Support Group

[Lesley Bee]

Janie i am so sorry for your loss, believe me i know what your going through, its not easy at all, but i promise you it does get better. Like everyone has been saying, dont be alone at this time and definately talk to someone, if you cant talk to someone close to you i would definately reccomend a councellor or a support group, it worked for me being able to unload to someone who wasnt as close to the situation. The main thing i would say is just give into your feelings and give yourself time to grieve, there is no pressure to feel a certain way at a certain time. I really wish there was something i could do to help you, but just know that your not alone, as everyone said we are all here for you.

Same goes for me too, if you need to talk PM me and as i said earlier, it may not feel like it now but i promise you it will get easier, take care of yourself xxx

[-Kevin-]

I don't know what to do , I really really don't.

For such a long time the only thing that frightens me no end is someone I love to die. Ever since my mum passed away in 2006 I've been so lost and terrified that it would happen again.

Now it looks like it is about to...

My sister was rushed into hospital on monday night with pains in her chest and she thought she was having a heart attack. But the doctors have said that the pains she were having were coming from her lungs and it could be pneumonia. Yesterday she spent the day having CT scans and X-rays, and the x-ray showed a "shadow" on one of her lungs, and they were worried and done an emergency CT scan. The doctor just told us that theres a hard mass on her lung and that its very likely that is is a tumour.

She had cancer when she was 20 in her leg, but has been in remission for the past 10 or so years. When she went into remission the doctors spoke about if it ever returned and they said that if it was to come back, it usually would be the lungs.

I seriously don't know what I am going to do, she is such a huge part of my life and all I can think is she is going to die. Why do we keep having to be knocked down by the same thing every couple of years just WHY? Just give some other family a go for a change! She has got 4 gorgeous young children, aged 8,6,4 and 9 months, and its breaking my heart more than I can tell you.

Watching the whole process of getting sick and chemo and death is completely horrible.

I am sitting here and I don't feel sad, I just feel empty and I feel a rage inside me.

[tessalove]

Firstly Janie, I am so sorry to hear that, You must be at loss right now! I can't imagine how you feel! that is such an awful thing to have to go through, and especially alone! I really hope you get through it ok, although it may take a while! Just stay strong!

Kevin, that is awful news! Just try and stay positive! Although you are almost certain just think on the positive side! That is such a hard thing to go through, especially with your mum and all, I can't imagine how you feel right now! Your sister must be feeling awful too, and her children. I don't really know what to say, but I will be thinking about you and your sister, and I pray she gets better and it is not as serious as it seems!

Stay strong!

[-Kevin-]

Firstly Janie, I am so sorry to hear that, You must be at loss right now! I can't imagine how you feel! that is such an awful thing to have to go through, and especially alone! I really hope you get through it ok, although it may take a while! Just stay strong!

Kevin, that is awful news! Just try and stay positive! Although you are almost certain just think on the positive side! That is such a hard thing to go through, especially with your mum and all, I can't imagine how you feel right now! Your sister must be feeling awful too, and her children. I don't really know what to say, but I will be thinking about you and your sister, and I pray she gets better and it is not as serious as it seems!

Stay strong!

Thank you Elainea

[xxJaniexx]

I just wanted to say thank you all for your kind words of support and thank you for all the advice it really helps a lot. My GP has put me in touch with a councellor, so im hoping that will help, anway once again thanks for everything

Kevin im really sorry to hear about your Sister, i really hope things work out ok and im thinking of you all at this difficult time, take care xxx.

[bikinikill]

Janie - My thoughts and prayers go out to you.

Kevin - as hard as it may be, try not to get ahead of yourself. Its been a couple of days since you posted, so I hope that things are looking up for your sister. There is always hope, always. And she needs you to be strong for her, so don't give up on her yet. Hang in there and I hope things are looking up for you.

[matticus01]

I dont know how to handle it anymore....

Today I finally snapped... I've been in tears all day and I havent stopped...

My second youngest sister moved out with her boyfriend... and thats all fine... but mum works night shift... and her partner works all day and im stuck cleaning a big house, amongst looking for a job as well... I do all the housework and I even cook tea because mums in bed... her partner puts the washing on and pegs it out of a morning so thats a little less for me to do... but my other sister wont do anything...

friday she was asked to do the woodbox so she bought up 3 pieces of wood... my and mums partner had to do it when I got home from dancing that night...

I done everything all weekend... cooked, cleaned and done the woodbox with some help from Richie...

