Support Group

[-Sarah-]

I think I'm driving myself crazy.

My whole life I've been told I'm not good enough, that I'm ugly, that I'm fat (all this at school) and I thought I'd never find a boyfriend because of all that.

I've been out of school for years and I finally found the right guy for me and we've been dating for 8 months now, but from the very moment we started dating, all my anxiety came flooding back and there's this constant voice in my head saying "you're not good enough for him, you're annoying and he's going to dump you".

He tells me he loves me, he knows about my anxiety, he understands me better than anyone, he says he loves me no matter what, but as soon as he doesn't reply to a text message or I think I've said something to upset him, I freak out and think he's going to dump me.

I'm living in a constant state of panic...and it's making me behave erratically.

I feel so sorry for him because he has to put up with all this and I'm scared he's going to get sick of it and not love me anymore.

[charmed60]

I had a similar thing to you; not exactly but in terms of anxiety and when I didn't receive text messages or things didn't happen on time I was convinced something had happened and someone I loved was hurt. I went for counselling and it really really helped, it's worth considering if these fears are still there eight months into your relationship. It's great that you have such a supportive boyfriend and proves you're not fat or ugly and he obviously loves you and cares about you Seek help if it's disrupting your life though as you don't deserve to be feeling like this because of childhood bullies. You'll probably find that they're now the ugly ones!

[HighwayUnicorn]

Deleted.

[KirstyEkua]

I think I'm driving myself crazy.

My whole life I've been told I'm not good enough, that I'm ugly, that I'm fat (all this at school) and I thought I'd never find a boyfriend because of all that.

I've been out of school for years and I finally found the right guy for me and we've been dating for 8 months now, but from the very moment we started dating, all my anxiety came flooding back and there's this constant voice in my head saying "you're not good enough for him, you're annoying and he's going to dump you".

He tells me he loves me, he knows about my anxiety, he understands me better than anyone, he says he loves me no matter what, but as soon as he doesn't reply to a text message or I think I've said something to upset him, I freak out and think he's going to dump me.

I'm living in a constant state of panic...and it's making me behave erratically.

I feel so sorry for him because he has to put up with all this and I'm scared he's going to get sick of it and not love me anymore.

I can really identify with a lot of the things you said. I freak out if a friend doesn't respond to a text message, phone call etc and automatically think i've done something to annoy them or something awful has happened. I guess the only way to deal with this is too force yourself to relax and not worry, because most of the time there's nothing wrong. Don't let cowrdly bullies dictate how you feel about yourself, they don't deserve that.

It sounds like you have a lovely boyfriend and remember he is with you becasue he wants too be. Eight months is long time and it seems like he genuinly does love you. The other day one of my best friends told me i had to 'realise my own self worth,' and i think that applies to everyone. You are a beautiful, special person and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You have a man who obviously adores you and wants to be with you, embrace that and let yourself be happy.

[j.laur5]

Hey, I think I need some advice from outside my circle of friends.

One night I was clubing and a girl pushed me and she said 'Why do you keep following my friend?' and then my friend didn't even say anything.

I mean I still hang out with my friend since and we still talk but it's on my mind a lot and I want to know whether I should ask her why she didn't stand up for me?

Or do you think it's best for me to let it go because she's been a very good friend 98% of the time?

[Lise]

I think I'm driving myself crazy.

My whole life I've been told I'm not good enough, that I'm ugly, that I'm fat (all this at school) and I thought I'd never find a boyfriend because of all that.

I've been out of school for years and I finally found the right guy for me and we've been dating for 8 months now, but from the very moment we started dating, all my anxiety came flooding back and there's this constant voice in my head saying "you're not good enough for him, you're annoying and he's going to dump you".

He tells me he loves me, he knows about my anxiety, he understands me better than anyone, he says he loves me no matter what, but as soon as he doesn't reply to a text message or I think I've said something to upset him, I freak out and think he's going to dump me.

I'm living in a constant state of panic...and it's making me behave erratically.

I feel so sorry for him because he has to put up with all this and I'm scared he's going to get sick of it and not love me anymore.

I suffer from anxiety problems. First of all, I always thought that the negative thoughts were normal and that I just had to put up with them but I have been on medication and the thoughts have gone. Second, I used to think and still do to an extent that I was burden to the people around me until I had a chat with a friend and she told me I most certainly wasn't. The people around you (including your boyfriend) love you and would do anything for you. I would try talking to your doctor and see what they have to say.

[-Sarah-]

Thanks, guys

Things are a lot better now, I sat down with my boyfriend and told him exaclty how I was feeling and why I was acting the way I was. He told me he suffered from anxiety a few years ago so knows what I'm going through.

It's always nice to know that people out there know what I'm going through- it's really nice to not feel alone.

[Lise]

I'm happy to hear that things are well for you now. While anxiety isn't something I'd wish on anyone it must be nice that he knows what your going through.

[-Kevin-]

I don't think I've ever felt so low but I need to get it all out....

Back in September I started texting this amazing guy (although I hadn't realised he was amazing at this point) and he really did like me..........But I ended up turning him down! Then I start to realise how great he is.....and then he is going out with one of my best friends! It was hard for me seeing them together but I'd always thought that deep down he always wanted me and not my friend, and as time went on it became obvious to me that we were really "meant to be together" all along, we got very close since we met and always felt drawn to him, it was strange. It was only last week after weeks of fighting he broke up with his boyfriend (my friend) and told me that he had to break up with him because he didn't feel the same about him anymore because he liked me so much. After they broke up we both told each other how much we liked each other, even saying that we think its a lot more than liking each other, and basically he literally promised me the world. Then we decided on seeing each other behind my friends back (horrible I know, but I thought it was definitely something worth fighting for and I couldn't bring myself to let it go) anyway the first night we just went to the beach and walked holding hands, it was so nice, then we had a bit of a kiss and a cuddle and it was amazing.. The following night I stayed over at his, and we didn't do anything just slept in each others arms and it was so perfect, I really thought I'd found someone who could love me for who I am, and would fight for me...... Then yesterday I thought he was being a bit off with me when he was texting me, so I was worried about that all day, till today he basically dumped me because he still has feelings for his ex! I was never so gutted in my life, I honestly thought he had chosen me, and I really never thought anyone would choose me I really didn't. To say I am heartbroken at the moment would be an understatement, he wants to be friends and all I want to do is tell him to f**k himself for hurting me so bad...... It wasn't like he was letting me down gently cause of a crush I had on him, he promised me everything then ripped it all away from me, and that is the worst part. Also now I am hating myself for doing what I done to my friend because I wouldn't have done that to him for anyone, I only did it because I thought I had something special with the guy!

I am just so shocked that he is going to go back to his ex (who treats him like s**t) after everything thats happened, and everything thats been said! I just wana curl up and never come out again! :(

[TelephotoMarigold]

Sorry to hear that Kevin, Nothing I can say will take away how crap you are feeling at the moment but I hope you know you don't deserve this. All I can do is listen and be a friend if you need it... I have no words of wisdom here, I could point out that finding out he is a jerk now is better than in a few months times when you've really fallen for him but it doesn't take the sting out of what he is done. Take some time out lick your wounds then pin a smile on your face and show him that you are a much better person than he is....and that he has lost out on being with someone as great as you!!

Sending you a cyber hug....

Tele

xx