Guest [x]whacko[x]jen[x] Posted June 17, 2007 Report Posted June 17, 2007 ^ Aww... your welcome! I'm just glad I can help! And you are helping me get over my problem too! Yay! That's good, although I don't really know how I am helping....
emmasi Posted June 17, 2007 Report Posted June 17, 2007 Update: I've skipped my pills 2 days in a row... once by accident, once on purpose... or... well, I remembered that I SHOULD take it but I couldn't be stuffed because they haven't been working. I will take one tomorrow though. I have a friend on them and she says a couple of days won't hurt so things should be fine... Anyway, I spent last night at my friend's house. I don't like being there with her mum... Her mum's a cool person but she's been pressuring my friend to leave home, so obviously she doesn't want lazy layabout friend in her house as well... Long story short, I threw some money on the table and hoped that that would make the guilt go away. I have a habbit of using money to solve my problems - giving it away to feel better, or buying something new and shiny to distract myself from other thoughts... but it always fades... and now, so are my money supplies. Fading funds... doesn't help when you're trying to survive... I can't decide if watching "The Wall" was a good thing or a bad thing, lol... It's quite extreme and depressing, but as my friend said, sometimes it's good to know that you're not alone - other people have those messed-up freaky thoughts as well... although I probably shouldn't have been envying the guy who cut his hand up on a shard of glass and then was bleeding out in a pool... hm.
Frankie Posted June 17, 2007 Report Posted June 17, 2007 My take on this...for what its worth... emmasi....The bottom line is that you are not going to please all these tossers..you are not going to make them happy until you are happy... so do what makes YOU happy...and stuff the rest of them...once you are happy you can start sorting them out and telling them where they are going wrong! Mar..its your wedding...not Terje's fathers wedding...you do what you and Terje want to do. You could sit him down and explain that it is a) your weeding not his, b) that you and Terje want something which meets your needs not any one else's, c) you are not going to be bullied into it and therefore have a miserable day because he cant get his own way. and d) he is spoiling what should be a wonderful time, and that you want him to be part of it, but not in charge of it. Alternatively write him a letter explaining it, asking him to be part of it because you really want him to be etc... but also how awful he is making you and Terje feel, but that you are not budging ... etc... what ever you do...don't give in to what is effectively emotional blackmail.
emmasi Posted June 17, 2007 Report Posted June 17, 2007 The only problem with that is what I WANT to do is lie around and draw all day . And with the depression, I haven't even been able to do that... . BUT guess what?? I just drew something!! I posted it also, but I'll allow people to track that down for themselves if they're so inclined YAY! Creativity!
Frankie Posted June 17, 2007 Report Posted June 17, 2007 The only problem with that is what I WANT to do is lie around and draw all day . And with the depression, I haven't even been able to do that... . BUT guess what?? I just drew something!! I posted it also, but I'll allow people to track that down for themselves if they're so inclined YAY! Creativity! I am no shrink...but I am gonna stick my neck out anyway .. and hazard a guess that the depression is reactive...a reaction to people not letting you be you? Maybe if they and you let you be you then the depression could resolve itself? I dunno...but it seems worth considering.
emmasi Posted June 17, 2007 Report Posted June 17, 2007 lol. That seems likely, but... how do I get people to let me be me ? Me is not a very productive member of society... In fact, me is much more like a leach than a human, or at the very least a sloth who demands feeding in between naps... I don't want to leave all my friends and family, but I really don't think they're gonna back down on this whole "YOU MUST CONTRIBUTE TO SOCIETY" thing... I don't particularly like society, why would I want to contribute to it...? Anyway, I'm considering getting lost in the bush somewhere... I think I'd be happiest out there. Although I'm not sure about the spiders... but I guess I'd get used to them...
Frankie Posted June 17, 2007 Report Posted June 17, 2007 mmmm...what constitutes a contribution to society?...thats the $64,000 question as they say. People contribute in so many ways...you have creativity..and I envy that...I don't have a creative bone in my body... a born critic me ...but as I was saying...you are creative...that is a contribution... you just have to find a way to make that work for YOU. Sounds to me that taking the big leap.. moving out... and finding yourself ..is the only way things are going to change. Pretty scary...but Mums, family and friends can turn up with food parcels from time to time..... as long as you tell them when its convenient and they don't pester you.. and they actually don't mind the occasional visits from the offspring with all the dirty washing..it makes them feel needed I can imagine you in the bush actually...being creative and earthy ..and Tasha would be so proud... and more to the point...so would Robbie!
MarMar Posted June 17, 2007 Report Posted June 17, 2007 I'm so down today it's not even funny. I'm all angry inside and don't know what to do about it
emmasi Posted June 17, 2007 Report Posted June 17, 2007 Well... like I said, I watched "The Wall" today... and it made me rather teary to see my feelings - my pain and fears - displayed so vividly on screen and through song, and through someone else's eyes who totally gets it... In a weird way it sort of cleared my head... I guess my advice would be to watch that, or some other movie that you can relate to emotionally so you can tap into your pain and get it out of you for a little while... Although if you do watch The Wall, I'd suggest removing all sharp objects and needle drugs within a 10 meter radius...
Frankie Posted June 17, 2007 Report Posted June 17, 2007 I'm so down today it's not even funny. I'm all angry inside and don't know what to do about it I am so sorry to her that Mar...but you have to get it out...or it will eat you up...shout..rant.. yell at the world... don't let that knot inside getting any more tangled than it already is. I know you like words and poetry and stuff.. this in interesting...and might have some resonance for you. http://www.oikos.org/knotpageen.htm
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