Support Group

[adellejefferiesxox]

Also I just wanted to say emmasi I'm not sure if this is your very last assignment, but for future reference maybe as you work on the assignment save each web address in mirosoft word that way you can go back to the website for information but also if you happen to use it in your assignment, you have your bilbiography already saved and you don't need to go back later after the assignment is done looking for the resources you used in your assignment, it saves a lot of time. Be sure to write down the names of books you use (including who wrote the book, what year it was published and any relevant information that might be helpful for your reference page). Then after you have all the resources typed up you can start rearranging them into alphabetical order etc.

Does a counsellor not help because you feel comfortable talking about your problems with a complete stranger? Would email/web counselling suit you better? There are good websites like Kids/Teens Help line and headspace that are helpful

Also remember no one ever said that uni/school was easy You just have to stick it out. You will survive even though if feels like you want to rip your hair out. Maybe set aside a little treat for yourself after you complete an assignment/school term/ when receiving grades, so you have something to look forward to.

[Dean]

This is a post from a member who does not wish to be named.

I'm 19 years old and never had a boyfriend before. I'm worried because most of my friends, my age have had boyfriends, at least more than two. I don't go to parties. I am pretty shy. I feel embarrassed telling people that I haven't had a boyfriend yet. Is this bad? Should I care what people think? Is it okay for a nineteen year old have never been with a guy before...

I want to have a boyfriend, although I'm not too concern with the idea of having one. I have felt inferior because I've never had one. I also don't think I'm pretty so I wouldn't consider flirting with anyone because I feel insecure...

Now today I found out an old neighbour of mine, she's the same age as me, she's just got engaged, which makes me feel even worse.

[suzannelgnz]

No, I don't believe it is. I haven't had a boyfriend in over 5 years. I hardly ever go out myself (because I usually work Saturdays), and when I do I won't always feel comfortable if there isn't many people that I know.

I don't think that anything your friends may/may not think about your situation matters, they need to try and emphathise with you. Finding the right guy takes heaps of time, especially so if you do have issues with confidence, etc. So I wouldn't be too worried about being 19 and single, you have a lot of time ahead of you so make the most of it

About the whole engagement thing, it can feel really odd when you see so many of your peers who are moving on with their lives while they are still so young.I have at least 20 peers who are engaged/married, and it's never really impacted on our friendships.

Just remember that you are still young, and you have a lot of time ahead of you. Relationships don't always = happiness, so do what you feel is right for you

[Symphony]

if I knew who the member was, I would PM them. Am not comfortable sharing things on this board, thanks to certain members.

But, no, it doesn't mean there is anything "wrong" with you and as Suzanne said, your time will come.

[emmasi]

I'm 24 and I haven't had sex yet. I don't want to do it until I find someone I really care about, and that hasn't happened yet. It might never happen - I'm not that interested in relationships. Everyone I know who's in one seems to be constantly complaining about it. I have enough to worry about on my own without letting another person into my life! To answer your question, it does seem to be unusual for people not to have boyfriends and girlfriends in their late teens and beyond, but I don't think it's a bad thing. I think a lot of times, people just get into relationships because they think it's what they're supposed to do, then they end up in situations that they don't want to be in and don't know how to get out of. I'll pass.

I do know what you mean about feeling inferior and insecure though. I don't think throwing yourself at guys would fix that (not suggesting that you would - you seem smarter than that). I have friends who are married and in serious relationships, and some even have kids. It worries me too sometimes that I don't have those things, but then I remind myself that I don't really want those things, and even if I did, now is not the right time for me to have them. If you want a boyfriend, just keep your eyes open for someone who likes you the way you are. Don't try to be something that you're not - that will only make you more insecure, worrying that the person will leave you if they find out who you really are. I know it's a cliche, but be yourself - it's the only way you can be happy. (Coming from a depressed person who's constantly trying to be something she's not to fit in with what she should be doing! )

[flyingwithoutwings]

Okay, so, I don't even know why I'm writing this... possibly for the sake of it, possibly because I don't have anyone else who'll listen right this second.

