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Dan F

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Posted

As I've told you numerous times on msn... I'm thinking of you and your family... I may not know your family personally but it feels like you've become my brother and your family is like my extended family :)

try not to put yourself into a rut... I know that sounds stupid coming from me because I'm a complete and utter mess at the moment... but try to think of the positives.

My heart is with you... I'm thinking of you... and I love you to death! and what I'm going through is nothing compared to you... as I've said before... :)

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Posted

As I've told you numerous times on msn... I'm thinking of you and your family... I may not know your family personally but it feels like you've become my brother and your family is like my extended family :)

try not to put yourself into a rut... I know that sounds stupid coming from me because I'm a complete and utter mess at the moment... but try to think of the positives.

My heart is with you... I'm thinking of you... and I love you to death! and what I'm going through is nothing compared to you... as I've said before... :)

Thank you so much Bec ! It really means so much to me! :)

Posted

So I feel completely f*cked off with everything now!!

I can feel a rage inside of me and I just want to scream and get it out of me but it wont help. I feel like everythings falling apart and theres absolutely nothing I can do about it, I just want somebody to help me feel good, but that is impossible.

My sister is scheduled to have the huge tumour in her lung removed on monday, she is having almost all of one of her lungs cut off. As long as thats the end of that I would be fine, she will only have 1 proper lung which as horrible as it sounds is good because she will live and not die.

She is having a special scan called a positron emission tomography (PET) scan today which will show up whether theres cancer in any other sites in her body, and the results for that will be available either tonight or tomorrow morning. I just know that it isn't going to be good, I know in my heart. Shes been complaining with pains in her wrists and knees and ankles for quite a while now which we just put down to her starting to go to the gym but now after about a month there worse than ever to the point where she can barely walk or do anything. Shes just so frail and lost loads of weight, which isn't good.

I didn't ever think it would be possible to be able to lose another person I'm extremely close to, the first time around was absolutely life damaging I really don't think I can do it again. My family is still not over losing our mother and now this on top of that, why is life so cruel ?

I feel like I have closed myself off to feeling anything about this, she says shes got lung cancer and she might as well have said it was the flu. I think I've subconsciously closed myself off as a defence mechanism after being so hurt after the first time. I don't feel sad, I feel absoulte rage. I feel like im bursting to get out of my body and screaming inside.

If worse comes to worse and she dies then it isn't gona be pretty, I can see all the fake support come flooding back after 4/5 years when my mother was sick. I just WILL NOT be having it , I will be telling them to shove it where the sun don't shine! In particular my fathers family who showed up like a bad smell when my mother was diagnosed and just dropped us like a hot potato as soon as she died. They've already started ringing, but I think they've got the message loud and clear though from the frosty reception we gave them. I for one won't be treated like that again, I spent so much time hating them and myself for letting them in to just hurt us like that, no thank you , once bitten twice shy.

Anyway I'll just have to see how things go tomorrow, although nothings gona stop me from assuming the worst! :(

I'm so sorry Kevin! :(

I havent been on this in ages but as weird as this sounds, I almost feel as if we have a connection, seeing as we are basically neighbours and all! Please dont be freaked out by that! :P

Anyway, back to more serious matters! I had no idea about your sister! Its such a horrible situation, especially after everything you went through with your mam and all. :( We are going to chat more on msn ok!?

Please keep us updated and I really wish your sister all the best in the future. x

Posted

So I feel completely f*cked off with everything now!!

I can feel a rage inside of me and I just want to scream and get it out of me but it wont help. I feel like everythings falling apart and theres absolutely nothing I can do about it, I just want somebody to help me feel good, but that is impossible.

My sister is scheduled to have the huge tumour in her lung removed on monday, she is having almost all of one of her lungs cut off. As long as thats the end of that I would be fine, she will only have 1 proper lung which as horrible as it sounds is good because she will live and not die.

She is having a special scan called a positron emission tomography (PET) scan today which will show up whether theres cancer in any other sites in her body, and the results for that will be available either tonight or tomorrow morning. I just know that it isn't going to be good, I know in my heart. Shes been complaining with pains in her wrists and knees and ankles for quite a while now which we just put down to her starting to go to the gym but now after about a month there worse than ever to the point where she can barely walk or do anything. Shes just so frail and lost loads of weight, which isn't good.

I didn't ever think it would be possible to be able to lose another person I'm extremely close to, the first time around was absolutely life damaging I really don't think I can do it again. My family is still not over losing our mother and now this on top of that, why is life so cruel ?

