Support Group

[bubbleburst]

was thinking that this should be in the "support thread" but I thought that it should be in here instead.

A guy I know who use to work with me, he left the job a few weeks back now. He's going to live in another state. A girl that works at my work, the guy and girl are friends "I think". They have been staying over each other places. I was a bit confused as to whether or not the girl and guy were seeing each other as I caught them hugging twice. But then two days ago the girl asked me completly out of the blue she's like "would you have said yes if so-and-so asked you out". I was confused when she asked me that because I thought they were together for some reason.

It was always a bit awkward between me and the guy. I had a feeling that he might have liked me but then I was like maybe he doesn't. The guy doesn't seem shy at all (but I am shy!) and we had been working together for a while so I'm wondering why he didn't ask me. But then one of my bosses (a female), we're kind of closish. The girl told the boss and the boss was laughing saying "she was like oh you could have had so-and-so..." Then she said "he would have left ya anyway".

The guy was always doing nice things for me. Regardless of how long the relationship would have lasted I still would have liked to at least tried being more than friends.

so...yeah....I now have the feeling that the best friend of the guy which is a girl, possibly liked the guy. She's really sad now he's gone. It could possibly explain why she asked me if I'd would have gone out with him... I dunno. Need advice!! It's hard when there's a guy you like then the guys best friend which is a girl who is really close to the guy.

[-Sarah-]

I feel really bad about posting this, because it seems like nothing compared to everyone else's problems...

I have suffered from anxiety and depression on for about 4 years now- previously I have been on medication.

My counsellor/doctor actually passed away last year and I was very stupid- I stopped taking the medication. I took less and less until I didn't need it any more. I wasn't on any medication or seeing any counsellors for at least 10 months- I was going really well.

A few months ago, I started to notice signs of my anxiety and depression coming back. But I tried to overcome it by myself.

Just this month, it has gotten really bad- I can't sleep, I have to force myself to eat, I'm losing weight, crying constantly and finding it hard to cope with everything. I went to the doctor's yesterday and they put me back on my medication, but it won't kick in for a few weeks. I don't know how I'm going to last that long-I feel really awful. Every night I go to bed hopnig that when I wake up, I'll feel better, but every day it gets worse. It's like a huge weight crushing my chest.

I just hate that I've gone from being perfectly fine to being a gibbering mess who has to force herself to get out of bed, force herself to go to work, force herself to take one bite of something to eat and is tired of everything.

[bikinikill]

Hey Sarah

You have done the best thing by going back to the doctors and going back on the meds. You need to pat yourself on the back for that.

As for getting through the next couple of weeks, remember this little sage advice, "This too shall pass", and you know that it will in a few weeks time. So as glib as it sounds just hang in there. Perhaps go back to your doctor if you need some advice or support, perhaps write down three good things a day and try and focus on them. You will make it through this, you've been through worse than this (I imagine). Just take each little step as it comes, focus on having a shower, then think about breakfast, then get through the first hour at work etc etc. Little chunks.

You probably know all this already, in fact I am sure you do, but these are the best things you can do for yourself in this in between time.

Hang in there.

This too shall pass.

[emmasi]

^

I know how you feel. At least partly. I have depression and anxiety too and one of the most unfair things about it is that you get so down on yourself that you don't feel like you even deserve help. Just remember that it isn't your fault. This is just one of those cruel tricks that the universe likes to play - putting you on earth and then taking away your will to be here. If drugs have worked for you before then that probably means that they will again, so... just hang in there. I really do know that that's easier said than done, but there's nothing else you can do but wait it out and keep looking to the light at the end of the tunnel.

I've just started back on the only medication that really worked for me, Effexor. It's been about a year since I've been on it. When I first started taking it, I felt normal. People say "what is normal??" as if it's some deep philosophical question. It's not. The answer is, normal is when you can think and function without constantly being afraid and distressed and absolutely sure that everything you do is at best futile, and at worst destructive. I felt normal on Effexor and my life was great for months. Then it stopped working. I built up a tolerance to it. After trying three other medications that never made me feel normal, I'm back on Effexor and hoping so much that I can get a few more good months out of it before it stops working again. Right now I feel... sane. Relatively sane. And that's good enough because for the last couple of months I've been verging on a breakdown. I'm not great yet but I already feel better equipped to deal with things. Really, that's all I want. To know that I can handle simple, everyday things without panicking or breaking down. That's what I mean by normal. I'm getting there. Slowly.

[rising-flame]

Hang in there Sarah, it's tough but you'll manage to get through it. We're all here for support <hugs>. As already said the best thing is to try and take the day in chunks.

Are you getting plenty of sunshine/exercise. Both release hormones which can help improve your moods a bit.

[matticus01]

I dont know whats wrong. I've been feeling really down about myself lately and sometimes I feel like I dont even wanna get out of bed. My boss is stuffing me around with work, I'm supposed to be a full time worker and haven't even heard from her since Christmas time and money is very tight.

