Support Group

[matticus01]

Thanks Barbara,

thats the thing though. I hid it so well last time that it was almost too late when people finally did find out. And as I explained to her back then it was everything... mum and dad splitting up, mum getting a new boyfriend two weeks after her split with dad just to spite him, my depression at the time and the fact I was being terrorized at school every day.

And I do help her out all the time, I put the dish washer on and clean the kitchen and I even stay int he lounge and dont go near the bathroom and she does play the Wii with my and even sits there watching me some times....

I dont know... maybe she's just scared that I will fall back into it

[bubbleburst]

I really need some perspective....

I've been sick for two days now and I was suppose to work for that two days and tomorrow I can't work either. My boss sent me and email asking if I would be there or not tomorrow, I was out when it was sent. So I only received it like 4pm. Then a little later, because I wasn't so sure how I'd feel until tomorrow so I wanted to call work early in the morning then, which is why I didn't respond to the email my employer sent me.

So my employer ran my house and I missed the calls as I was upstairs. At work they have a staff contacts sheet, because my old phone use to be the one mum is using now, work still has mums phone number, but I've also given them my new mob number (plus home phone). I want them to have both my mother's mob number and my mob number, that way they can contact me.

So they sent a message through to my mums phone and I replied back to it, telling them I wouldnt be going to work tomorrow. Once again they called, and my mother picked up.

My boss wasn't happy. Since yesterday I was suppose to go to work, but didn't. I was feeling fine in the morning, all good. I was just a little tired, which was normal. I got dressed, assumed it would be a normal working day. But as I arrived in the car park (at work) I started to feel really dizzy and had stomach pains, over the last week or so as I've said in the "Health Questions" thread, I haven't been myself lately, and my job is pretty demanding. I was feeling so ill, I didn't want to risk going to work and then having to go home again. I started at 9:30....but it was 9:15. The call was made and my boss was aware I wasn't going to work. But I think what I did next what even dumber, there were two staff members (teenagers) siting outside, with their moblies, wearing their uniform. I was in my uniform. I decided to go to the pharmacy to buy medication. So I got out of the car, and as expected one of those staff members saw me, even though they didn't acknowlegde me....they are new, and I don't really like them. But tolerate them.

So about the call.....mum answered it....I was upstairs. My boss was really, really mad and yelled on the phone saying that I shouldn't be ringing at 9:15 to say I wouldnt be working. I know this, ringing at 9:15 is not acceptable, but I couldn't control it. I just had to go back home. So my boss probably hates me right now.

Previously and on every other occasion, when I have the day off. I would ring prior very early even sometimes letting them know a day in advance when I won't be attending work. This is the time first I've ever left it so late, and this is because I felt sick when I arrived. I was feeling okay at home. But in the eyes of an employer, are they going to believe me? I am young....a teenager.....some teenagers are knowing to slack off and skip work.

I feel really angry at myself....but I've always let them know in the past .... I've always been giving them a more notice if I'm not attending work. But this time was different, this time I didn't know. Maybe I should have just gone to work...

Now I am feeling depressed and scared to go back to work..... I don't know if this is helpful but his dad did recently die maybe its been a month.

[TelephotoMarigold]

^^ I hope things are better for you. Your boss has no right to phone you and get mad. At least you phoned in. And as for having a go at your Mum that is out of line. If he gives you a hard time request a meeting and take someone with you. Explain that you are aware of your sick record but you have been unwell lately. Perhaps you need to get checked out? Anyway I hope you feel better...

Well today I had a day off sick. I had an upset stomach and it's that time of the month. Some of you know that I can't have kids and well this time is really bad. Not only do I have the cramps from H*ll but also I feel really sad inside. Because I've had other thinkgs going on I've managed to put aside these feelings - like I'm worthless and I deserve this because of all the bad stuff I've done.

My brother lives with me and has his son round for weekend visits so my nephew was round this weekend and much as I love him I just really can't stand being around kids when I'm like this it just really upsets me. And when I try to tell anyone they often accuse me of being jealous and of course I am, I cna never have a baby of my own but it's more than that. I've had three miscarriages and I'm grieving inside and because of the monthly reminder I can't seem to get past it. Of course it isn't always like this... for anyone reaading this who is in a similar situation.... but sometimes... it just really hurts....

