Support Group

[KaitieL]

^^ I know everything you said makes sense. But sometimes, it's not that easy to get away. We never went on a honeymoon. We just haven't had time yet, his cousin got married the weekend after we did, both my sister's birthdays were that week, we had Christmas and New Year, and then my son's first birthday the week after that. I'm starting to think the wedding was rushed (even though we had a full year to plan), I think it was just the timing. There was too much stuff going on around the wedding and I'm regretting doing it that way. You know how people say that they day you get married is supposed to be the best day of your life, well it wasn't for me. Sure it was ok, and I knew the real meaning of the day but I just wish we had eloped or gone to the court house. I hated the way we did things and It might be why I'm resenting the marriage.

I'm looking for a part time job at the moment but I'm not sure what I want to do and I don't want to rush back into work like I did last time. I went back after my son was born, when he was only 5 months old, so we could pay for the wedding. I hated doing it, I didn't want to work until he was at least 1. The place where I was working started to get real bitchy and I decided that it wasn't worth the money so I quit because I really just wanted to spend time with my bub, who was 13 months at the time. I regretted rushing back into work like that and I don't want to do the same again. That's why I'm hesitent about going to back to work now, because now my son is really clingy with me and won't even go to his father sometimes. I have no problem to find people to look after him. My mum doesn't work and she looked after him last time I worked for free (she did that as a way of contributing to the wedding). And it was a huge help financially considering how hard it is to find a vacancy at a child care centre. I don't know if I want to ask her again, because she would probably do it for nothing again, but I don't want her to do it for nothing. She raised me, my two sisters and my little bro, whos 10 without working and I thank her for that. I loved having one parent home all the time. And if my dad was working night shift, we never got to see him but at least mum was there. I guess what I'm trying to say is that that's they type of parent I want to be, just like mum.

[Barbara]

^ Don’t rush back into work if you’re not ready.

Isn’t there something you could do at home? For instance, in Belgium, you can sometimes find ads from companies in the newspapers. Those companies send you boxes with invitations/advertisements/etc. and envelopes. Your job is to put them in the envelopes. Once you’re done, they come and get them. I heard the pay is quite good. I don’t know how much they pay though. Maybe you can find out if there’s something like that in Australia.

Ok, the job’s not very interesting but you would earn a bit of money and you can do it at home and stay with your son. And find a ‘real’ (part-time) job you really like when your son goes to school.

If you’re artistic or creative, you could make jewellery or something else and sell it. I don’t know. Your fics are really good. Ever thought about writing a book maybe? You could do this as a job or a hobby. Either way, it would keep you busy for a while so you don’t have to think about your problems.

My grandparents used to watch me, my sister and my cousins and they always wanted to do it for free. Grandparents like taking care of their grandchildren. If your mum really doesn’t want you to pay her, that’s understandable. It’s her grandson and she loves him. That's probably why she wants to be it for free. Maybe you can buy her a gift from time to time to thank her instead.

I know my parents won’t want me to pay them when they’ll be looking after my children. My sister and I don’t have children yet but they already let us know they don’t want any money. Would you want your son to pay you for taking care of his children?

If you really don’t want to be a working mum, don’t be. If you change your mind, you can always find a job or just a part-time job later. Just don’t rush into it if you’re not ready.

[.Amy.]

- On the School tour we're going to a Planetarium in Armagh (http://www.armaghplanet.com/)

Completely off-topic but I love near there! Its crap.

[Foxy]

I'm always a bit wary about posting in here....not because of what people might say to me, but just because i'm usually a fairly guarded person. I don't even know if this is the right place for this or whether it should be in the 'have a moan' thread.

But, once again, I seem to have set myself to be trodden all over.....a little subconcious inkling told me so but I refused to listen, it'd be different this time....but it wasn't. And now I just....I physically don't know what to do, how to pick myself up and move forward or anything. It doesn't help that I'm in limbo and can't find out 'the truth' until Friday, but either way I've been lied to, it's just the scale of the lie that will ultimately dertermine the scale of the emotional damage. And I can't help feeling it's not going to be nice.

