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[Guest]

I know this guy Trent and he's my friend but we never use to talk to each other and now he says hi to me every day and well I sometimes say hi back but sometimes I dont because I don't wanna make it something it's not.

I kinda think he's obessessed with me.

Do you think he's obessed with me or am I imaging things?

Plz help I don't know what to do

[Oxidizer]

Thanks Andy. You one of the twinkling stars in my dark, desolate universe.

Well, it's true. You are.

And now I got warm fuzzies. I'm a twinkling star. *hee's*

[emmasi]

^

I know this guy Trent and he's my friend but we never use to talk to each other and now he says hi to me every day and well I sometimes say hi back but sometimes I dont because I don't wanna make it something it's not.

I kinda think he's obessessed with me.

Do you think he's obessed with me or am I imaging things?

Plz help I don't know what to do

If he's just saying "hi" I wouldn't call that obsessing yet. If he starts following you around, offering to do things for you for no reason, asking for your phone number or calling you out of the blue... that would be obsessive. I'd say you're imagining it, but if you want to be on the safe side, you could always just talk to him and say "I like you as a friend, but not as a boyfriend." He might be upset at first, but it's better than letting him get the wrong idea.

[Sarah_Lewis]

Ok I dont know if this is the right place to put this but i dont know where else to go =[.

I've been cut free for i dont know how long now but its been awhile, since last night i've felt really depressed and wanting to cut again I've been holding back on doing it but i dont know if i can anymore =[ I got no one to talk to about it anymore seen as im going to stop my counselling cuz WINZ have stopped paying there half and i haven't renewd it because I dont want to go back again.

Sorry guys if this is the wrong forum to put this in =[ i just needed to get it out

[Ashirr-Leigh]

It's not the wrong place, it's exactly the right place!=]

I'm glad you've been holding back, be proud of yourself for that because it must be hard to break the habit. Think to yourself, if you've been able to stop doing it now for a while, why throw all that away by starting again?

It's a really tough situation, I get that, but I'm sure there's always someone you can talk to about it, even if it's only on here..

[Sarah_Lewis]

I gave in i did two on my leg and two on my arm I couldnt stop myself what with my father going on and on all the damn time

[Guest [x]whacko[x]jen[x]]

I have an addiction to getting detentions without doing anything ....

I got one today with a friend because we threw each others stuff out the window. Big deal. But we ended up sweet talking to the teacher to get outta it ;)

[emmasi]

I gave in i did two on my leg and two on my arm I couldnt stop myself what with my father going on and on all the damn time

A friend of mine does that. She's really intelligent, but she wastes a lot of her life on drugs because she doesn't want to deal with the pain of her life, and cutting creates a fresher, distracting pain.

Apart from saying "Don't do that!!!" which is obvious (you already know you *shouldn't* but that doesn't make it any easier to stop) all I can suggest, apart from seeing a counsellor and/or a doctor, is to make sure you know what you're doing and where exactly you're cutting yourself. I know it sounds stupid to encourage you to research how to hurt yourself, but if you were to cut in the wrong spot or go too deep you could do yourself some serious damage, and not just bleeding, you could do irreparable nerve damage. I'm not trying to lecture you, I know how hard it is to change a behaviour that seems so satisfying at the time, but you really do need to be careful.

Talking about it here is a really good start though.

[emmasi]

I really don't want to be on prescription drugs, just for the look that people give me when they know... I, like an idiot, actually thought that they'd be happy for me because I was taking a positive step. That's what I thought. As soon as I told people, they treated me like a drug-addict, and like I had a disease people could catch... I don't want people looking at me like that, but I hate lying as well, so if I went back on medication, I'd have to tell them...

The reason I think I need to is because I've just been so tense ever since my parents got back. I can't handle it. My Dad keeps making snide remarks about how I never do anything. I just realised - because I'm an idiot - that it's because I dropped out of uni. I want to work, but I'm scared to... I'm scared to do anything. Anyway, tonight he comes home, and I was taking the rubbish out... or trying to... and he said "What are you doing!?" because he was in my way and I didn't want to say anything. I was just trying to wait for him to move. But he didn't, he just stood there staring at me like I was a freak... So then I told him I was taking the rubbish out, and so he said "So take it out then," but he didn't move, so I didn't move, and then he laughed at me and went into the kitchen...

