Support Group

[Oxidizer]

Thanks! I will.

I'm gonna go next week instead though 'cause I decided going to London with mates is more fun.

[xTiffx]

Thanks you guys for the support. It helps to talk about it.

[claire_louise]

Thanks! I will.

I'm gonna go next week instead though 'cause I decided going to London with mates is more fun.

Oh, Andy.

[rachel&kim]

I'm feeling really sad. My mum's got cancer, she just got back from the hospital to a horrible letter from my papa that made her cry. She said she was really worried about how everything's going to turn out. Knowing that she's worried makes me worried. I can hardly sleep at the moment because I'm so scared for her. And papa's not helping. I don't understand how they can ever have been married when he's so horrible to her now. It's not like she was the one in the wrong in the first place.

[emmasi]

I've just woken up in my friends house, about ten hours from home, with the sudden realisation that I'm all alone. She's asleep and I have insomnia... well, she WAS asleep... I think my typing has probably woken her up and she'll be mad at me tomorrow for being awake at such a stupid time and making noise.

I was singing "Wish You Were Here" and trying to work out why it made me cry so much, because there's no one in my life that I've been close to who's left and who I still want in my life... then I thought, maybe I'm wishing that I was here... the person I almost remember being once, who wasn't paranoid and afraid of everything, and who was confident and knew her place in the world; knew she HAD a place in the world. I've been so confused about that lately. People tell you to be yourself, but when the person you are clashes with what everyone wants you to be... how do you get by? Where do you fit? Is it worth trying to change yourself to be like them, or is it worth never being liked or respected by anyone, including yourself, to be who you really are...

I'm so confused and worried. No wonder I can't sleep

[Pierced Musie]

... When I get my new phone, I want to give you my number so you can call me and leave ramblings of voice messages because I love you! I may not be here much but I do read the boards and you, along with a few others who have posted in here, I care about.

[MarMar]

I agree with Muse. I'm not very active here anymore, but I read you... Lemme know if you ever just want to chat or vent or anything.

...

We had a long-ish talk today, in bed, cuz that's my safe-space. I'm proud of us, and myself. I was able to let out some stuff I don't talk about. Nothing major, but I'm really working on trusting him even more than I've done previously. I mean, I trust him more than anyone else, but I can always improve.

[Skykat]

I'm feeling really sad. My mum's got cancer, she just got back from the hospital to a horrible letter from my papa that made her cry. She said she was really worried about how everything's going to turn out. Knowing that she's worried makes me worried. I can hardly sleep at the moment because I'm so scared for her. And papa's not helping. I don't understand how they can ever have been married when he's so horrible to her now. It's not like she was the one in the wrong in the first place.

My parents are still together so I have no experience of parents being at loggerheads but my Mum was diagnosed with a brain tumour last year and my Dad took it very badly. He went completely off the rails and though Mum never really said much, I knew she was worried and that made things a million times worse. All you can do is be there for your Mum and be strong for her but also don't be afraid to break down and let it all out every now and again. Surround yourself with a strong support network, friends, people you can talk to and let off as much steam to them, or in here as you can so that when you're around your Mum you can keep it together for her. If you want to talk PM me.

[beachbabe]

Thanks Jess and claire louise for the advice about A levels, i think i might take a gap year because with the grades im getting for AS its definetly a no no, its pretty logical i shpuld apply next year. or if i dont get in maybe try for another course??

Computer addiction: I need more help i think, ever since i got a laptop 2 years ago, ive been on the computer 24/7 now i have reduced my intake, and this is why my school grades went down i promised my parents that i will not use the computer during my A levels, and i did, and now im at it again, ( when my parents are out) its also getting a bit unhealthy im sitting here writing this when i have a chemistry exam tomorrow and so much coursework and i dont know what the hell im doing i think i really need help, i tried talking to my best friend she was addicted to the computer as well, but now she isnt, and she told me she isnt going to use it and concentrate on her exams and me im stuck here??? i know this is going to sound silly but it has ruined my life, ive even cut down on watching tv, going out, socialising all because of my computer addiction

[emmasi]

That doesn't sound silly at all. I told myself I wasn't going to post at message boards for two weeks... I lasted about 4 days, and 2 of those I was nowhere near a computer . I think at one level it's a form of procrastination, you put more importance on being online than you should because if you're not online then you have to face the real world and all the problems that are in it. The computer is somewhere safe, and even if it turns bad (like you have a fight with someone) you think that you can walk away at any moment, so you keep coming back with the idea that you can leave whenever you want. But then as soon as you leave, you want to go back to it because the real world is so much harder to deal with. There are people and responsibilities and conflicts that can't be turned off by the press of a "power off" button. It's scary. Which is why you keep coming back where it's safe, even when it's not really safe for you at all. You get so wrapped up in this idea of a controlled life, where you can leave it all behind at a keystroke, that you start to think, wouldn't it be so much easier if you could leave the real world behind so easily? Which then makes you realise how difficult life actually is, how demanding and draining, and you just dont want to live at all, so you avoid your work, you avoid your family and friends, and you even avoid the things that use to make you happy in the world, like tv shows or hobbies, all to cut you free of your ties, as if having that kind of freedom will make you happy. When in fact, you've just traded in all those things for a single and much smaller cage (the computer).

Of course I don't really know if that's the case for you, but I'm projecting my issues .

When I wasn't posting, I was a lot calmer. I didn't have to worry what people thought of me because I hadn't said anything for them to judge. Then I got scared of the idea that people would start to prefer this place without me and there'd be no place for me when I actually wanted to come back, so I panicked and started posting controversial things that I knew people wouldn't ignore, not for the sake of controversy but because I felt strongly about the issues and wanted to raise them strongly... and of course, I was immediately disagreed with, which made me anxious. I don't mind being disagreed with, but I often feel ignored and misunderstood when it happens, and it's frustrating when I can't get through to people... that happens in real life too. Mostly I just don't talk because I can't think clearly enough or fast enough to say what I mean. So in the end, I just don't say anything. Then people misunderstand that as me being intentionally rude or arrogant... Online I think slightly clearer and have a lot more time to type out what I want to say, so I say too much, too agressively because it's so important to me that people understand what I mean, because I know how easy it is to be misunderstood when all you have to go by is words on a screen. Then I come off as a bitchy know-it-all and people don't like it, which makes me anxious again and therefore more agressive and determined to be understood properly. It's a vicious cycle, and one that's very stressful.

Muse, Mar, thanks for caring. People tell me all the time that they care about me, but until I care about myself it just doesn't get through... but I do very much appreciate you trying and that means a lot . I'm not sure about making long and rambling phone calls to the UK though lol