Support Group

[emmasi]

^Just to be clear, I didn't say THAT!

[renatexx]

Hehe, yeah that makes sense I don't know though.... We're all very obvious people

But thanks for replying, both of you

No problem, Eli

[~Lynd~]

^Just to be clear, I didn't say THAT!

Lol yes,just to be clear she didn't say THAT .

But thank you for your honesty on msn.I don't know how i'm supposed to get help from people who claim they want to, but then they say things they can't back up when questioned about it. I appreciate that you didn't fobb me off when questioned and were honest .

[KaitieL]

I feel bad for posting this, it's just ridiculous high school love stuff, and more a question than a request for support. There's this guy I've known for five years now, we went to junior high together, and now we go to high school together. We haven't been close friends, but we have been kinda friends-y from time to time, and especially over the last few weeks/months we've been hanging out a lot more and spending time together, even if it hasn't really been just the two of us that much.

I could be interested in more than friendship, but I'm afraid I'm gonna wreck the friendship if I directly suggest something or come on too strongly, as he's kinda sending me mixed signals... Sometimes he don't seem interested at all, almost like he's definitely NOT interested, but at the same time aware that I am, other times he's suddenly asking me to start hanging out with him and his (our) friends more or saying that he misses me if I'm not there etc. I don't know, like I said he's sending me mixed signals and I don't know how much I should read into stuff.

You should just ask him before things get even more confusing for you. It sounds like he's interested in you but thinks that you don't feel the same way, so he tries to hide it and acts like he doesn't. If you let it go on longer, things might get worse and it could ruin the relationship if you don't talk about it now.

I do like Cal's suggestion too. Wait til he's drunk. True feelings always come out when you're drunk and he won't remember it if it all goes wrong.

[flutterby]

Just don't rely on him not remembering...I remember most things post-drunk and there's a strong possibility someone else will fill in the gaps for him! Just a word of warning...doesn't always go so smoothly! You could try making a comment or asking an open ended question that would lead to him telling you how he feels? I can't think of an example of the top of my head but yeh...

[Eli]

Thanks for the replies KatieL and Katie, you both make a lot of sense. I definitely won't rely on him not remembering, he usually doesn't drink that much, and I know that I usually remember pretty much everything from when I was drunk, even details from conversations... But it is a way to get him to be honest... I guess I'll wait and see, we're probably going to a beach party on Thursday. We were gonna meet up with some friends for a small party at his place last night, but he had to work today, so he called it off.

Anyways, thanks for the help guys!

[rising-flame]

Eli, let me know if you work things out. I have a similar situation. There's a guy I've known since uni (so about 7 years now) and he's always fancied me, but I've never been attracted to him. And it's very shallow but he's lost weight in the past couple of years and looks a lot better). I just can't figure out if i'm interested in him or not. We get on REALLY well. I got him into script writing and we read each others scripts. He knows all about my depression and has been really supportive. Plus he's been really helpful while i've been trying to finish off my degree. He was on the phone to me once for 2-3 hours going through an essay i'd written (forgoing getting himself an evening meal). I just can't figure out if i'm interested in him as more than a friend or if it's just cause there's no-one else on the scene and he "gets me". However, i'm also worried that if anything happened and it went wrong i'd lose a really good friend.

[Traceve]

I just spent the past few hours reading this entire thread (because I have nothing else to do )

Every single one of my posts seem so stupid now, but I thought they were way important then. And every single reply I got, turned out to be right. All those crushes did fade. And turns out when I posted on July 06, that I am in fact a lesbian, I just had issues coming to terms with it (still do at times).

Now, why am I posting now?

I'm not attention seeking or dragging the convo away from people who have bigger problems that are more important that I.

I was recently diagnosed with depression. Some say it's good to finally know why things have been the way they have for so long or it's good to know because now it can be 'fixed.' However, that is not how I see it. I find it such a struggle just to crawl out of bed in the morning, most days I just give in and stay there. I feel like I'm just wasting my life away and I don't even care that I am doing it. I have NO self esteem and what little self esteem I do have goes as soon as one small thing goes wrong. Some days I feel just fine, stable. Sometimes I walk tall for one day, feeling a glint of hope that maybe one day things will get better, that things are getting better and I have the strength to fight. Then one small thing goes wrong, and I’ll fall apart all over again. I then feel stupid for even considering that things could get better. I just feel like I'm just stuck in this pointless cycle that I can't get out of, even if I try. I don't enjoy feeling this way, I just do and after so long I'm almost used to it. It's just so much easier to give into the urges and thoughts, the way I feel then to fight it. The only person I can actually talk to about it comfortably lives interstate, without her I fear that I would just fall apart. I already feel like I am. But even she doesn't know everything that goes on in that stupid head of mine. She doesn't know all the thoughts. If I told her I fear she would think less of me, due to her own personal reasons. I just.. I want to talk to someone about those thoughts. I'll never act on them, but I can't help thinking about them. I think this may be a vent or whatever more than anything.

