Support Group

[Georgia]

Ok, I was going to put this in the Have a Moan Thread, but I have a feeling it will turn into a rather long rant.

Yesterday, on the way home from a family dinner, my Mum started talking about Christmas presents, and she asked who we needed to send them too, so I suggested my grandad's "girlfriend", (she was just a friend) because I couldn't remember her name.

For a bit of background info: my nan died less than a year ago, and my nan and grandad had been married over 20 years.

So we got into a giant discussion over it, and I went straight to bed, because I was upset. Then I could hear my sister crying and my mum comforting her, and I was sad as well, so I talked to my Dad. So my mum finally comes to see me, and asks what time I want to be woken up in the morning, because we are supposed to be going out. So I say I don't want to come, because my mum said some things in the car that really hurt me. Mum kept asking me what my problem was, so I told her, and she completely flipped out.

She said that I was selfish and that I had made my sister cry, and that I had no idea what I was talking about, and said that I should be feeling ashamed at myself

She didn't stop and ask me what was wrong, or realize that I was an upset 14 year old who has a feeling that her grandad is about to get another girlfriend.

If she had stopped to ask what was wrong I would have told her that: I always used to talk to my Nan. Every Sunday she would call up and talk to me, and I would tell her everything. I told her more than I told my Mum. I never spoke to my Grandad, and if anyone had asked me, they would have known that I was always closer to my Nan. And now I'm supposed to be able to talk to my Grandad every week, and I don't know how to talk to him, and I miss my Nan.

Ok, rant over.

[matticus01]

I cant do it... I cant believe it.

A good friend of mine, almost my best friend killed herself last night. I got the phone call earlier this afternoon from her mum. My head is seriously just spinning because I couldn't be there when she needed me most. She got kicked out of home because her mum couldn't handle her problems anymore. She had been in rehab a couple of times for an eating disorder but things kept happening in her life that made her end back up in the clinic.

I dont know how to handle this... only 6 months ago my grandmother, my best friend and my confidant died and I was only just starting to pick myself back up and get on with life.

I myself have suffered from an eating disorder and self harm, but now im scared. My mum is in hospital so I have no one to confide in and I cant handle dealing with this right now!

I rang lifeline but they dont understand, they kept telling me to talk to someone and that they understand, but they dont... they dont know what i've been through!

[emmasi]

There's nothing I can say to make you feel better so I won't even try. But... I wish there was something I could say... I hope that wish is enough to let you know that someone is thinking of you and hoping you find a way to get through this. I'm really sorry.

[Georgia]

Bec.. I am so sorry. I wish I could be there to help you, but all I can say is that I'm here if you need to talk to me.

My eyes are welling over just reading your post.

I am so sorry about your friend, it seems like you two were really close and had a lot in common. Just remember, you are an amazing person Bec, and even though it is so tough right now, you will be ok.

I just don't know what to say...

[matticus01]

thank you so much for all your lovely comments.

It means a lot!

So Im feeling better today, I think it took a while to get my head around the fact that she is dead! there have been a few tears today! but I think I cried myself dry yesterday, and the fact Im keeping myself busy is keeping my mind off things.

It's just all so surreal, I mean, she was the one who was there for me when I was getting help for my problems, and she stuck by me when I first started telling my close friends about the abuse!

I still think... if I had been there for her, this wouldn't be happening!

But for me, just one day at a time again... and having Georgia and Steph and a couple of other people to talk to has helped me!

So thank you!

[emmasi]

I think the song "How to Save a Life" by The Fray might be appropriate for you. I've gathered from the lyrics that it's about someone who feels responsible for their friend committing suicide: "I could have stayed up with you all night if I'd known how to save a life." Sometimes I find it helps to listen to songs that you can really relate to, even the really sad ones, because it makes you realise that you're not the only one who's ever felt this way, and sometimes that's enough to get you through it, just knowing that someone else has been there and survived. If nothing else, songs are great to have a cry to.

[matticus01]

I think the song "How to Save a Life" by The Fray might be appropriate for you. I've gathered from the lyrics that it's about someone who feels responsible for their friend committing suicide: "I could have stayed up with you all night if I'd known how to save a life." Sometimes I find it helps to listen to songs that you can really relate to, even the really sad ones, because it makes you realise that you're not the only one who's ever felt this way, and sometimes that's enough to get you through it, just knowing that someone else has been there and survived. If nothing else, songs are great to have a cry to.

Thank you emmasi

I do agree with the song

Thank you again

[emmasi]

Just to clarify, I don't mean that it IS your fault at all - of course it isn't! That's what that song is about too. You can talk and talk and do everything for your friends, but some people you just can't get through to. Either they don't want to listen, or their mind is so far gone that they can't even process what you're telling them, that you really do care about them and you need them in your life. It's really really sad that these things happen, but they do, and if it's any consolation at all, I believe that your friend is in a better place now. It's just not fair that the people left behind like yourself have to struggle on without her.

[matticus01]

Just to clarify, I don't mean that it IS your fault at all - of course it isn't! That's what that song is about too. You can talk and talk and do everything for your friends, but some people you just can't get through to. Either they don't want to listen, or their mind is so far gone that they can't even process what you're telling them, that you really do care about them and you need them in your life. It's really really sad that these things happen, but they do, and if it's any consolation at all, I believe that your friend is in a better place now. It's just not fair that the people left behind like yourself have to struggle on without her.

no clarifying needed

I love that song, and it is something that i regularly listen to and yes, when sitting here and thinking about it, I really do believe she is in a better place, because she was far too gone after everything she had been through. But I know she is probably sitting up there with my nan, looking down over me.

Thank you so much for your lovely comments, it means a lot!

[~Zoe~]

I think the song "How to Save a Life" by The Fray might be appropriate for you. I've gathered from the lyrics that it's about someone who feels responsible for their friend committing suicide: "I could have stayed up with you all night if I'd known how to save a life." Sometimes I find it helps to listen to songs that you can really relate to, even the really sad ones, because it makes you realise that you're not the only one who's ever felt this way, and sometimes that's enough to get you through it, just knowing that someone else has been there and survived. If nothing else, songs are great to have a cry to.

I agree Jem, that is a great song, & could totally relate to that song, & the lyrics when my uncle committed sucide two years ago. As my other uncle, who I sometimes, go and stay with, when he found the CD in the car, he listened to it and just cried, because of the lyrics of the song.

& Bec, so sorry to hear about your friend Hope your okay, if you want to chat anytime then just send a message