I just feel so... blah. Everything's blah. I don't feel sad, as such, just... emotionless. Like, the world's revolving but I'm standing still. And I hate feeling that way. I try so hard to "fit in" and be accepted, and I have a really big fear of judgement. I used to be this confident, happy person, and now I go out of my way to try and be accepted. It's sounds so lame and trivial, and I hate being one of "those girls" that cares only cares about their looks (I care about A LOT of other things though)... I just.. I don't feel pretty, or skinny (as stupid as it sounds), or worthy. I'm always told I'm "gorgeous" and that I'm the "perfect weight," but I don't feel it. I've struggled with body image for a few years, and sometimes let it get a little out of hand. I've also had depression, but it comes and goes, and right now.. I don't feel "depressed," I just feel.. different. I'm not chirpy, I'm faking smiles and I'm great and hiding how I feel. There's other stuff, I just won't say it, it's not worth it.

This sounds really lame, huh?

Things are just getting on top of me, I guess.

Forget this post. Sorry.

[suzannelgnz]

(managed to sort out )

[emmasi]

^Maybe just add him but let him make the next move. Don't explain anything until he asks you to, and then you'll get a better idea of how he feels about the situation. I'm not really sure if that's the best advice. I'm always adding people on Facebook who I have no intention of ever talking to, I just recognise their name and click "add"

I'm in here because I'm thinking about going off my medication. There's nothing wrong with it exactly... I just feel like I keep getting signs that are telling me to go off it... I know that sounds weird... I always planned to go off it once I finished uni anyway (and once the stress of Christmas is over) but that's getting closer and closer and I'm just a bit worried that it might be the wrong thing to do. But as I said, I feel like I've been getting signs... I've been finding it hard to be creative lately. In fact, the last time I felt really creative was when I was in between medications and was freaking out... I know I should be more focused on staying mentally healthy than on being creative, but my creativity is who I am. I'm an artist, and I'd like to be a writer. But on medication, I feel like that side of me is dulled and I just don't want to draw or paint or write... It's like I have no ambition. I think in the absence of hating myself, I've stopped trying to impress people with what I can do, which is drawing and writing... It's complicated, and even writing this seems hard. I don't know... I don't really think I'm looking for advice one way or the other. Maybe just a little reassurance that... if I do go off my meds... I can go back on them again and everything will turn out alright... ? Then I won't be creative again - great! It's like I have to choose between my sanity and my soul. Pretty dramatic analogy but it feels fairly accurate.

[tessalove]

Ok, I've probably posted something similar to this before, but I just need to write it all down I guess, I don't have a diary or anything so here seems the best place to put this.

I'm going through a pretty tough time at the minute, in all places in my life.

First off the youth group and church were I was called my second home, has become like a burden to even go to, It used tobe something I looked forward to going to every week, When I first started I didn't really know anyone, so I talked to everyone, I made good friends with a few off them, but those people I became close too when I started are people I baely talk to now, and to be honest I don't even like, Why? I don't know I guess it's my so called friends putting things in my head about them, I remember a time when I would tell Z anything and she would tell me the same, even the details of her love life, and now we barely talk, we barely even say Helle

My best friend has now left the youth (Sort of) And im going that direction, But then i get texts and I have people saying that im only leaving because she's left, that she's "dragging me down" I don't know what they mean, If they really knew me then they would know that Im stubborn and I wouldn't let anyone tell me what to do!

The reason I don't want to be there is because, everyone has changed, And ive learned some pretty sscary things about them, shocking things that you wouldn't expect, and there all different and back stabbing, there not how they seem!

Secondly, im really worried about school, I've been pretty ill and my attendance has slipped, But my work is fine, Im pretty smart, but I don't know, my teachers keep giving me the impression that im failing, but I don't think I am, I have a pretty good I dea of what I want to do when I leav ehigh school, But I don't know if I can get through the rest of this year, I really hate school!

And I hate some of my teachers, I just don't know what to do, or how im going to get through the rest of this year!

Ok, I feel a lil bit better getting that all of my chest!

[TelephotoMarigold]

I'm going back to work tomorrow and I'm scared. My doctor thinks it's too soon but I'm on half pay and broke and I don't want to lose my job. My manager has been quoted as saying I'm faking my illness, depression and anixety just to sit at home and she is the reason I''m off work. So help!!!!!!! Of course none of you can help and not even typing this is helping me.... My parents don't even know I've been off work because I feel ashamed for letting myself get bullied and becoming depressed... even more so than normal! I can handle my depression but this is something else... It really does feel as though I've fallen apart and I can't find the pieces to put myself back together. I feel Broken.....