Support Group

[-Kevin-]

Sorry to hear that Kevin, Nothing I can say will take away how crap you are feeling at the moment but I hope you know you don't deserve this. All I can do is listen and be a friend if you need it... I have no words of wisdom here, I could point out that finding out he is a jerk now is better than in a few months times when you've really fallen for him but it doesn't take the sting out of what he is done. Take some time out lick your wounds then pin a smile on your face and show him that you are a much better person than he is....and that he has lost out on being with someone as great as you!!

Sending you a cyber hug....

Tele

xx

Thank you for your kind words Tele and you are right, if I had been dumped a couple of months down the line it would be 10 times worse although at the moment I don't feel like I could feel any worse! And I know now that I am worth so much more than this!

Thank you

x

[HighwayUnicorn]

I agree with Tele & you need to make him know that you deserve a lot more than that Kevin & that you are obviously worth a lot more than him. I love you. If you need to talk, I'm here.

xxxxxx

[Laura]

Kevinnnnnnnnnn :( I got all your texts this morning and realized i texted back at like 3 this morning... i cant remember i was probs really asleep. hes a twat!!! i hope you're ok!!! xxxxxxxxxxx

[~Zoe~]

Ok... just need a bit of advice with a couple of things....

Well, last year in September I was doing a childcare course, I had to leave in the first week though because of how rude the tutor spoke to me on the first day. She kept me back after all the lessons had finished and said "dont you realise your more slow with your work than everyone else" - was shocked with that as in July last year I did say at my interview that I'd need a bit of help with my work, as I have a bit of a learning difficulty as I've got epilepsy,

^ that Is being dealt with now hopefully.

Anyway since then, I've been going to this place called MIND, I go their for help to build up my confidence. Go their 10 till 3 on Tuesdays, Wednesdays & Fridays, Thursdays I go to the womens group., 1 till 3 then I also go on Saturdays aswell, which at the weekend, well on a Saturday its 10 till 2. At first when I started going their last year in the 2nd week of September after I left college, I was very nervous. I'm enjoying it now though, everyone speaks to me, to help build up my confidence, & last week Rob one of the voulenteers said I'm doing well, & that my confidence is improving!

I'm nearly 26 - will be that age next month, and their is a guy I like who goes to MIND called Jason, & he is 10 years older than me, he's 35. Is that age difference okay - someone who is 10 years older than myself?! I've spoken to a couple of the staff, & they say that its fine & that age is just a number, & it all depends on if you get on well. Maddie, who works their on Saturdays, I spoke to her about this last week - she said he is'nt ready for a reletionship, as everyone who goes to MIND all have problems ect.. & she said do you have feelings for Jason & I said I do., She just suggested us going out for a coffee, or something after MIND, & she thinks he would do that He's not normally the type of person who I'd really go for, after all he's 10 years older than me, but when I told a few people that I liked him, they all said that he's lovely, which he is! Beckie on Wednesday, I also spoke to her about this & she said, what is it that you like about him, & she said is it because of his good nature, & I said yes, & he also makes me laugh, & everyone else... got a good sense of humour.

I was speaking to Jason today, when he came in and he asked how I was ec (so I had plenty of opperunites to say that to him, as he was also sitting near me.. but I did'nt have the courage to see if he'd like to do that, even if it would just going for a coffee ect, still a bit too shy I think. < any help on overcoming shyness would be great

Plus, he went out after MIND finished for a drink in town at the pub with John (John is a voulenteer at MIND) - & with Maddie who knows I like Jason, she said to me on the quiet, why dont you go with them for a beer. I was actually going to, but then I was thinking that I dont look 26, people say I only look 20 & a few years ago, when I went out I allways had to take my passport with me to be served alchol, even though I'm 26 next month.

So thats another thing, that he might think I'm too young, just because I only look about 19/20. When I'm actually older than that! So unsure of what to do.

-

Different thing, my grandad really frustrates me at times... my nan does too, but especially my grandad, (I know I guess all grandparents can be like that I guess) but its the way they both speak to me, particuarly my grandad, lspeaks to me like I'm a child, when I'm not... I'm an adult, they fuss over me way too much, allways have done because of my epilepsy. I know I should say something to them about it, wouldnt know how or what to say though, too shy to do that & speak to them, even though they're my family!

Thanks

[TelephotoMarigold]

Hey, I think I need some advice from outside my circle of friends.

One night I was clubing and a girl pushed me and she said 'Why do you keep following my friend?' and then my friend didn't even say anything.

I mean I still hang out with my friend since and we still talk but it's on my mind a lot and I want to know whether I should ask her why she didn't stand up for me?

Or do you think it's best for me to let it go because she's been a very good friend 98% of the time?

Hey!

Did you sort this out? I feel bad that no -one replied to you!

Hope that you are ok!

Tele

xx

[TelephotoMarigold]

Zoe,

I think that at 26 the age thing shouldn't be an issue. I mean if there is something there then you should take a big step and just ask the guy out. He can say no and you'll be able to tell yourself that you tried and move on ... or he could say yes... the important thing being that you don't build it up into a "BIG" thing... treat it as just a drink witha friend... and find out what he is like outside the comfort area of MIND. It might be that you like him even more or maybe you just want to be friends. But you are never going to know until you try... If he does say no don't let yourself be hurt by it.. you know he has problems of his own and he might not be in a place where he is ready for anything .... instead you can be proud of yourself for have the courage to have a go...

As for looking younger than your age... don't worry about it... there are some people I know panicking about reaching the age of twenty... (she's already using anti-aging cream!)....

