Support Group

[Di]

Jess, you do what your comfortable with. It’s your day after all, if you think him coming will make you feel UN comfortable, as you have said.

Your only 18 once. I understand what you’re getting at, your going to be drinking etc... Etc... That’s when you’re the most vulnerable. You don't want things happening, that you’re going to regret or make him think the wrong idea. About him been the only guy there. Am I right?

Sorry, I have no idea or the experance about what you can do about you, getting upset about going to Uni. (That'll be me in September 09, when Tom goes away to residental college. Comes home in the Holls) Find someone your can chat about anything to . Confide in them about how your feeling. About leaving home.

I hope you 18th is a day to remeber for all the right reasons x x x.

[Jess]

^^ Exactly, Di. Ugh, it's so tricky. Maybe I'll just make it girls only.

Awww, I think mum's more scared than I am! But she also finds it a bit ridiculous that I'm upset over being eighteen when she's forty plus.

I'm sure it will be - if only for the fact that I have a hospital appointment, a driving lesson and an 'A'-Level English Lit. exam on that day!

Thanks, anyway. x

[Di]

^^ Exactly, Di. Ugh, it's so tricky. Maybe I'll just make it girls only.

Awww, I think mum's more scared than I am! But she also finds it a bit ridiculous that I'm upset over being eighteen when she's forty plus.

I'm sure it will be - if only for the fact that I have a hospital appointment, a driving lesson and an 'A'-Level English Lit. exam on that day!

Thanks, anyway. x

Your welcome Jess.

Yikes, you got a busy 18th bd then ...

[flutterby]

I'm not really sure if this is the right place to post this, but I couldn't really find a more appropriate place.

It's a couple of things, really.

I'm eighteen a week on Thursday and going out for a meal and then to the pub with some friends. I go to an all-girls' school, so the majority of my friendship group are girls and we're all really close. So, basically, there's school friends, two girls I don't see very often and then some church friends coming out with me. But, there's also this guy at church who I love to bits as a friend, so I'd feel pretty harsh not inviting him. The problem is, he has a massive (and I mean, massive) crush on me - he texts me continually, and hardly leaves my side when I see him - even though I've told him I don't like him like that and don't want a relationship with him. Even though I'd feel harsh not inviting him, I don't want him to get the wrong end of the stick about our relationship (he'll actually be the only guy there, too). Even though I've told him how I feel numerous times he still thinks there's something there, so I'm not sure if I should risk getting his hopes up by inviting him to my, relatively small, eighteenth birthday get together. The dilemma is, however, that my girlfriends say that he should come with us - I know he'd look after me, and they want to meet him. I'm just not sure what to do for the best, to be honest.

Second thing - is it normal to be absolutely terrified about becoming eighteen and entering into your last few months at home before leaving for university? I've never cried about something so much in my life, and I really feel like I'm the only one feeling this way...

Jess to begin with you def aren't the only one I'm panic-stricken too!

I think you should just tell him you decided to keep it girls only, that way he can't be upset for the simple reason he's not a girl...lucky there are no other guys going eh?! that would have been awkward! It's you celebration at the end of the day, Di's right you should feel comfortable! And you are right too, don't get his hopes up if nothing will happen!

A little off topic but is your birthday the 23rd? just wondering cos I have Lit exam then! Are you moving far to uni? xx

[Jess]

I'm so glad I'm not alone here - it's scary!

Yeah, I'm going to. I know, luckily it's a fairly small gathering so I haven't invited friends' boyfriends (who I get on well with), or anything like that, so I think it should work. I know - those were my thoughts. I just don't want any more drama!

No, my birthday's the 10th. And I don't have a Lit. exam on the 23rd, either. I just have an AS retake (poetry and drama) on the 10th, and then an A2 paper (on a random book called 'Howards End') on the 18th. xoxo.

[rennyren]

Jess and Flutterby ... good luck with being 18! It wasn't terribly scary for me, but my birthday's late in the year - by the time I turned 18 I'd been living away from home for about 6 months, finished a semester at uni and done my fair share of drinking, and it wasn't an election year so really not much changed for me. But it's normal to be freaked out - being a legal adult is scary. But you still get two years of using the "I'm a teenager, teenagers are allowed to make mistakes" excuse ... I'm turning 20 this year, and then it's COMPLETELY over for me ... no more teenager excuses then!

Now for my moan/whine type thing, copied and pasted from my blog because typing it out would take far too long ...

Unfortunately a distressing event has pushed me to a physical extreme which I have never before suffered, and a psychological edge which is sadly far too familiar to me.

I spent many hours during and after the event feeling nauseous, culminating in being violently ill in quite a scary way, involving small amounts of blood. As I write this, I'm still feeling slightly nauseous and quite sore, I'm hoping this is just from the muscle strain caused by the illness and not from my lovely friend Mr Ulcer (who was introduced to me last semester around exam time) returning, so fingers crossed on that one.