Hell, it's already not nice, I feel physically sick, the one person in the whole entire world that I thought I could trust with absolutely anything and everything has betrayed me. And I can't stop crying. And ARGH. Sorry about this, it's cryptic, it's messy but....I just needed to put it out there. Chances are you might be hearing from me a little more often in this thread in future.....

[Jamey-Maria]

It certainley doesn't sound good to read. I'd suggest not trying to pick yourself up just yet. Whatever happened was obviously pretty big so taking your time in picking yourself up when your ready is probably the best move. Cry and wollow for as long as you need to. I don't really know what else to say other than I hope it starts looking up soon.

[Zetti]

I'm always a bit wary about posting in here....not because of what people might say to me, but just because i'm usually a fairly guarded person. I don't even know if this is the right place for this or whether it should be in the 'have a moan' thread.

But, once again, I seem to have set myself to be trodden all over.....a little subconcious inkling told me so but I refused to listen, it'd be different this time....but it wasn't. And now I just....I physically don't know what to do, how to pick myself up and move forward or anything. It doesn't help that I'm in limbo and can't find out 'the truth' until Friday, but either way I've been lied to, it's just the scale of the lie that will ultimately dertermine the scale of the emotional damage. And I can't help feeling it's not going to be nice.

Hell, it's already not nice, I feel physically sick, the one person in the whole entire world that I thought I could trust with absolutely anything and everything has betrayed me. And I can't stop crying. And ARGH. Sorry about this, it's cryptic, it's messy but....I just needed to put it out there. Chances are you might be hearing from me a little more often in this thread in future.....

Betrayal is a hard issue to deal with and if you feel like everything has betrayed then all I can say is you have to try and find the way forward.

[Zetti]

For the past few days I have been feeling really ill like I have no energy left at all and yesterday I collapsed. I didn’t want to go to the hospital but my mother badgered me into going. Anyways I had a scan and the doctor told me they had found something, a cyst or a growth, they didn’t say it was cancer but I could see from their eyes that it was bad. So they sent me for a biopsy and i get my results tomorrow, I just needed to let someone know, i don’t even know how to look to the future when it could all stop within a few months. I just feel like I don’t have long left. I just need to talk to someone other than some stupid counsellor.

[KaitieL]

For the past few days I have been feeling really ill like I have no energy left at all and yesterday I collapsed. I didn’t want to go to the hospital but my mother badgered me into going. Anyways I had a scan and the doctor told me they had found something, a cyst or a growth, they didn’t say it was cancer but I could see from their eyes that it was bad. So they sent me for a biopsy and i get my results tomorrow, I just needed to let someone know, i don’t even know how to look to the future when it could all stop within a few months. I just feel like I don’t have long left. I just need to talk to someone other than some stupid counsellor.

My advice is to stop thinking like that. You don't know for sure. It could be harmless what they found and that you have nothing to worry about. Your tiredness and collapse could mean that you're anaemic and just need more iron. Just try not to worry.

[Zetti]

Thanks. I am trying not to but its not that easy x

[claire_louise]

My advice is to stop thinking like that. You don't know for sure. It could be harmless what they found and that you have nothing to worry about. Your tiredness and collapse could mean that you're anaemic and just need more iron. Just try not to worry.

Totally agree. I know you might feel like you saw an ominous expression in their eyes, but you were probably already worried and fearing the worst. The majority of lumps turn out to be something and nothing, plus you're very young, so the odds are in your favour. And even if the diagnosis isn't good, you have every chance of getting better. Again, you're young and strong, and cancer is far from being a death sentence these days. Just remember that whatever happens you're not alone, you've got your friends and family to support you, and I'm sure they'd want to know how you're feeling.

Good luck, I'll be thinking of you.