Now, don't get me wrong, my Dad's not a bad person, he just doesn't understand that I get terrified by any kind of confrontation, even if it's just a random competition for physical space.

That in mind... he sat down at the table and must have gone to eat from my plate. I had a chicken snitzel and garlic pizza, because Mum and Dad had chicken pizza instead of the schnitzel, cause I don't eat chicken pizza cause it has too much crap on it. Anyway... I heard Mum say "That's Jemima's" (mine), and Dad got really sh*tty about it... Which is when he decided to tell me that he'd signed me up for a 4 hour stocktake at a hardware store. Which is great, but when I asked him when it was - a pretty simple question, I thought - he said "Oh, you can't have anything on! You don't do anything!"

... So yeah, that really made me feel great...

I don't know what I've done wrong. Except, as I said, I dropped out of uni. Is it my fault that I can't take it? Is it my fault that all they do is criticise and contradict you until you don't know who you are anymore, all you know is that you're nothing compared to them? I can think those paranoid thoughts all on my own, thank you very much. I don't need to pay a lecture theatre full of jerks however many thousands of dollars to tell me over and over again that I suck, I'm useless, and I'll never amount to anything... I got that covered.

I don't know what to do. Whenever I think about it, my head just screams "RUN! RUN! RUN! RUN! RUN!" ... but even to do that, I'd have to steal from my parents to get started, and they'd never forgive me for it... More than half the sh*t I own is paid for by them, and taking it would be as good as stealing...

I'm so close to just packing up whatever I can carry and heading out into the bush. Maybe I could just go camping for a week or two to sort myself out... but I know I wouldn't want to come back. And then what? I'd have known true freedom, only to have to throw it away. It'd be like losing my childhood all over again, and since I'm clearly not over that... I don't think I could handle it again...

My friends keep saying they want to move out, but they don't. If they really wanted it, they'd try harder. I guess that means if I really wanted it, I'd try harder too... but I'm an idiot and I can't survive on my own, I know that. I'm not smart enough or wise enough to exist in the real world. All I can do is sit here and type rows and rows of random crap. Yeah, I see what my dad means. I really do do nothing all day.

Anyway, back to the medication. I've still got a few pills left from my last prescription... I'm thinking of taking them to make this knot in my stomach go away. It's like... I'm so nervous that I want to throw up... but I don't do that unless I've had A LOT to drink so... I think I'm safe... and I'd go raid the alcohol cupboard, but I did that last night. Plus then I'd be an alcoholic. lol... wow, there is no way to win, is there? You just have to be one of those imaginary peole that know how to deal with everything life throws at them without anyone's help or support, or any mind-altering substance to get you through...

I'd say I wish I was dead, but I believe in reincarnation, so then I'd just be screwed all over again.

[~Lynd~]

My best friend did something i never thought she'd do and i'm not sure she knows i know.

She's been staying at my place for a few days as she often does and she went out today becourse i had something on but she said she'd be back.

By 8.30 she still wasn't here so i called her at home and she answered.I said thanks for the consideration it astounds me.She often does what she likes without telling people and i told her one day somethng might happen to her and nobody will know becourse one day nobody's gojng to call to check she's ok just thinking she's at the other house.She's like ok but i left you a message but that was a lie becourse i checked.

Anyway the line went silent and i thought she'd hung up but then heard her talking to someone on her end saying how i want her to stay down there all week and as if she would and that i was practically forcing her to go to a concert of a band she doesn't really like.I was pretty hurt by the behind the scenes bitching so hung up,i'm not even sure she knows i was still there.

I don't force her to stay with me and she said she'd go to the concert which i'm paying for.I know her mum already thinks she spends to much time down here and i'm to reliant on her which isn't how it is.She's always said she's defended me against her mum but now i'm not sure.She's onlyy added fuel to the fire.Anyway when she does stay here she makes a mess of my unit,sleeps all day and eats all my food so i'm not gaining much by letting her.

Am i being to sensitive?Mum think's we've been friends to long for this to bother this and it'll blow over,she'll call and act like nothing happened.I'm not sure i can act like nothing happened,i don't like feeling like 'm being walked all over but i don't want to lose our friendship either...