Support Group

[Oxidizer]

You may feel ok now but eating disorders are a long-term thing and sooner or later you're going to become very, very sick.

I don't really consider myself to have an eating disorder though. Well, okay, it's not quite normal, but I'm not unhappy.

I had issues with not eat and I got really ill, when I was younger. I was very lucky I managed to get help just in time.

I know its hardto take the first step, but you got to think abt how much this will effect other people you love too.

That's quite scary how out of control things got for you. I'm glad you got help before your body gave up or you had internal problems. I hope you're well now.

My family don't mind. I mean, they're not over the moon about how much weight I've lost, but it's cool.

They will NOT force feed you... but they will make sure you are getting some nutrients to ensure your body does not give up on you.

Well, that's a relief. I had this weird mental image of them feeding people burgers and chocolate and stuff, and it was making me feel sick haha.

I don't know though. It's good that they don't force feed people, but the thought of being fed - either 'normally/properly' or by salin drip - is a lot more frightening that dying. Just the thought of all that effort and hard 'work' to be thin being undone because some jealous doctor types pump your body full of drugs.

I think it's pretty well known that although they may look like a physical illness, they're more to do with the mind.

Yeah, I reckon you're right about it having to do a lot with the mind, it's just I don't consider it to be an illness. Well, not until the body starts malfunctioning or whatever.

Sorry for the daft replies, I just dunno what to say. I'm kinda overwhelmed (not in a negative way) and feel bad about taking over the thread. I do appreciate all the advise and kind words, it's just other people have bigger problems than me, especially seeing as what I'm doing is 'self-imposed' and I'm not exactly depressed about it. The only thing I'm reallly worried about is probably the prospect of going to a clinic or whatever.

[Frankie]

Well... I think its possible that you are deluding yourself Andy.. and thats part of the illness. No one ever thinks they have an eating disorder.... but trust me if you are eating 100 Cals a day and don't think that's a problem... you have an eating disorder.. it may not be a major one... and at this stage your life may not be at immediate risk... but you are on that path and it will get worse if you don't get help. You are right about the control thing though.. that shows some insight... which is good. I am not pulling any punches here... and I am not being over dramatic in what I am going to say.... this is one of those occasions where straight talking and facts need to be aired.

What you need to think about are the following:

1.Do you feel a strong need to control your eating and lose weight?

2. Does the thought of gaining weight scare you?.. from the above I am guessing it does.

3. At times do you feel really good, alert, energetic, euphoric even, despite the low calorific intake?

4. Are you sometimes a bit secretive and defensive about what you eat?

5. Do you think about food a lot?

6. Are you spedning more time on your own, away from friends and family?

7. Do you feel anxious about the thought of change to your self imposed eating regime?

8. Are you a bit of a perfectionist in other aspects of your life, get irritated about mistakes, change etc..?

9.Are you seeing yourself as bigger than you really are?... having seen your picture.. and your reply.. I think you are.. as that picture was actually very scary!

10. Are your family more worried than you are admitting to yourself?... I am betting they are!

Here is some SERIOUS data!

This sort of eating disorder has the HIGHEST death rate of all mental illnesses..... short term health risks include feeling cold, needing to wear lots of clothes, feeling faint etc.. as time goes on the risks get greater.. and include.... osteoporosis, organ damage, excessive hair growth, poor sleep pattern(which can badly affect health too) poor circulation, low blood pressure, anemia.... you get more susceptible to colds and other infections, nerve and muscle damage, electrolytic imbalances.. if you don't get the right nutrients this can lead to fitting, irregular heart beat or sudden death; bloating due to slow gut function...this makes you feel full even though you are starving... starving causes the body to eat up its own flesh to try and survive.... but ultimately it gives out.

Getting Help:

If you get help early you wont need to go down the clinic route.. that is usually for people who have a long standing well hidden problem . .... who need a lot of monitoring who are major risk.... so stop worrying about that. If you front up to this now you can avoid that in the future. An eating disorder is usually an unhealthy strategy that people have devised in order deal with difficult issues, and to feel more in control of their lives.... thats why the thought of getting help is scaring you. So consequently the idea of trying to work through it is absolutely terrifying. What they will do is try to find other strategies for you to use, ways of coping etc.. that are not going to cost you your life. It wont be easy.... but the people who have been where you are now... and are now much happier.. and healthier... will tell you that it was worth it.

I have been worrying about you a lot since reading your posts and seeing that photo... so please.. accept the help.. ask for it even... and save yourself, and your family, the heart ache and pain of what could be far worse if you leave it any longer.

[Oxidizer]

I feel really bad about making people worry now. I'm sorry, I didn't mean too. To think, I only wanted advise of how to make it appear as though I weigh more to the doctors to avoid whatever they might suggest (ie. clinic).

Hmm. I do feel better when I choose not to eat. I don't know why, it's kind of like those drug posters that read "Just say no!" lolz. I kind of spend time on my own but I'm not alone, if that makes sense? I mean, I tend to ditch my friends and family nowadays and go to clubs or into London on my own, either to make me feel better or to burn calories. I can be a bit of a perfectionist, yeah. And I think I see myself bigger than I am as well - when I look at myself I think I'm either big or just average (depending on my mood I guess) but when I look in the mirror or at pictures I know I'm a bit skinny then. I get cold and feel faint often and (I can't believe I'm gonna admit this ) have yellow/dark rings under my eyes, chapped lips and sometimes spots, which seem to go whenever I eat or drink.