Secondly, my fibromyalgia is as bad as it was when it was first diagnosed, meaning that the muscles in my back react to the slightest touch and movement, making things extremely painful but also very difficult movement (and even sitting still) wise. My muscles are also extremely tense and there's nothing I can do about it, as I said before, as the slightest touch causes me extreme pain. I can't even handle the weight of a heat pack. Thankfully I'm very doped up on codeine (only an hour until I can have my next batch) both for the fibromyalgia and the near-suicidal headache that has cropped up behind my eyes.

And finally, most worrying of all as it is an entirely new sensation, I'm extremely itchy all over my body, like there are bugs crawling everywhere on my skin. It's worst on my legs, which after about 3 hours scratching are red-raw and covered with scratches where my nails (which are currently quite short, scarily enough) have broken through the skin. They're also covered in welts. I'm attempting to calm the scratching with some heavy-duty prescription rash cream and willpower. Results are about a 6 or 7 out of 10. My face is also starting to break out in whiteheads, and I've been feeling very dizzy.

The mental stuff you've all seen before. The usual wanting to rid the earth of my pathetic self (most recently there's been the notion of bifurcating my skull by slamming it through a railway boundary sign) and need of physical punishment (the near-unbearable pain in my legs, muscles and head seems to be keeping that at bay, the desire to drink about 7 bottles of tequila along with a few packets of codeine, and the familiar sense of being a useless, pathetic human being who should be blamed for all the negative events in the world, including the election riots in Kenya and the bushfired in Anketell.

To add to this, there's the new sensation that I am filthy and covered with germs, everthing I thouch is covered in disease ridden bacteria and surely with all this filthiness around a smallpox epidemic must be around the corner.

There have also been a few panic attacks, with their usual not breathingness and headspins, and the boring staples of the dry throat, croaky voice, general sense of numbness and extreme insomnia appropriate to most situations.

I understant that I, very selfishly, will now have alarmed many people with my self-absorbed whining, and I'm terribly sorry about that. I am sure that at least a few of you may be concerned about my welfare, after what I've just detailed about my mental wellbeing. Rest assured that no intentional negative actions on my behalf have yet taken place - apart from the scratching and perhaps some objectively unnecessary scrubbing - and I have no intention of allowing myself to take further negative action. I will, instead, stay in bed for a while, read some excellent books (currently "Love in the Time of Cholera" by Gabriel Garcia Marquez, on a distracting and slightly more upbeat note) and listen to the Whitlams.

Unfortunately I can't reveal the circumstances that have put me under so much stress, as they may reflect negatively or distress others. I understand that this might make it difficult to give advice but really what I'm after is some sympathy, and maybe some hints about dealing with the symptoms. As for the cause, I have, probably stupidly, put my faith into the other parties to approach me, after a suitable amount of time for my mental wellbeing and for the purposes of a calm and rational discussion, to talk about the event and how we can move forward from here to stop this type of occurance happening again.

Thank you for suffering through my self-centered ramblings and thank you again in advance for respecting my wishes/opinion and not insisting on a retelling of the circumstances.

Finally, I apologise for the plethora of spelling/grammar/syntax errors I'm sure to have made, I'm unfortunately quite emotional right now and not really at my pedantic best.

[emmasi]

I don't think you need to apologise for bad English when you're using "plethora" and "syntax" in the same sentence

At least it sounds like you've got some very real non-psychological problems in your life that are causing you all this stress. I have a perfect life, and yet I still find a way to make it a living hell for myself . Do you know I actually woke up the other night and had a panic attack over a box of My Little Ponies I threw out six months ago...? What the hell is that!? But, like with any other panic attack I have, I just tried to stay calm and talk myself through it, and eventually I was able to see that what's done is done, and I went back to sleep. That's the only advice I can offer - find a clear, rational voice in your head and listen to what it says. Don't listen to the one that tells you you're wrong, you've done something terrible that can never be fixed, and everyone will hate you forever because that's what you deserve... listen to the one that says you're just one person, you can't control everything that happens, and even if you've made mistakes, then that's not as bad as it seems, because people are allowed to make mistakes. Even big mistakes that don't seem like they can be fixed... Maybe they can't be fixed, but you can learn from it and move on, because for the moment you're still alive, and as long as you're still alive then there's always a chance to make things better. That's probably more optimistic than realistic, but you need to be optimistic sometimes, even if it seems crazy that anything positive could ever come from what you're going through right now. Being crazy every now and then is what ultimately keeps us sane

Also, watching hours and hours of Heroes DVDs serves as a good distraction for me... perhaps something similar would work for you, just to take your mind of things for a while and let yourself rest? Can't hurt... unless you start thinking you can fly... or heal from any wound, even if you jump from a great height and have a messy landing...... You might want to be careful about how literally you take that show . Although I'd be lying if I said I hadn't tried to stop time or read minds... I'm working on it...

[~Rosey~]

You guys in UK have to move out of home for Uni?

Wow

[Cerise]

What do you do?

[Marieh]

You guys in UK have to move out of home for Uni?

Wow

I had to move out when I was 16 (Year 11) totally normal