Support Group

[Cerise]

Eli, I'm not really sure what advice I can give, but it sounds like S has major self esteem issues and maybe this is her way of expressing her issues with herself and trying to get reassurance that way? I dont know, but generally when people behave that way they are either seeking attention or seeking help - and I dont want to accuse her of attention seeking, not at all, but I think it may be a bit of both, if you get what I'm saying? She most likely feels threatened by your otehr two friends beacuse she may feel you like them better, and at teh same time she probably has issues with herself and is always nit-picking at facts about herself which makes her insecurities about your friendship worse, so she's subconsciously trying to say I need a bit of help, I could really use a friend to talk to.

Make sense, or did I analyse this too much?

[rachel&kim]

Sorry if this sounds really trivial but I just need to get it out.

A tiny bit of explanation, me and my boyfriend have been together for about two and a half years and I love him, I really do but recently it's becoming too hard. It was all fine until we both started uni and we're not at the same uni so it's become a long distance relationship. At first we were both completely thrown by the change and we ended up breaking up for a couple of months, both realised we were missing eachother and got back together and it was fannntastic for a while. But ever since we got back from Christmas holidays (and seeing eachother every day) we've been fighting even worse than ever. And we both said that we'd only carry on with this as long as it was working.

And to make matters worse, my ex-boyfriend has just taken a job up here and he's living with a mate of mine. So he's impossible to escape. And it's so easy with him, we've always just got on so well. Anyway, my boyfriend found out that he'd moved up here and that I hadn't told him about it and now he's convinced that I'm hiding something and something's going on.

I'm so tired of having to defend myself and sick of not being able to see him. I feel so miserable whenever I think about him and I know it's because I miss him but it's just so difficult. I'm scared to think about a break up, even just a 'time out' would feel so scary. Ahhhhhh! The whole thing makes me want to scream. I just don't know what to do.

[Jess]

I... I... I just don't know what to do anymore.

I let some guy take complete advantage of me tonight (when I've actually also fallen for someone else in a really big way); my hair smells like an ashtray (and I think smoking is horrendous); a guy who I'd really love to be friends with battered me for stress smoking, and I've inadvertantly made one of my best friends choose between me and his girlfriend (who also happens to be my longest friend).

I want to cry, I want to scream, I want to smoke - but the destroyed lighter makes this difficult.

[rachel&kim]

I... I... I just don't know what to do anymore.

I let some guy take complete advantage of me tonight (when I've actually also fallen for someone else in a really big way); my hair smells like an ashtray (and I think smoking is horrendous); a guy who I'd really love to be friends with battered me for stress smoking, and I've inadvertantly made one of my best friends choose between me and his girlfriend (who also happens to be my longest friend).

I want to cry, I want to scream, I want to smoke - but the destroyed lighter makes this difficult.

*hugs* Jess, if it helps, it sounds like none of this is any of your fault; the guy that had to choose, it's his decision, you can't help that at all. And smoking isn't such a bad thing, as long as it's not heavy and constant, so I wouldn't worry about that. Also, if this was a night out, things happen that you can't change, there are always regrets somewhere along your life, you learn and you move on. Sorry, terrible advice, but I've been out tonight as well.

[Jess]

I... I... I just don't know what to do anymore.

I let some guy take complete advantage of me tonight (when I've actually also fallen for someone else in a really big way); my hair smells like an ashtray (and I think smoking is horrendous); a guy who I'd really love to be friends with battered me for stress smoking, and I've inadvertantly made one of my best friends choose between me and his girlfriend (who also happens to be my longest friend).

I want to cry, I want to scream, I want to smoke - but the destroyed lighter makes this difficult.

*hugs* Jess, if it helps, it sounds like none of this is any of your fault; the guy that had to choose, it's his decision, you can't help that at all. And smoking isn't such a bad thing, as long as it's not heavy and constant, so I wouldn't worry about that. Also, if this was a night out, things happen that you can't change, there are always regrets somewhere along your life, you learn and you move on. Sorry, terrible advice, but I've been out tonight as well.

No, thanks for reassuring me that I'm okay, Hattie. Right now it just seems like I've made the biggest f**k up of everything, and it's nice to have someone saying to me that I'm okay.