[rising-flame]

Marigoldy, hugs. I hope you manage to feel better soon, and you're able to feel less upset.

You have every right to be angry/jealous, and anyone saying you don't is wrong.

Hugs

[-Sarah-]

Hello

I'm usually just a lurker on these boards, but I need a bit of advice and thought I would ask you guys (I hope this is the right thread).

Anyway, last week I hurt my knee at home, so I rested it on my days off and it was fine. Then on my second shift at work, it began hurting a little and over the past few days has gotten worse. For the past 2 days, I have had to call in sick as my job involves a lot of crouching down and walking, which has been making my knee worse.

Today when I called in sick (only for the second time), my boss screamed at me and then hung up. I got a call about ten minutes later from the store manager explaining that they wouldn't let me go back to work until I got a letter from a doctor stating that working wouldn't make my knee worse.

I have an 8 hour shift tomorrow so I've rushed around and gotten myself an appointment for tonight. The thing is, I'm pretty sure work IS making the injury worse...and I'm afraid the doctor will agree with me and not give me the clearance letter.

My boss will be even angrier than she was today if I have to call in sick again, even if the doctor tells me to...I just don't know what to do to make everyone happy.

To make matters worse, my Mum's angry with me for making 'difficulties' at work (she works at the same place I do, in a different department). Everyone just acts like I'm faking being hurt, even though I have never done that before.

Sorry for the long post, I just wanted to ask your opinions on how you think I should handle this.

Thank you for listening

[rising-flame]

Firstly, having had an injured knee and had to be off work with it i can sympathise. Your boss shouldn't have yelled at you down the phone, you can't help your knee being in pain. Going to teh doctor sounds like a good idea. Can you take you mum with you (not sure how old you are) and maybe have her wait outside, then if the doctor says not to go to work, get teh doctor to explain to your mum why not. she might be more believing a doctor maybe.

In the mean time, try hot and cold compresses, and something like iboprufen.

[MTerry]

You should try to sit down with your employer, maybe. While I think that you shouldn't have to endure any harassment for not working when injured, I can see it from your employers side, too. Of course they want their employees to be at work, and it might be a stressful time, or perhaps they are having a tough time at work without everyone available. However, employees do get hurt and sick, just like everyone else in the world, and employers need to accept that.

Maybe you should try to calmly explain the situation to your boss? And it has to be better for you to be at home, taking it easy and getting better for a few days, rather than coming in, doing a bad job because your knee hurts, and probably injuring it more. Also, when/if you have a confirmation from your doctor that you shouldn't be working, your employer quite frankly needs to shut up and swallow it. It's not your fault.

Maybe you can suggest a solution where you come in, do what you feel you can, without putting a strain on your knee? You shouldn't have to, though, but if it's a solution that makes everyone get along a little easier, it might be a good one.

I hope it works out for you!

[-Sarah-]

Thank you

I went to the doctor and he said my knee cap had actually been pushed to one side due to the repetitiveness of my job. So that was why I was in so much pain. He ended up strapping it with tape so it would make its way back to where it's supposed to be.

I'm allowed to go back to work on Wednesday, so I guess I'll see what my boss is like when I go back. I am just very glad I didn't have to take more than a week off work, as that would make the situation with my boss worse.

[TelephotoMarigold]

I had another load of work dumped on me today. And I got shouted at when I protested that it wasn't my job.... Plus I had to format a word document (page numbers and annexes!) and it wouldn't work. Then rearranging my bosses diary, again... making sure that I do his travel to match and he has the right info with him... On top of this I have an A4 list of things to do before the end of the week.... Plus typying up the notes from a meeting held on Friday where people expect me to understand what they are talking about....

It all got too much for me and I nearly walked out in tears... How can people be mean when you are trying to do them a favour...???

[rising-flame]

becuase that's how people are. I totally sympathise with you Marigoldy. I work in an office too and some of the work requests and things people expect you to do can be ridiculous. I am lucky though, cause the team i work for are generally really good. However, i've done loads of temping where that wasn't the case.