rising-flame Posted December 23, 2008 Report Posted December 23, 2008 <hugs> can't think of any advice that would help. I'm feeling unsettled this afternoon and i think it's cause i'm seeing my boyfriend for the first time in 10 days (he's been away) and i'm still unsure abotu the relationship. Invited him for dinner with family tomorrow night, but I was kinda relieved when he said he wasn't up to a family meal.
~Lynd~ Posted December 24, 2008 Report Posted December 24, 2008 lynd, I'm gonna send you a pm Thanks,I replied.
Lise Posted December 30, 2008 Report Posted December 30, 2008 Sooo...at the moment I'm on holiday and I was meant to be staying at my Dad's place but yesterday an old friend of his came over and she and all of his other mates were really worried about him. She had a talk to him and he refused to go and see a doctor and we couldn't get a doctor to come out and see him so we had to call the ambulance so he would go to the hospital and they could check him out. It turns out that he has blocked ducts in his liver. 10 years ago he was told never drink alcohol again in his life because of his liver but at the time he told me and my sister that it was only for a year so after the year he went back to drinking. Basically he's been an alcoholic since he was 25 and that alone has ruined both of his marriages. His 2nd wife worshiped the ground he walked on but he just threw everthing back in his face. She tried, she really did but she just couldn't take it, anymore. My Mum (his 1st wife) probably had the best of it because he's just got worse over time. Part of me is really angry at myself for not having the guts to confront him about it all but the other half of me is really angry at him for doing this to himself. Hopefully now he'll admit to himself that he is an alcoholic and whatever he's running away from by drinking isn't getting fixed by it. Sorry, for the rant but I had to get it all out and write it down and this just seemed like the place.
Zetti Posted December 30, 2008 Report Posted December 30, 2008 I cant really comment as I havent been in that position but to me it seems like your father made himself like this and he should be the one to pull himself out.
Lise Posted December 30, 2008 Report Posted December 30, 2008 Yeah, I think HE has to want to get better. It can't be for anyone else or it wont work because he'll just go back. For starters, though, he has to admit that he's got a problem because at the moment he doesn't think that. Thanks for the advice, Zetti.
rising-flame Posted January 3, 2009 Report Posted January 3, 2009 Turns out i wasn't the only one unsure about the relationship. So was my ex (we split when i went up to visit him. Then we took the dog for a walk and watched a film). We're both so much happier as friends and even went to a new years party together and he then drove me back (2.5 hours in a car wasn't as bad as i thought it might be). Feeling so much happier now (think the light lamp has been helping as well) missed the cuddles and stuff, but not the stress. Also learnt so much about what I want/need in a partner which i didn't know before. And i've also got a friend out of it who knows the important stuff about me (the depression etc) so we can chat when we need to.
Lise Posted January 3, 2009 Report Posted January 3, 2009 That's awesome new, rising flame! It's nice to hear that you've sorted things out. An update on me (or my Dad) - He's still in hospital and I'm back home now (which makes me feel guilty). We reckon that he's just hanging out in hospital until he's discharged. It makes me sick to think that he's just going to go home and start it all over again. I don't know if he understands that it could/will kill him. All of this makes me never want to pick up another drink of alcohol ever again but it can be hereditary, not that i get drunk that often, anyway. I'm going to visit my Mum's family tomorrow so hopefully there are no dramas there because I don't think I can handle anything else (as selfish as that sounds).
rising-flame Posted January 3, 2009 Report Posted January 3, 2009 that doesn't sound selfish Lise, it sounds like you're looking out for yourself which is actually the best thing you can do. Hope things go well.
tahliamarsden Posted January 14, 2009 Report Posted January 14, 2009 Lise, have you tried confronting your father about all that is worrying you? It sounds scary but it may work, sorry to hear about your dad. I recently just got diagnosed with gastrointestinal eosinophilic disease, or possibly hypereosinophilia. Its a chronic sometimes fatal rare disease. I was wondering if anyone else on here had any hypereosinophiliac diseases or knows of someone, as I'm having some trouble coping with a chronic disease at just 15.
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