Support Group

[rising-flame]

Good luck with it Martha-Jack, i hope you manage to get through it. I have no experience of it myself so other than a virtual hug I can't offer much, but I'll be thinking of you.

[rachel&kim]

hi i thought i would post as all my friends and family have been crying for me to get help and ive been doing so the past two days, i have been starving myself for the past two weeks and not drinking aswell and when i do i force myself to throw it back up when my family arent watching and when i went to the doctors i found out ive got anorexia bolemia and my doctor said she will arrange for a counsellor to call me when she can but didn't say anything for me to do in the meantime, could someone please help.

I am really sorry that you've found yourself going through this. I struggled with anorexia/bulimia on and off for six years and I think it's amazing that you're getting help and that you've let your family in because they will provide much needed support for you right now. But when you say you're trying to eat for your mum, that's great but really you have to do this for yourself. Just take care of yourself and don't be too hard on yourself either. Good luck!

[lolajaney]

I'm not sure you ever totally recover from eating disorders. I've struggled with anorexia/bulimia/binge eating since I was 13 and am still struggling 13 years later not to fall back into habits when I am now trying to lose weight. But as the others have said you need to do it for yourself and find the cause of it, normally loss of control in your general life/stress related, and try to eliminate it.

Anyway, I wasn't really here to reply for that.

I feel really stressed and have for months. I went to the doctor and got some pills but I am scared on two fronts.

Firsty, I am concerned that every time I take these pills, I have had pills on and off since I was 15, that I turn into zombie. My hubby hates me and I walk around completely numb and feeling like I'm not quite here.

Secondly I'm worried that the real cause of my depression, 5 years of sexual abuse as a child, doesn't seem to ever go completely from my mind. The offender left my life four years ago next month, as he was sent to prison due to something else but some days he seems to be there. I've had counselling on and off, since I was 10 but I never seem to get over it or stop worrying if he did it to someone else as well as me. My hubby doesn't want me to bring up the subject as he finds it to difficult to think about and I am still trying to get everything right in my head as because I was so young I can't remember it all. The counseller has said that my brain finds it too hard so has repressed it. Most of my child has been blocked out due to this repression.

I was offered a few years ago to be able to see my social service records of my abuse, after requesting my records, but I'm not sure if I want to see them and whether it would open a pandoras box or would solve the problem if I could know the details.

Sorry to ramble but I needed to vent.

[rising-flame]

I hadn't actually realised that I've been feeling down for a week now. Thought it was only a couple of days. Hoping posting in here will make me feel better. Actually cried earlier, for no real reason, but it made me feel slightly better.

I've been off work for a month after a foot operation. I think it's partly a case of me not looking forward to going back to work, have got used to being at home now, will be weird to go into work. Plus i've had problems with one of the women at work and i'm just concerned taht i'm gonna run into issues with her again. I know expecting to have problems isn't healthy.

Plus i've got a new boyfriend, we've been together just over a month and everything is going fine, so i couldn't figure out why i'm having doubts. unless it's cause my brain is trying to get used to the idea of me getting what i want for what. I just feel so confused and unhappy and i have no reason to be unhappy.

Any advice anyone?

[darlingg]

rising-flame, I'm not really good at giving advice, but when I have an off-day or days I try to do something fun or do things that make you happy.

Just spend a day with your friends or go to the cinema or something. And have some me-time.

Read a book that you like or go for a good long walk, maybe with your boyfriend.

Or do nice things with your boyfriend. Cook him a nice dinner or surprise him of go away for a weekend?

And if you really don't like working where you work anymore, I would look for another job. Because you spend a lot of time at work and if you don't like it there, you take that feeling home with you.

I don't know if this will help you, but like I said I'm not good at giving advice.

I hope it will all turn out ok.

xx

[rising-flame]

Thanks for the advice. Half the time just having someone reply helps. Ended up watching stuff on telly and getting an early night (9.30pm!) but still didn't sleep till gone midnight.

Back in work now and it's not too bad, i enjoy my job (most of it) but being away for a month throws you out a bit, i'd got too used to being at home during the day. Normally about this time I'd be doing coursework having got up an hour earlier!

My boyfriend lives an hours drive away so seeing him has to be planned (though he works only 15 mins from where i live). Am feeling a little happier about things, just hoping i get to sleep easily tonight.

[martha-jack]

hey ive just read the comments and would like to say a big thankyou to everyone here, ive been sent from hospital to hospital and doctor to doctor and ive seen counsellors and now im eating quite a bit more than i have been and havn't been sick in a few days as i havn't forced myself, everyone thinks i'm on a good road to recovery but the trouble is i don't really want to eat, i still have a voice in my ear telling me not to eat and its killing me everytime i do i really don't want to eat and i keep wanting to throw up but i know i need to do this for my family and friends but i'm only eating when they are there asking me to what should i do its really annoying me

[rising-flame]

martha-jack, you're doing well so far, just remember you also need to eat for you. but be proud of yourself for what you've acheived so far, it may not seem much to other people, but baby-steps is the way to go.

Okay, i'm going on a date tonight, it's the second proper date with my boyfriend and i'm really nervous, cause we've actually been together nearly six weeks, but because i've been recovering from a foot operation, all our "dates" have been in my lounge watchign films or doing jigsaws. Gonna be weird actually going out with him again, which could be why i'm really nervous about it.

[whispered_envy]

I did something incredibly, incredibly stupid yesterday...

...and now I feel horrible because I made heaps of people close to me so upset...

...I don't even know why I did it...I just wanted to escape from being me for a while...

Urgh.

[maccaz]

^ Why? What happened?