Support Group

[MarMar]

A try is better than nothing! I hope you succeed in finding someone who can give you the help and deserve and need. Hope you'll update us when you see fit And want to, of course.

[Megina]

Thanks Mar =)

And will do =)

[Di]

post removed, sorry abt people who were going to reply. I just feel to scared to deal with my situation.

[Cerise]

I'm just posting this for someone else, as the person would feel better staying anonymous

Di feel free to tell us if and when you can. You have an entire network of upport on him, and although it might be the hardest step to tell someone, once you do it will help the weight off you shoulders...

In regards to the fact that a lot of people on here have had problems with eating and food I would like to explain my story and situation. My eating habits are very erratic, and have been for the last two years. I was initially 11 stone and 13 pounds but then decided that I would never let myself get to twelve stone. I now weight 8 stone and 9 pounds- a huge difference in a short space of time. However I don't feel i went about this in the best way.

Somedays when i was hungry i would eat only ice pops as they have no calories in. I also purged on some occassions and just generally avoided food. One of my friends then hit me at a really low time, and told me that "everyone knew i was trying to become anorexic to get attention" This hit me hard and i forced myself to stop talking about my problems and to appear to be eating normally again.

Recently I have been better, however I feel really guilty whenever i eat. Today i ate 8 slices of pizza at lunch as a pizza hut buffet, probably more than I have eaten for a long time. I weigh myself twice a day sometimes and have a morbid fear of putting on weight even if only a few pounds. I used to kep a diary of everything that I ate, one day it consisted of a chewing gum and two pieces of toast. People generally don't understand how I feel about food. Evewn today I feel so incredibly guilty for eating all I did at lunchtime.

However to an extent things have also been a lot worse than people realise. One time mum and dad cooked a roast dinner and went out for the afternoon as I had got in late. The dinner was left in the fridge. I hid the dinner pieces in my room, and then took them to an outside bin, even going to such extremes that I put some carefully in the bin, and made gravy up, "spilling it over the side" to look as if i had eaten the food. I have extreme self confidence issues and often feel I cannot look in the mirror, one time so much so that I threw mine across the room and hit the wall, shattering it and it landing in hundreds of pieces. To this day my parents still believe that I tripped over my exercise ball- another problem I have i sometimes exercise too much. I once run for 9 miles, burning 1123 calories, when ALL i ate that day was a pot noodle with 353 calories in. This means I was intaking no food at all in that day.

Finally my latest stage has developed. I have begun to self harm again however this time as a punishment for eating. I feel that if i associate food with pain I just won't do it anymore. Some people know but there is nothing they can say or do that stops me. I feel trapped in a cycle that I can't escape- and more often than not the cuts although not exceptionally deep are worse than I have previously seen. In extreme cases i have also thought about stupid things that scare me beyond belief, throwing myself down the stairs, and even burning myself....to be honest it scares me to the extreme.

What's more bizarre is I love my life. I have amazing friends, a good job, and i love going out and socialising. Sixth form is going well...so why oh why am I in this circle that I just cannot get out of- and even now i'm sitting here thinking about cutting myself as punishment for the pizza. As wrong as I know it is there is nothing I can do to stop it...

[Kateritchiefan]

Well i was born with bad ankle's/feet so im not allowed to wear high heels and sometime's I get really bad pain in them which i have now am when i was little i went to have x-ray's and everything and the doctor's dont know anything about what i suffer from and was wondering if anyone has the same as what i have or someone else that know's something i could do

Savannah

[emmasi]

My mum read an article about a woman who was so tired that she ended up in a wheel chair. The woman's friend told her to stop drinking soft drinks with artificial sweetners in them. The woman did this, and lo and behold, she miraculously recovered.

