad or anything like that, we've been close ever since I was like 5 or something. It's my dad who's looked after me all my life and he knows everything there is to know about me, except this.. and whenever I have a problem, it's him I go to and this is becoming more of a problem for me but I don't know, I don't want to hurt him.

I haven't spoken to my stepmum about this yet because I think if I do, if she realises that it's getting to me so much, she might just tell my dad and I don't want it to come from someone else. She wanted me to tell him at the time and it took everything for me to stop her from doing it. I know she has my best intentions at heart but I don't want my dad to find out like that. As for Laighla (my twin), she thinks I should tell him. She always has.

Thanks guys, really. I may end up taking you up on the PM offer, lol.

But for now, thanks a million, really.

x

[-Tess-]

Mar, I think I know what you mean.

It's nice to get even a wee comment from people to let you know that people have read what you've written and are interested in it.

I know it probably sounds like a load of rubbish but I bet alot more people read your blog than actually post about it. I know that sometimes when I'm reading posts on here, I have perfectly good replies but laziness stops me from posting them. Either that, or I'm not sure on how to word it so I don't bother. It sounds harsh but I bet there's more people than me who do that.

Kade & Marieh, thanks for replying. I was worried that it would make no sense at all so no one would answer it, lol.

I think the reason why I feel like all of a sudden I want to tell my dad is because it's started to bother me again. I mean, this secret.. it's something that's always there but lately, it's just there alot more. I know how much sense this doesn't make, sorry. It's not that I've suddenly become closer to my dad or anything like that, we've been close ever since I was like 5 or something. It's my dad who's looked after me all my life and he knows everything there is to know about me, except this.. and whenever I have a problem, it's him I go to and this is becoming more of a problem for me but I don't know, I don't want to hurt him.

I haven't spoken to my stepmum about this yet because I think if I do, if she realises that it's getting to me so much, she might just tell my dad and I don't want it to come from someone else. She wanted me to tell him at the time and it took everything for me to stop her from doing it. I know she has my best intentions at heart but I don't want my dad to find out like that. As for Laighla (my twin), she thinks I should tell him. She always has.

Thanks guys, really. I may end up taking you up on the PM offer, lol.

But for now, thanks a million, really.

x

Oh, Ashirr-Leigh!

If your dad truely does love you (with I'm positive he does!), then he will understand whatever you have kept from him, and try to help you with whatever it is.

Considering that I have no idea what the secret is, I suggest that you tell him, because secrets have a nasty way of getting out, and it would probably be better for him to heart whatever it is coming from you, not someone else.

You never know, he may just suprise you by being fine with whatever it is