I've got another doctor's appointment for next Tuesday, I'll think about talking to my GP about it then. I don't know why, I'm just worried about what they're going to say. Especially this weird feeling I got that they'll be sneaky and perscribe me pills to 'help' but are secretly to make me put on weight haha.

[Ashirr-Leigh]

Andy, the doctors aren't there to be against you. They're going to do whatever they can to help you, trust me.

I think it'd be a brilliant idea if you decided to talk to your doctor about it on Tuesday.

Oh and that's what this thread is here for, use it as you wish, yeah?

[Oxidizer]

Thanks guys. You're sweet people.

We'll see about the doctors. I mean, if I can talk about it here, I'm sure I can to my GP too, right? I just hope they don't freak out or anything if I have to take my shirt off (and that didn't sound as innocent as it was meant to).

[Frankie]

Thanks guys. You're sweet people.

We'll see about the doctors. I mean, if I can talk about it here, I'm sure I can to my GP too, right? I just hope they don't freak out or anything if I have to take my shirt off (and that didn't sound as innocent as it was meant to).

I hope your chat with the GP goes well Andy... if you are worried about what to say why don't you print off some of the posts on here to take with you...as they explain a lot of how you feel.. etc... well done for taking the first step... you should be proud of yourself.

Its natural to be worried... they wont try and trick you... but they will want you to put in weight.. that may scare you... but honestly you do need to... and when you have and your thought processes are a bit less distorted you will be pleased about that.... they wont hold you down, force feed you or try and bombard you with food... but may ask you to do stuff like take a special higher cal drinks which wont make you feel over full like an ordinary meal might at present... but will give your body some nutrients..as it obviously needs them.. .. and then they may talk to you about setting targets for eating just a little bit more each day. You could ask the GP about Cognitive behavioural therapy... he/she might think will be helpful depending upon what you say.... or they may suggest something else... it's a way of looking at how you think and changing behaviours. The therapist will work with you... not against you.. to find out how and why this pattern of behaviour started, and then work out with you how to change it. It can be challenging..as people often cling to beliefs about what might happen to them if they eat and do put on weight... you might have all sorts of ideas about that which actually have no basis in reality... .. but feel very real to you. They will help you set acheivable targets so that over time you can work through issues, put a bit of weight on and also develop ways of coping with the scary thoughts far more effectively.

Good luck... and let us know how it goes.

[Oxidizer]

I will. Thanks! (sorry that was short in comparison to your post - my mind's gone completely blank these last couple of days and I can't think of a thing to say)

The only problem I have right now is that yesterday I did the stupidest thing ever and ate two bowls of cereal (I think that's about 300 calories but I'll say 400 just to be on the safe side) and I swear I've put on weight. I've never felt so lousy in all my life (or at least that's how it feels). Why did I have to be so greedy? (that probably sounds ridiculous but I am)

(And apparently I'm overusing the brackets. )

[emmasi]

When you eat half a loaf of someone else's bread, and half a block of their cheese (not to mention inhaling more than your fair share of certain herbs), then you can talk to me about greed

I was gonna pay 'em back... but I spent that money on MacDonalds. . I did share the food though... Some of it...

Man I could go for a cheeseburger right now...

[claire_louise]

I will. Thanks! (sorry that was short in comparison to your post - my mind's gone completely blank these last couple of days and I can't think of a thing to say)

The only problem I have right now is that yesterday I did the stupidest thing ever and ate two bowls of cereal (I think that's about 300 calories but I'll say 400 just to be on the safe side) and I swear I've put on weight. I've never felt so lousy in all my life (or at least that's how it feels). Why did I have to be so greedy? (that probably sounds ridiculous but I am)

(And apparently I'm overusing the brackets. )

Andy, a guy your age needs about 2500 calories a day to be healthy, so 400 is practically nothing at all. I really doubt you'll have put on weight from that, and if it feels like you have it's because the illness (yes, it is an illness) messes with your mind. The doctors don't want you to put on weight because they're jealous, or because they're against you for some reason - their only reason is that they want you to be healthy. I know it's hard but maybe you could try keeping up with eating just that little bit more each day? It's also very important to drink more than you are doing, as dehydration can be very serious (the recommended daily intake of liquid is 2 litres, which does sound a bit excessive I know, but do try to drink as much as you can). I really hope you do talk to your doctor about this and express how you're feeling to him/her. All they want to do is help you, but they can't unless you tell them what's wrong.

[Oxidizer]

Jem!

I can't imagine there was a time I once ate McDonald's.

I really doubt you'll have put on weight from that, and if it feels like you have it's because the illness (yes, it is an illness) messes with your mind.

I hope so. I did think it was a bit quick to have put on weight. I mean, overnight, seriously?

And how many calories?! 2000 odd? F...k! I try not to go over 200! I kinda feel a little better now.

I'll definitely talk to my GP about it (who for the past couple of weeks I've had a completely different one each time - I don't know where they're all coming from or what the hell happened to their predecessors. ).

Thanks, guys!