Ah, the joys of cheap uni nights out where you can get hammered on nothing. :/

[rachel&kim]

I knew it, I knew it was coming to a break up. This is so difficult. We had the looongest talk today about what we should do and we both knew this was it. We both knew that the only thing we could do without driving eachother crazy was to break up and it's literally only been about two hours and I already miss him like crazy. This is so weird, I know what we should do to save eachothers sanity but I love him! Aaaah!! Relationships are crap! I just know I'm not going to see him or talk to him for weeks and I'm just going to have to get used to it but it's so difficult to even think about right now.

[Jess]

First off, I'm sorry you're going through a hard time right now. It's only natural you're gonna worry about your mum, especially if you guys are close - I hope she's okay.

The doctor probably won't just put you on meds just because you asked, but going to see them is definitely a good idea - they can help you. And if you see an unhelpful one, it's your legal right to get a second opinion. My best friend is on anti-depressants and, yeah, I'm not gonna lie, at first it was horrible - she couldn't sleep, and in many ways felt worse than before. But once the chemicals had balanced themselves in her brain again, she felt much, much better. She was back to the girl I knew before all of this started. I mean, don't get me wrong, they're no miracle cure, and she still has days where she thinks she can't do it and she's going crazy and she's gonna be stuck on them forever, and stuff, but most of the time they make a massive difference to her life. And there's so many different types they can put you on, depending on what the cause is, and everyone reacts differently to them, anyway, that I wouldn't worry too much. I think the first step in the situation is to just go to your GP and explain the situation.

Good luck, sweetheart.

[Traceve]

Edit: No longer relevant and don't feel comfortable with it still written here.

[suzannelgnz]

This time it better work....[Rant Ahead]

I'm in a situation that I really really don't want to be in, because i'm so worried about it affecting the way in which my friends see me. + My parents only know about part 1 (at this stage) (First things first I am straight + I'm a christian)

Ok, Back in October last year a now ex friend of mine S was drunk and made out with me infront of 15 of my friends + about 30 or so others (it happened at a club). I was so shocked at what had happened that I downplayed it (mainly because I never expected something like that to ever happen to me) when my friends asked about it. I didn't want to think about it, but I realised that I needed to have the support of my family + adult friends to help me through. I just wanted to forget about the situation and go back to being me, and that was happening until last night....

Last night I went to a flat warming for 5 friends who I lived with at the hall I used to live in (I moved out after a semester because I hated it). S wasn't even invited to the flatwarming but the boys didn't kick her out like they did the group of random 1st years who rocked up univited (they didn't invite her because they knew that she'd get really really drunk and do lots of stupid stuff (she's known for doing heaps of really sick stuff).Anyway, she was there when I arrived but I didn't see her straight away because I was outside most of the time.But... as soon as she saw me, she wanted to pick things up where they left off and asked me to kiss her. I said No, I really really really want to forget about that night, you were drunk and It was a (joke - someone made a bet that if she managed to kiss a chick that night they'd give her $50) + what had happened hurt me so much because I felt she'd betrayed my trust.However, me saying no wasn't going to be enough for her because she spent the whole night trying to get me to do something. (I'm sure she's actually questioning her sexuality, but I'm definitely not- ok i'm not in a relationship but that's because i was somewhat anxious about getting in one because of my faith and because I don't want to have to neglect what I believe in because a guy wants something more )Unfortunately she made me feel uncredibly uncomfortable but I didn't want to leave because I was having a good time catching up with everyone else (+ my crush Alex was there and he's completely oblivious to what happened that night).

I am really angry because I know that she's going to continue to press my buttons whenever she gets a chance to, and I want to be able to have a good time with my mates (i hardly ever get to see them now because noone is in any of my classes).Besides which I just want to settle down into a relationship (when the time is right) with a guy who respects what believe in and not having constant reminders of what she did.

[Rant Over]

[~Lynd~]

She's obviously not a friend if she's pressuring you for something you've made clear you don't want.If you have to see her at social events maybe just try to avoid her and she'll get sick of it and move onto someone else.

Sorry that's probably not great advise but i'm not sure what else you can do short of distancing yourself from your friends.

On a side note,i like the name of your crush .Small world.never mind,lol.

Also,shan,i think you should tell your parents your side of things,this woman doesn't love you she's playing mind games with you.Sorry if that sounds blunt.