I was diagnosed with bi-polar a few years ago after my eating disorder came out and my parents split up. But I havent felt like this in such a long time. I have my days every now and again when I'm feeling down but it hasn't been this bad for so long. SO far I've not had the urge to cut myself which is what I also used to do but I'm scared it may go this far so I've been immersing myself in making icons and videos and such to keep myself busy but some days its just so hard.

I actually had my mum worried the other night with the post I put on facebook because she was asking me all these questions the next day about it and if I was ok.

I just dont know what to do.

[Emma_B]

I dont know whats wrong. I've been feeling really down about myself lately and sometimes I feel like I dont even wanna get out of bed. My boss is stuffing me around with work, I'm supposed to be a full time worker and haven't even heard from her since Christmas time and money is very tight.

I was diagnosed with bi-polar a few years ago after my eating disorder came out and my parents split up. But I havent felt like this in such a long time. I have my days every now and again when I'm feeling down but it hasn't been this bad for so long. SO far I've not had the urge to cut myself which is what I also used to do but I'm scared it may go this far so I've been immersing myself in making icons and videos and such to keep myself busy but some days its just so hard.

I actually had my mum worried the other night with the post I put on facebook because she was asking me all these questions the next day about it and if I was ok.

I just dont know what to do.

I would never claim to understand what you are going through with the complexities of the problems you've had with your ED and BP, but I have been depressed. Look back early on in this thread and you will see posts from me, when I was a wholly different person.

My life is entirely different now. Four and a bit years on and I am 300% happier having found out what I want to do. I will be a nurse in just a few months and every moment of my working day is both exhausting and amazing. I've got an incredible partner and the same wonderful friends who were the only thing that saw me through the worst times. I know that this right now is not how my life will be always, but I am excited for the future rather than scared and awed by it. And this is all despite having the worst of all times just a year ago, I had got out of my depression but suffered a traumatic life event that nearly destroyed me. Now I am one month away from having to submit my dissertation, and a good 50% more behind with it than anyone I know (nice one, Em!!!) I'm massively over my overdraft limit and my boyfriend just lost his job, meaning he has to move away. On the face of it, things are A LOT worse than they used to be.

But I feel completely different about it. Because that, for me, was the thing. They are feelings, they are not truth. I know things will get better, and although I am more stressed than I have ever been and I do feel myself slipping back to those feelings and thoughts, and how I used to deal with them (bottle of wine, anyone?! Sleep in til 2?) I trust that I will deal with them.

For you, and for anyone identifying with you, I would say to get help. Go to your GP. Go to your tutor at Uni and asked to be referred to the Counselling Serivce (if it's anything like mine, it is free and amazing). Don't suffer in silence. But also, please don't believe you will feel this way forever, because most people don't and won't.

The one thing I know in my life is that you have no idea where you will be even one year from now, let alone five. Your life can change for the better in a heart beat, but you have to be prepared to let it.

[Hannah-K]

I am only in year 9 at school yet the school decides that we have to GCSE IT 2 years early. Because of that reason i now have 2 weeks to finish all the coursework which means doing a whole project. It is also the holidays which means that i have to look after my 2 younger sisters all day, this means its impossible for me to go out with my friends. My parents bought my one of my sisters a horse yet i wasnt allowed to go on a trip to Pompeii because they couldnt afford it. I feel as if i do loads of things for my parents yet get nothing back and my sisters do nothing- we are meant to all share doing the housework yet i am the only one who does it which means i have even less time to do my IT. I have just had to make my GCSE choices and i feel as if i have made a huge mistake with them. I feel really stressed out about it all and have no idea how to cope with it. My parents just say i wont feel like this next week but it isnt getting any better only worse and i really have no idea what the point of life is any more.

[emmasi]

Guys... I want to thank you for being so supportive over the last few years. I know I haven't always been the easiest person to get along with. But even so, a lot of you have gone out of your way to reassure me and just be there for me in general. It's really meant a lot to me. But... I really don't think I can be here anymore. I've tried a few times to leave BttB but it keeps dragging me back in. I'm addicted to the drama But it's so not healthy. I honestly believe that life is VERY short, and I can't spend any more of it being angry and frustrated with some of the people here, or looking for reassurance and praise from others. Neither thing is good for me, because I shouldn't have to look to other people to feel good about myself, especially if it means feeling bad about myself first to get there. I have enough problems in my life and BttB is one that I can walk away from - if I'm strong enough (which I haven't been in the past, so here's hoping )

I know this is all very dramatic and self-obsessed but I just wanted the people in this thread to know that I've sincerely appreciated having somewhere to let my feelings out, and I've appreciated getting perspective and being able to help myself by helping other people as well.

Thanks again for everything. Have a good life

~ Emmasi (Jem)

[rising-flame]

Good luck Jem, I really hope things work out for you.

Hugs