Today... I snapped... I woke my sister up at 12 because she goes back to school tomorrow... and I kept calling her, and calling her meanwhile doing ALL the housework again... before I finally lost it... I worked myself up into such a state I've been crying ever since... but my mum had a go at me when I got back home from my drive for apparently having a go at her... when I didn't!

she's a lier, a manipulator and a selfish cow and she using mum to her advantage...

on top of that... last week centrelink made me go and see someone because of the trouble I was having with my job seeker lady i was seeing... and this woman I had to see made me bring up everything... absolutely everything that I had finally buried in the past and moved on from.... since then... I've having trouble sleeping... I'm so stressed out and tired I'm barely eating one meal a day... I weighed myself yesterday and had lost 3 kilo's in one week and lately it's gotten so bad! I feel like I'm drowning and no one cares enough to even take notice or help me!

On top of that I also suffer from Bi-Polar... so its not helping!

[Barbara]

It's not normal that you're the only one who has to help out with the housework. You may not have a job atm but looking for one takes time and energy as well. How are you going to find one if you don't have time to look for one? I don't know how old your sister is but surely, there must be some chores she can do or help you with.

I don't know much about your past issues but I've already read about you having an eating disorder in the past and you eating so little and losing 3 kilos in a week worries me a bit. You mentioned in a previous post a while ago that your mum thought you were having those issues again even though you weren't. Maybe you should try talking to her again and mention you've got too much pressure on you atm and you really need your sister to help out. The fact that you haven't slept much lately and have been so stressed because of your current work situation and everything else you have to do around the house and live with can't be good for you. You need some "me time" as well so you can relax and do something you like (eg: hanging out with friends, making videos and artwork, writing fics etc.).

I really hope you're feeling better now. And if things get too hard, talk to a close friend/relative or a counsellor, they'll be able to help you.

[Lise]

Awww, Bec. I can kind of understand what you are feeling. I only have a part time job because of my health so I'm at home more than anyone else and as a result am left with the majority of the housework. My Sister works a later shift so is here later in the morning and for a while she didn't do hardly any of the housework and it made me feel like she treats this place like a hotel that has staff that tidy and clean after her. It took me getting to a bad place for them to realise that I don't live like this by choice so maybe you finally snapping will make your family realise that you need their help around the house, too. Maybe you could try sitting your Mum down and explaining what you're feeling to her? It's not alright that your family expect you clean up after them. They are adults so don't have any excuses really.

[-Kevin-]

So I feel completely f*cked off with everything now!!

I can feel a rage inside of me and I just want to scream and get it out of me but it wont help. I feel like everythings falling apart and theres absolutely nothing I can do about it, I just want somebody to help me feel good, but that is impossible.

My sister is scheduled to have the huge tumour in her lung removed on monday, she is having almost all of one of her lungs cut off. As long as thats the end of that I would be fine, she will only have 1 proper lung which as horrible as it sounds is good because she will live and not die.

She is having a special scan called a positron emission tomography (PET) scan today which will show up whether theres cancer in any other sites in her body, and the results for that will be available either tonight or tomorrow morning. I just know that it isn't going to be good, I know in my heart. Shes been complaining with pains in her wrists and knees and ankles for quite a while now which we just put down to her starting to go to the gym but now after about a month there worse than ever to the point where she can barely walk or do anything. Shes just so frail and lost loads of weight, which isn't good.

I didn't ever think it would be possible to be able to lose another person I'm extremely close to, the first time around was absolutely life damaging I really don't think I can do it again. My family is still not over losing our mother and now this on top of that, why is life so cruel ?

I feel like I have closed myself off to feeling anything about this, she says shes got lung cancer and she might as well have said it was the flu. I think I've subconsciously closed myself off as a defence mechanism after being so hurt after the first time. I don't feel sad, I feel absoulte rage. I feel like im bursting to get out of my body and screaming inside.

If worse comes to worse and she dies then it isn't gona be pretty, I can see all the fake support come flooding back after 4/5 years when my mother was sick. I just WILL NOT be having it , I will be telling them to shove it where the sun don't shine! In particular my fathers family who showed up like a bad smell when my mother was diagnosed and just dropped us like a hot potato as soon as she died. They've already started ringing, but I think they've got the message loud and clear though from the frosty reception we gave them. I for one won't be treated like that again, I spent so much time hating them and myself for letting them in to just hurt us like that, no thank you , once bitten twice shy.

Anyway I'll just have to see how things go tomorrow, although nothings gona stop me from assuming the worst!