Support Group

[-Kevin-]

No she's only known the guy for 2 months.

Oh shes going out with him straight after she met him...

Anyway I think its her decision to make and more importantly her mistake to make (if it is a mistake that is)

[adellejefferiesxox]

Before I went to buy something from k-mart as mum was driving out of the carpark and guy ran into the back side of mums car. I saw the whole thing happen, I knew the guy would hit us and I was like "Mum!". Anyway the car got hit (on my side) and it wasn't damaged just a bit of black smudged across the side of the car. But it was a bit scary, mum was really shaken by it, her hands were shaking. I kind of feel like it was my fault as I was the reason we were there in the first place. I can't even imagine what is like for someone to be in a full on car accident. I was in a bit of state of shock at first, but I'm fine now.

[suzannelgnz]

Steph- It is very startling when something like that happens, my Mum & I were involved in a nose to tail accident in a supermarket carpark once and it scared me (although nowhere near as much as a friend of my Mum's who got side swiped by a logging truck and got away without injury despite the fact her car was a complete write off).

[adellejefferiesxox]

You really don't understand what it's like to be in these kind of situations unless you've been through it yourself. I mean you hear loads of reports on the news about major car accidents, its pretty scary stuff! Thanks for your response, it's appreciated

[matticus01]

Steph it is very scary.... only a couple of months after my nan died I smashed into a phone box one night with really bad rain and almost rolled the car... it wasn't my fault but I was so shaken... it felt like dejavu because I literally saw my life flash before my eyes so I know what its like.... but you cant blame yourself because it wasn't your fault...

Im glad you and your mum are fine

[tessalove]

This isn't real anything serious, just something I feel i need to get of my chest and with everything in my life right now it might feel better lol (its a few things actually)

1. School i so crap its unbelievable, im falling behind so much, I got my exam timetable and im in for foundation in everything which is kind of a bummer because i know i can do higher but my teachers dnt seem to think so :/ But that isn't really a big problem i juat feel the need to rant lol.

And my teachers are unbelievable sometimes, not all of them but a few, they change deadlines and just ke you feel awful!!

2. Im having really big issues with my friends, I feel like everyone has changed so much, and i don't know who is who anymore, Who i can trust and who is acually real, my birthday is coming up and i don't know who to invite because i don't want to cause any tension between them.

3. Im poor, like seriosuly poor! Were saving up for a trip to the USA whh is really soon, but all of my money is going into that & into school becuase I have to pay for a few resits becuase im not happy with my grades. I just want to have the money to spend, I basically got yelled at in school becuse i didn't pay £21 for science books that i dnt even need, i'll use them for about 3 months and then they'l have no use to me! I just need a job and theres nowhere hiring

4. I miss my friends! Ive lost contact with a lot of really good friends, some i got back after a while but im still struggling with a few.. And my best friend who I can only talk to on the interent at certain times as she lives half way across the world,, i haven't talked to her in sooo long and i miss her so much! I love talking to her it really makes me happy! I hope when i get my new laptop i can talk to her again!!!

Sorry for the long post, i feel a bit better now lol

[MTerry]

As for the friends thing, I can totally relate to that. Last fall I decided to transfer to a school a little longer away from home than usual, so that I could get a fresh start and try to make some new friends. One of the reasons were that I felt my relationship with my friends (all four of them ) was changing so much. To make a long story short, as the unsocial and shy person I am, I made no new friends, and whenever I came remotely close, I just panicked and shut them out. So me and my "former" best friends kinda started to hang again.

After this, we kinda realized that yeah, we had all changed, but that didn't mean we couldn't still be friends. And we're all kinda shy, so just finding new friends never happened. We had known each other for 10 years, and whenever we met new people, we just started to see everything about them that we had used to see in each other, but couldn't really find in any new friends.

And we had had some tension two, because two in our group had started dating, then broke up, so that was definitely awkward. But we kinda just let it be, and hung anyways, and it just diminished with time. Maybe this was just easier for us since we were a small group, but I'm definitely glad I didn't start to just hang out with one half of the group. Maybe it's best to just be open for everyone of your friends, then just drop if it's too complicated and awkward? If you start inviting this one and that one but not those, it might be easy for you to get the label of being selective and avoiding, and they might feel that you are taking sides. I have to admit, I was kinda avoiding to invite one in our group for some time, and later on I've regretted that heaps, because she's a good friend and just because there was some tension between her and this guy, she shouldn't be kept out. Things between me and her were great, and the only tension would probably have been between the former lovebirds.