Now mum has decided that she doesn't want me to drink Pepsi Max anymore. That is like my favourite thing to drink. I usually have one, two, three cans a day. But now mum's "cut me off" because she thinks that I won't be tired anymore. This all sounds incredibly noble, being cruel to be kind and all that... except that she comes in last night and gives me a 4 pack of vodka cruisers to "ween" me off the Pepsi... Call me crazy, but I think it's better to be "addicted" to a sugarless soft drink with like one calorie per can, than to alcohol, particularly a brand that has an incredible amount of sugar in it... Don't get me wrong, I do like them from time to time and I appreciate them being bought for me, but I just wish it didn't come with the accusation that I'm too stupid to take care of my own addictions. If I want Pepsi Max, I should be allowed to drink that, shouldn't I? And if being less tired is the objective... um... I don't know, how about give me something that's not a DEPRESSANT!! My mother... she is very very extremely weird. She knows my main problems are with fat and sugar too, and even that I drink too much when I get going. So what does she do? Makes me feel bad for drinking something that's harmless, and then gives me all the things that are genuinely proven to be bad for me... She is determined to sabotage me to make herself either feel better by comparison, or to make herself feel worse by having a pathetic overweight drunk for a daughter. I honestly don't know which.

[Cerise]

To be honest, I wish I was back at school. Life was so much... easier. Our futures seemed much clearer, we all knew exactly what we wanted to do. Some still do. Sara's gone off to College to study Graphic Design, Ksenia's studying Law, Jess is studying medicine - everyone except me has their life keyed in. Jane isn't at College, but she just wanted to take a year off (and she needed the money to go abroad and study.) That's what I wanted too. Or so I said. I just didn't know what courses I wanted to apply for. I feel so let down in myself that I've took a gap year, it's not like I need the money. we're not rich in the slightest but we've sadly had a few deaths in out family so we inherited a sum of money, about 5 holiday houses and I have a college fund anyway. i didn't need to go work. I could have gone anywhere - Italy, Australia, New Zealand, Singapore, America... Somehow I feel that I've wasted a good year of my life to do some long, underpaid, boring job with a pervy boss. My last job was worst but at least I was payed 81 Euro a day (9 per hour) and got 50 % extra when I worked overtime (which was nearly everyday - 9 hours work = 81 Euro + 2 hours overtime = 18Euro plus 50% bonus= 9 Euro. Total: 98 Euro a day.)

Anyway, I'm just fed up with my life right now. I guess the best thing about the new year so far is that no ones died that I know compared to the ten million people last year...

[Jayde]

I'm really worried about my little Sister. She started Secondary school this year and I don't think she's coping so well. She used to be so sociable in the Primary - lots of Friends, we hardly ever saw her because she was out with her friends or even out with some guys. She had to stay back a year in Primary school because of her learning difficulties, which are more severe than mine. I suspect she gets teased about it, just a bit.

Anyway, this year Jade has been very silent, and very mopey. She sits in her room all day. I only noticed what was really going on now, so I confronted her about it and she told me the full story.

We travelled a lot, when we were younger. Lived in Australia, Germany and now Ireland. We lived in places like Italy and Spain and Portugal and everywhere for short Periods of time (6 Months, 2 Months, 4 Months, just under a year) but she always made friends easily, picked up the languages quickly. Anyway, we always came back to Ireland for a while before we went on, and she had these friends here - and they were nice, quite sweet and we all liked them. Now she goes to Secondary with them and her Best friend out of them has changed. We'll call her Emma. She totally changed - before she was very shy, and kept to her Friends, now she's gone all showy and wearing make up and breaking lots of rules, well just like Jade was in Primary, but 'Emma' is being so mean to Jade. Two other girls from the Primary, we'll call 'Caoimhe' and 'Louise', went to the same school with Jade and 'Emma'. 'Emma' used to hate 'Louise', but now they're the best of Friends. 'Emma' and 'Caoimhe' used to be best friends but now 'Emma' ignores 'Caoimhe' and just goes around with 'Louise' mostly. I think it really depresses Jade, for one, who is also ignored by the other three. There are Three seaters in their school, and them three always sit together, leaving Jade on her own, Jade doesn't have any other friends either so she has to sit on her own. When 'Louise', 'Caoimhe', or 'Emma' arnt in School you'd expect Jade could sit with the other two, but no, they always invite someone else to sit beside them, without giving Jade a second glance.

