TelephotoMarigold Posted January 28, 2010 Report Posted January 28, 2010 ^^ Thanks.... I managed to get a lot of things finished today..... including that horrible task that was dumped on me..... then had to shoot off for a meeting this afternoon! Tomorrow I have to book a load of overseas travel and catch up with anything the boss did after I left work tonight.... Roll on Friday...
emmasi Posted January 30, 2010 Report Posted January 30, 2010 It's my birthday on Monday. I'll be 25. I'm having a midlife crisis. After February, I have no plans for the future. I think I need to move out, but I have no money, I don't want to leave my cats, and I don't want to upset my parents. My dad will be insulted and my mum will feel abandoned. But I'm not designed to live with other people. Animals, yes, but not people. They've now been home for four days after two weeks away, and I've already come close to having two panic attacks, just because they're here. They haven't even done anything, which makes me feel like a bitch for making up problems were there are none. Even if I had the money to move out, which I don't, it wouldn't make me happy because I wouldn't have my cats. I can't take them with me. There's nothing I can do. I just feel so trapped. How do I celebrate my birthday when it's just a reminder of how many years I've wasted, and how little I've achieved?
adellejefferiesxox Posted January 30, 2010 Report Posted January 30, 2010 why can't you take your cats with you? Eventually you have to move out even if it will make your parents feel "insulted or abandoned". Parents can't expect their children to live with them for always. Everyone deserves a special day to spoil themselves even if you don't want to focus on how old you are, buy yourself something special, surroud yourself with friends. Maybe you've accomplished something small, it doesn't have to be news worthy - just a small success in your life. I'm sure your accomplished something! Just enjoy your birthday, if you have friends and family to share that day with you then that's a bonus! Why not take little steps to move forward in life? Get a job/or a better job? Maybe apply for a course? You're never too old to learn. Look in the papers/advertisements, ask friends, drive around and look for properties that are for sale/rent. Is a share house something to consider? (find a good friend to live with?).... Just some ideas...
emmasi Posted January 31, 2010 Report Posted January 31, 2010 Went out to lunch with my parents today. It was good. I had a nice time with them, which makes sense because they're nice people. I just wish I wasn't so... anxious. As the old saying goes, the things you're anxious about probably won't happen. Buuuut that doesn't stop me from being anxious that they WILL happen There's still dinner with my friends to get through tomorrow night. My friends are also nice people, so it makes no sense that I would be anxious about spending time with them. Ugh, to be normal!!
adellejefferiesxox Posted January 31, 2010 Report Posted January 31, 2010 why do you get so anxious? Do you suffer from an anxiety/panic disorder? do you take medication to keep you calm? Do you think the medication is effective if you take it. I personally find taking medication for illnesses such as anxiety disorders isn't a good thing, especially if you've been using it long term. But I'm no expert it's just my opinon. If you feel anxious maybe you could do something like listen to relaxation tapes, try a new hobby like yoga/tai chi, or dance...something that makes you feel calm and happy, maybe reading? visualisation? Maybe you could set aside a time for be anxious and think about your worries or write them in a book and then read it to yourself outloud? Have you read the books "Living with It" and "Living it Up" - they might have some tips for you. Or you could try and find some books in a library or bookshop that might help you...give you some tips
emmasi Posted February 1, 2010 Report Posted February 1, 2010 Yes to anxiety disorder, sort of to being on medication. I take half the dosage I'm supposed to because I don't like wasting money on 30 pills a month when I can get by just fine on 15. Not advisable, but for the most part it works and I'm happy. My natural state is to be calm and peaceful and happy, it's only when other people start complaining to me or around me or at me that I get anxious and start thinking that everything's going wrong, because they say it is. I'm exaggerating what they actually say, but the feeling to me IS exaggerated because of the anxiety disorder. It makes me want to avoid all human contact so that I can just be happy, but unless I run away to the bush (which I've seriously considered, and have already bought a tent for), that can't happen, so then I feel trapped and depressed, and being depressed when I should be happy makes me feel even more anxious because then I'm the one who's complaining about things! It's not fun. It's obviously very stressful. I WAS avoiding stress today and having a really nice time shopping by myself until my sister rang and tried to guilt me into lending my DS to her seven-year-old son for three days. To a normal person, that might sound like a reasonable request, and it probably is, but to me it sounded like "I know it's your birthday, but you do realise that nothing is about you anymore, don't you? It's all about MY kids, because when they came along you stopped being the baby of the family, and so everything you own and care about should - and does - belong to them now. You're just being selfish if you don't give me - I mean them - everything I want you to." *STRESSED!* She KNOWS I have issues with this, and yet she chooses MY birthday to ask me to put something I use all the time into the hands of children, who wouldn't even need MY DS if they hadn't already BROKEN one of the TWO that they have! *STRESSED!STRESSED!!* :angry:!! HAD my sister NOT rang me, I'd have been perfectly happy and stress-free, because I have already calmed down considerably about dinner tonight, because I've been reminding myself all day that these are my friends - and, unlike certain family members, I CHOOSE to have these people in my life, which means they must be pretty darn cool. And if I focus on that, and the fun we shall no doubt have, I think I will regain my calm. Ah I needed that rant, I really did.
rising-flame Posted February 1, 2010 Report Posted February 1, 2010 hey Emmasi, birthday and stress free hugs. Hope you did manage to enjoy the meal with friends and that you're feeling a bit better today.
tessalove Posted February 1, 2010 Report Posted February 1, 2010 I don't really know what to do :/ I'm kind of stuck in the middle of my 2 best friends who have fallen out, They haven't been talking for months now and I thought at the start everything would be okay they would be speaking again soon, but they haven't, and I can tell they will never be friends again It's my birthday soon, and I have an idea of who I want to invite out for a meal, but I can't invite everyone I want because I know it will be awkward and more than likely end in a fight I just wish things were back to the way they used to be, I miss the 3 of us! And I'm starting to see a very different side to one of the girls which i really don't like. :/ It just feels weird, nothing is the same anymore, in one hand im closer to other people but then I'd really love my old friends back And school is going down the drain, and I've been really stressed! And sick and stuff, But hopefully im doing well now! I just need to clear my head of everything and focus on school!! *rant Over* hehe
emmasi Posted February 2, 2010 Report Posted February 2, 2010 hey Emmasi, birthday and stress free hugs. Hope you did manage to enjoy the meal with friends and that you're feeling a bit better today. Thank you, I did . And I'm okay today, except for the fact that I just made a phone call to inquire about a job, and now I can't stop shaking
chari0t Posted February 2, 2010 Report Posted February 2, 2010 dudes... anyone but me here who have social angst ?
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