So I guess my point is; don't give up on your friends yet! Everybody changes as life goes on, but when it's close friends, it might not be too hard to embrace. While we might outgrow or lose some of them, maybe it's worth a try to see if the friendship is salvageable? In the end, an evening of awkwardness might be better than spending a lot of time wondering what if...

[Georgia]

I totally know what you mean El.

First of all, I've been best friends with this girl, (we'll call her D) for about eight years now. Our families used to be really close as well, and I saw her practically every weekend. But then our families kind of lost contact (but that's a story for another day), and now I'm the one who has to make the effort. I don't mind making the effort because our friendship is worth it, so I invited D over for my birthday. We had a great time on Saturday evening, but then on Sunday, she seemed really distant and hung out with my sister more than me. She barely talks to me anymore, and I want her to make an effort to.

Second of all, there's this girl at school, (we'll call her L) who has this huge crush on a guy, but one of our friends is going out with him. I listened to L complain about it for weeks, and she ignored everything that had to do with me. I wasn't important. And then, I realized she was taking advantage of me. On her myspace page, she has everyone's name except mine. I'm really annoyed at L and myself, because L took advantage of me, and I'm mad at myself because it took me so long to realize. This is just a brief summary, because I don't have enough time to get into it all.

Third of all, the guy I really, really like lives in Townsville, which is on the other side of Australia, so nothing can happen between us. It's too hard to start a long distant relationship and it's not what either of us want. I have to start concentrating on high school, and he's getting ready to finish school, and start uni.

And fourth of all (and most important), is the fact that I haven't spoken to El in forever. I'm sick of time differences, school, work etc. because I miss speaking to her. I miss our conversations that used to go on for hours, and I hate not speaking to her.

[-Kevin-]

I am so over some of my neighbours!! Especially the cow living next door!

She was the only neighbour on the road that was ever close to my family and spent every evening in here while my mother was dying and every evening we would chat whilst doing our front gardens and stuff. I once thought she was nice but now she isn't speaking to me! The cheek of her! I have never done anything at all to her for her to treat me this way. Today was the last straw I went to the shop for a drink and there she was with her boyfriend and she completely blanked me! I was just thinking should I ask her whats her problem or what but I didn't want to cause a scene in the middle of the shop. She even wwalked between me and some other guy in the queue to get to the door.

I know shes not worth it and all that but really it does bother me because of how much good friends we were before and we have been living next door to each other for almost 16 years since I was 2! There isn't anything worse than living next to people who don't like you, especially when you get so frustrated because their behaviour is unjustified.

I just hate it all!

She is just another in the list that we have been drifted/drifting away from over the last while and rifts forming. My grandmother will be 83 in april and she currently doesn't talk to my dad and nor does he because of something that happened my dads brother and my mums brother a couple of years ago. She is getting very old and I know that she will be dead soon and my dad will feel guilty but he is just so stubborn and won't go see her, no matter what we say to him he won't go. Me and all my brothers and sisters don't really go see her either because we never really had anything to do with her when growing up but we are going up at the weekend , don't think my dad will come but he might be swayed by then.

Another person who seems to be drifting away is my uncle who we always grew up around and was quite close to my family! But ever since my mum died (his sister) he has slowly been drifting further and further away from the family . (This is also the same guy who was involved in an argument with my other uncle(dads brother) We also plan on visiting him on saturday as well I am rather excited about geoing to see some family I haven't seen in a while because there isn't anything worse than bad feeling within a family, TRUST ME!!

My dads sister don't talk to my dad either, all because of something that happened about 6 weeks after my mother died because he couldn't make it to a BBQ they were having because he was busy!! But it doesn't really bother me because I never ever had anything to do with them before my mother got ill and came out of the woodwork and now they've just gone back under the hole theyve come from. and Good riddance tbh!!

I just hate all the negativity going on with everyone and its really affecting me!!!

[DinerLandlord]

^ I'm sorry to hear that, you sound really stressed out.

I think with your neighbour the best thing to do would be to approach her calmly and just ask if there is a reason why she has drifted away from you. If she isn't sorry or has no kind of explanation, then at least you know there's nothing more you can do and you have tried to bridge the gap but she isn't worth it. On the other hand you could end up friends again. She might be feeling awkward for allowing the two of you to drift apart, and doesn't know how to reconnect. I get like that with friends sometimes.

As for your family, it is much more complicated. Families are so tricky, and relationships can be so difficult and fraught (my family is like a warzone sometimes). I want to give you advice, but at the same time I don't feel entitled to because I don't know you personally or your family. If I did offer any advice it might be the wrong kind of advice and only make matters worse for you. All I can say is I sympathise with you.

What is it with Irish families, eh? My family, and practically all my friends' familes have some kind of feud going on.