I just don't know what to do.

[Jayde]

Uhh, okay. This might sound... a bit stupid. Feel free to ignore this post, because it's not nearly as important as any other issues, and I kind of feel selfish posting it in here...

On Thursday last week, we got off a class early. I was walking out of school behind my friends, who were sort of walking away from me, and when I caught up we got out to the place where the coaches parked. Only one was there, so we go up and ask the driver if the Portmarnock Coach is coming. He said it wasn't coming till half three, but it was five to three then. I sighed because I thought we'd have to wait all that time. We walk down the road and the main girl in the group said we should get the 102, so she and the two others cross the road. I follow and almost get hit by a bloody car, only to see the double decker was coming around the corner. They thought they were too good for the double decker, apparently ("I'm not getting that manky old bus, it's always packed and I'm not sitting beside some stranger who probably has bad breath!" was what she said.) so they went on to get the 102. I tried to follow them and the main girl in the group goes to me

"No, Jade, you get Paddy's Bus. We don't want you to come with us."

I mean, is it stupid to have been really, and still be, upset about it?

Anyway, Friday, nothing much happened, except she kept going at me "What the hell Jade why did you make up that lie I never said that!!!! I swear I'd never say tha!!!" and on and on and on. I told her not to swear on anything valuable, for her sake. That seemed to **** her off anyway.

On Monday before class in maths (Ms. Walsh is always late), I turned around to her and was like "Look, I accept I might have heard things wrong." I only said that to break the ice between us, really. She said that she didn't appreciate my joke the other day. I was like, err, okay, if you don't want to accept my apology, then fine, and I was like I know what you said. And then everyone around us started saying "She never did... Emma would never say something like that... You may say it but no one believes you Jade..." the last comment hurt me. Anyway, the rest of the day - lets just say I was upset and you could definitely notice it. Aaaaanyway, I didn't go in on Tuesady because i was too upset to face them all. I left her a MSN message while she was offline and I hope she reads/read it. She should know what I have to say to her.

i no ur offline wile im ritin tis so it makes it easier to say. I'm not going to try anymore. I know what you said. and i'm sticking to the truth, i'm not letting you get into my head and change my mind. I dont know what happened to you, emma, but you changed. you started being a bitch towards me. I dont know what i did. but i've been trying to stay friends with you for months now because i had the desire to be accepted. i dont have any friends now but i dont care. no friends is better than being treated like crap by someone who claims to be your friend the incident at the bus really hurt me and i don't think i could stand it happening again. when i come in tomorrow i cant face you so i expect you to just leave me alone for once, i cant take your what the hell is wrong jade and your a liar jade. you can turn others against me, infact you already have. there wasnt any point, everyone thought i was a fat liar bitch long before this happened between us. i no you hate me emma. the feeling however is not mutual. I don't hate you - but I think if I stayed friends with you and you did that to me again i would. it helped to get this off my chest. but if you continue to say mean stuff like that i'll take it to ms campbell, i'm not standing for it anymore. i no you have veryone on your side. you told louise and civa to stick to your story, i heard you. you convinced everyone in the class i was wrong. you basically ruined any chance I had of ever fitting in. tbh, i'm better off without them tho. bye. what happened to you?

Sorry about this, I'm just so upset about it.

[rising-flame]

Gonna do a double post to reply to both previous messages.

Traceve: as odd as this may sound, you're in good company. There seem to be a lot of us on this board who suffer from depression (me included). It's hard, no-one is denying that. When i was at my lowest i considered ending it, which is the thoughts which scared me the most. However, things can get better, they will just take a while to do so. Have you considered going to a retreat or something like that?

don't give up, it's tough, really tough but you can get through it. If you need someone to talk to, feel free to PM me.

Jayde:

I think you're brave, for having the courage to stand up to your so called friend. She doesn't sound like a particularly nice person and you possibly will be better off without her. Friends come and go over time, you'll find someone who is worthy of being your friend and who won't stab you in the back.

I had problems just before christmas with two friends from work (they basically complained to my bosses bout me then went out to lunch with me, and read out a list of all the problems they have with me). Needless to say i had a ****e christmas, however, it's made me open my eyes. I'm still friends with them, one more than the other. One of the issues they had was that i have money to spend and they don't. I received three packages today of stuff i'd bought online (yippee!!!) and the not so friendly one said "wish i had money to keep buying things" in a really snarky voice. Rather than being upset about it i was more pissed off. She has a mortgage and is in quite a bit of debt which her dad bailed her out of (again) yet she doesn't think properly about money. She claims she has no cash yet keeps going out.

Also (sorry for this rant) she dropped a cupboard door on her foot yesterday and the nail is badly bruised and by the end of yesterday was a really pretty bright blue colour. i told her to go to the doctors to get it lanced to ease the pressure (i'm the first aider for the floor, i know a little bit about things) but she said no, she was going to the cinema (with what money???) and today it still hurts but she's just gonna drug herself up. Is it bad i have no sympathy?