Tele

xx

[~Zoe~]

Zoe,

I think that at 26 the age thing shouldn't be an issue. I mean if there is something there then you should take a big step and just ask the guy out. He can say no and you'll be able to tell yourself that you tried and move on ... or he could say yes... the important thing being that you don't build it up into a "BIG" thing... treat it as just a drink witha friend... and find out what he is like outside the comfort area of MIND. It might be that you like him even more or maybe you just want to be friends. But you are never going to know until you try... If he does say no don't let yourself be hurt by it.. you know he has problems of his own and he might not be in a place where he is ready for anything .... instead you can be proud of yourself for have the courage to have a go...

As for looking younger than your age... don't worry about it... there are some people I know panicking about reaching the age of twenty... (she's already using anti-aging cream!)....

Tele

xx

Nah I'm not going to build it up into a big thing, only thing I was worried about was my age as he's 10 years older than me. Thats why I didnt say anything on Saturday, guess I will take that big step as you say, & just ask. Otherwise if I dont I'll never know. Your right I will be proud, as everyone is saying that I'm doing well their gaining more confidence, still shy around them. That will take time but, will just have to keep talking to everyone there & then it'll improve even more.

Thanks Tele

x

[j.laur5]

Hey, I think I need some advice from outside my circle of friends.

One night I was clubing and a girl pushed me and she said 'Why do you keep following my friend?' and then my friend didn't even say anything.

I mean I still hang out with my friend since and we still talk but it's on my mind a lot and I want to know whether I should ask her why she didn't stand up for me?

Or do you think it's best for me to let it go because she's been a very good friend 98% of the time?

Hey!

Did you sort this out? I feel bad that no -one replied to you!

Hope that you are ok!

Tele

xx

It's okay, I am long over it.

And thanks for asking. The girl who pushed doesn't like any boys and I have forgiven my friend.

But can I still have your advice please on what is the best way to move on from it and I haven't seen this girl since she pushed me?

[adellejefferiesxox]

I'm really struggling, I've been fighting to put on some weight. Any suggestions for buliding muscle mass??? I've been trying to eat as much protein as I can. I think I'm receiving enough carbs, I drink water (but I probably could be drinking more).... I've been excerising because I think that's an important part to build muscle mass. Nothing has worked I really don't want to take protein supplments, I'd rather do it naturally eating and drinking the right type of foods.

I've been eating, nuts, lots of milk, cheese, ham, bacon, salami, baked beans, peanut butter sandwiches, mince, steak, eggs, wheatbix.....

What's the secret to buliding body mass??? see my fomular I've been using is.... Protein+Carb+Potassium+ (water- but I don't think I'm having as much as I should).

Ahhhhh i dont know

[Slade]

I'm really struggling, I've been fighting to put on some weight. Any suggestions for buliding muscle mass??? I've been trying to eat as much protein as I can. I think I'm receiving enough carbs, I drink water (but I probably could be drinking more).... I've been excerising because I think that's an important part to build muscle mass. Nothing has worked I really don't want to take protein supplments, I'd rather do it naturally eating and drinking the right type of foods.

I've been eating, nuts, lots of milk, cheese, ham, bacon, salami, baked beans, peanut butter sandwiches, mince, steak, eggs, wheatbix.....

What's the secret to buliding body mass??? see my fomular I've been using is.... Protein+Carb+Potassium+ (water- but I don't think I'm having as much as I should).

Ahhhhh i dont know

I had a similar problem a while back and I’m wondering if you have a fast metabolism like me. What I did first of all was to make a list of everything I ate each day (including all snacks). I would then work out how many calories I was consuming on a daily basis so then based on that I could aim to eat a certain amount each day to put on weight – basically I had to eat a lot more than I was originally. I focused on foods that were high in calories. I ate a lot of peanuts and bananas because they were high in calories (and good for you), carbohydrates (rice, potatoes, yams, pasta etc) and shakes. There were two kinds – the shakes to supplement weight gain and ones to supply protein. Rather than focusing on big meals you might find it easier to have several small meals spread out over the day so you are eating something every 2-3 hours.

As you’ve mentioned above if you want to build muscle mass in addition to eating more, you will need to include plenty of protein in your diet. Peanuts have plenty of protein but you can also include meat. I ate a lot of chicken and fish as I personally try and avoid red meat. I also ate beans like you and the odd occasion had eggs. Again I supplemented what I ate with the protein shakes and protein bars (even though I don’t think they tasted particularly nice). I know you said you don’t want to do the shakes but I found they helped a lot even though the formula wasn’t cheap.

In addition to eating more protein, doing weights will also help build your muscles. You said you were exercising but are you actually doing any form of weight lifting? I didn’t have a clue what exercises I needed to do so I joined a gym to receive guidance. They can also give you advice about what to do regarding your diet and I would strongly recommend receiving some form of guidance if you are serious about weights - don’t even think about doing it on your own if you are new to it. Again a lot of people I met who were seriously into body building were using the shakes.

From what you’ve mentioned above if you are trying as hard as you can to put on weight and it’s not working I know this is not what you want to hear but you are going to have to eat more than what you are at the moment. Again that’s why you should consider making a list of what you are currently eating and tallying up the calories. Then you can decide what you are going to eat each day in advance and try your best to stick to it. It’s not going to be easy and you are going to have to be pretty disciplined but it is possible.

N.B. I’m no expert and am just sharing my personal experience and someone else might offer alternative advice but it would be good to get information from other people.

Anyway, good luck!