That's that thing. It may seem little, but it really upsets her and I really understand that because that is exactly what happened to me. But there's other little things that her 'friends' do. She really doesn't want to be friends with them but otherwise she'd have no one.

Anyway, now Emma and Louise and Caoimhe are going to this concert and never invited Jade. Emma asked jade if she liked the singer and Jade said yes, she did. Emma, Louise and Caoimhe were always talking about it and when Jade asked what they were talking about they never told her. Then she found out that they were going to the concert and Emma used the excuse that she knew she hated the singer so they didn't want to invite her.

Jade has been really upset and I'm really worried. So I'm just seeking some advice I could give her?

I'm very sorry about the spelling and grammar errors, btw.

In regard to this post and the replies...

First of all thanks for reading and taking the time to actually write a reply - they helped a lot. I think I'm scared of people not liking me, but I think the girls in my class are starting to accept me better now, but don't hold me to that, because it might change tomorrow But that's the thing, school is so unpredictable now. When I was in the Primary I knew exactly how to act and exactly what'd happen. But i wasn't being myself. Now I'm being myself in secondary shool and it's turning out for the worst. It's so confusing...

[Cal]

To be honest, I wish I was back at school. Life was so much... easier. Our futures seemed much clearer, we all knew exactly what we wanted to do. Some still do. Sara's gone off to College to study Graphic Design, Ksenia's studying Law, Jess is studying medicine - everyone except me has their life keyed in. Jane isn't at College, but she just wanted to take a year off (and she needed the money to go abroad and study.) That's what I wanted too. Or so I said. I just didn't know what courses I wanted to apply for. I feel so let down in myself that I've took a gap year, it's not like I need the money. we're not rich in the slightest but we've sadly had a few deaths in out family so we inherited a sum of money, about 5 holiday houses and I have a college fund anyway. i didn't need to go work. I could have gone anywhere - Italy, Australia, New Zealand, Singapore, America... Somehow I feel that I've wasted a good year of my life to do some long, underpaid, boring job with a pervy boss. My last job was worst but at least I was payed 81 Euro a day (9 per hour) and got 50 % extra when I worked overtime (which was nearly everyday - 9 hours work = 81 Euro + 2 hours overtime = 18Euro plus 50% bonus= 9 Euro. Total: 98 Euro a day.)

Anyway, I'm just fed up with my life right now. I guess the best thing about the new year so far is that no ones died that I know compared to the ten million people last year...

Kat, I still don't know what I want to do... so I know where you are coming from in that respect. Seriously though, College isn't all what it's cracked up to be. College is only for some people, not all. You're only 17/18, you shouldn't be worried about that. Maybe when you are 30, you should start thinking about what you want to do, but you have years to have fun and enjoy yourself. Anyway, you can apply to college as a Mature Applicant, I think it's interview based and they look at your results from your LC.... so that shouldn't be a problem considering you got the maximum points.

IMO, I think you should get another job. If you're not enjoying it and you're not getting paid well, just leave it. You're young and employers employ young people like there is no tomorrow. I know quitting a job is easier said than done, but if you don't like it, it's worth a try. If you enjoy where you work, it makes a big difference in your life.

(Sorry if I didn't make sense, but meh. )

JEM: Drink the Pepsi! It's harmless (you might get a spot, but who cares?). Some of us can't drink it, and we wish we could, so drink the Pepsi!!! ... drink it for us. Please.

[Cerise]

Thanks, Cal, I know I probably should quit, but I've had about 60 different jobs since the Summer, and I'm scared of how it may look if I keep quitting I'll go and apply for a job at Starbucks... Maybe I'll get a free Coffee