I feel like I have closed myself off to feeling anything about this, she says shes got lung cancer and she might as well have said it was the flu. I think I've subconsciously closed myself off as a defence mechanism after being so hurt after the first time. I don't feel sad, I feel absoulte rage. I feel like im bursting to get out of my body and screaming inside.

If worse comes to worse and she dies then it isn't gona be pretty, I can see all the fake support come flooding back after 4/5 years when my mother was sick. I just WILL NOT be having it , I will be telling them to shove it where the sun don't shine! In particular my fathers family who showed up like a bad smell when my mother was diagnosed and just dropped us like a hot potato as soon as she died. They've already started ringing, but I think they've got the message loud and clear though from the frosty reception we gave them. I for one won't be treated like that again, I spent so much time hating them and myself for letting them in to just hurt us like that, no thank you , once bitten twice shy.

Anyway I'll just have to see how things go tomorrow, although nothings gona stop me from assuming the worst!

I'm so sorry Kevin! :(

I havent been on this in ages but as weird as this sounds, I almost feel as if we have a connection, seeing as we are basically neighbours and all! Please dont be freaked out by that!

Anyway, back to more serious matters! I had no idea about your sister! Its such a horrible situation, especially after everything you went through with your mam and all. We are going to chat more on msn ok!?

Please keep us updated and I really wish your sister all the best in the future. x

Thank you Saoirse!

haha yeah we are like neighbours, Kilkenny and Waterford are neighbouring counties after all :lol: (you are in Kilkenny right? :P )

Oh yes , Msn! I live on it after all :P

Posted

So I feel completely f*cked off with everything now!!

I can feel a rage inside of me and I just want to scream and get it out of me but it wont help. I feel like everythings falling apart and theres absolutely nothing I can do about it, I just want somebody to help me feel good, but that is impossible.

My sister is scheduled to have the huge tumour in her lung removed on monday, she is having almost all of one of her lungs cut off. As long as thats the end of that I would be fine, she will only have 1 proper lung which as horrible as it sounds is good because she will live and not die.

She is having a special scan called a positron emission tomography (PET) scan today which will show up whether theres cancer in any other sites in her body, and the results for that will be available either tonight or tomorrow morning. I just know that it isn't going to be good, I know in my heart. Shes been complaining with pains in her wrists and knees and ankles for quite a while now which we just put down to her starting to go to the gym but now after about a month there worse than ever to the point where she can barely walk or do anything. Shes just so frail and lost loads of weight, which isn't good.

I didn't ever think it would be possible to be able to lose another person I'm extremely close to, the first time around was absolutely life damaging I really don't think I can do it again. My family is still not over losing our mother and now this on top of that, why is life so cruel ?

I feel like I have closed myself off to feeling anything about this, she says shes got lung cancer and she might as well have said it was the flu. I think I've subconsciously closed myself off as a defence mechanism after being so hurt after the first time. I don't feel sad, I feel absoulte rage. I feel like im bursting to get out of my body and screaming inside.

If worse comes to worse and she dies then it isn't gona be pretty, I can see all the fake support come flooding back after 4/5 years when my mother was sick. I just WILL NOT be having it , I will be telling them to shove it where the sun don't shine! In particular my fathers family who showed up like a bad smell when my mother was diagnosed and just dropped us like a hot potato as soon as she died. They've already started ringing, but I think they've got the message loud and clear though from the frosty reception we gave them. I for one won't be treated like that again, I spent so much time hating them and myself for letting them in to just hurt us like that, no thank you , once bitten twice shy.

Anyway I'll just have to see how things go tomorrow, although nothings gona stop me from assuming the worst!

I'm so sorry Kevin! :(

I havent been on this in ages but as weird as this sounds, I almost feel as if we have a connection, seeing as we are basically neighbours and all! Please dont be freaked out by that!

Anyway, back to more serious matters! I had no idea about your sister! Its such a horrible situation, especially after everything you went through with your mam and all. We are going to chat more on msn ok!?

Please keep us updated and I really wish your sister all the best in the future. x

Thank you Saoirse!

haha yeah we are like neighbours, Kilkenny and Waterford are neighbouring counties after all :lol: (you are in Kilkenny right? :P )

Oh yes , Msn! I live on it after all :P

Yes yes indeed!! You know i'm here whenever you need to talk! :)

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